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Started By
Message
Take a minute to reach out to old friends, to let them know how much they mean to you.TLDR
Posted on 8/19/25 at 8:28 pm
Posted on 8/19/25 at 8:28 pm
Sorry, it's long. If you don't want to read, don't bother. Just call someone you care about before you can't.
~~~~~
Got a message this morning from someone I'd met through MY friend at an event.
Saying "I don't know if you know, I'm not quite sure what to say."
That was it.
But I knew where our connection was...and I know a text like that is never good.
I knew his lady had some health issues...so I reached out. Said I didn't know what had happened, but I loved them.
That's the last text I'll ever get to send him.
Because his lady is okay. Well, she's here. They found my friend at the foot of the stairs. Sometimes you just go.
The last time we dealt with a death, it was our mutual friend. Our friend's fiancée found him in his chair in the back yard when he didn't come to bed.
This time it was my buddy. Gone before he hit 50. You never know. No warning. No long lingering illness.
Just a goodbye like a gutshot. All the plans you made laughing, the "we'll do it this way next year." All shot to shite.
We get one go. One ride, no return ticket. No guarantees, no refunds. The early years I knew him he struggled with a lot of unsettled issues. These last few he made a lot of peace, reconciled and turned things around. So glad he did. I didn't see that bitterness in him anymore. the last time I got a chance to see him, I almost didn't take it.
I had too much going on, couldn't afford it, blah blah blah. But I knew it was important to him, and for a good cause, so I said yes. Crashed on their couch. A benefit event. And man...we Laughed so much. There was a LOT of labor but the group we were with, good people. Made it easy. We raised a lot of money for a great cause (kids) and we were all about making it better for next year.
Well...there will be a next year but he won't be there. An empty chair. But we soldier on in honor of the ones who can't be there. That's what it's all about, right?
Anyway...if you've got friends that mean something to you...maybe you haven't talked in a while. Maybe you were cold the last time you parted.
Reach out with some warmth, or your next parting might be a cold one.
I get the cold comfort of looking around my house and seeing things my friend made. He was a woodworker, and damn fine one. I can pick up and touch a dozen things he made. Sawed and sanded and oiled...
I'm lucky. I can hold my memories of him. More than a lot of us can say.
Good friends only come along so often. And when they're gone they're gone. So let them know how much they mean while you can. Last goodbye's the hardest.
Peace.
~~~~~
Got a message this morning from someone I'd met through MY friend at an event.
Saying "I don't know if you know, I'm not quite sure what to say."
That was it.
But I knew where our connection was...and I know a text like that is never good.
I knew his lady had some health issues...so I reached out. Said I didn't know what had happened, but I loved them.
That's the last text I'll ever get to send him.
Because his lady is okay. Well, she's here. They found my friend at the foot of the stairs. Sometimes you just go.
The last time we dealt with a death, it was our mutual friend. Our friend's fiancée found him in his chair in the back yard when he didn't come to bed.
This time it was my buddy. Gone before he hit 50. You never know. No warning. No long lingering illness.
Just a goodbye like a gutshot. All the plans you made laughing, the "we'll do it this way next year." All shot to shite.
We get one go. One ride, no return ticket. No guarantees, no refunds. The early years I knew him he struggled with a lot of unsettled issues. These last few he made a lot of peace, reconciled and turned things around. So glad he did. I didn't see that bitterness in him anymore. the last time I got a chance to see him, I almost didn't take it.
I had too much going on, couldn't afford it, blah blah blah. But I knew it was important to him, and for a good cause, so I said yes. Crashed on their couch. A benefit event. And man...we Laughed so much. There was a LOT of labor but the group we were with, good people. Made it easy. We raised a lot of money for a great cause (kids) and we were all about making it better for next year.
Well...there will be a next year but he won't be there. An empty chair. But we soldier on in honor of the ones who can't be there. That's what it's all about, right?
Anyway...if you've got friends that mean something to you...maybe you haven't talked in a while. Maybe you were cold the last time you parted.
Reach out with some warmth, or your next parting might be a cold one.
I get the cold comfort of looking around my house and seeing things my friend made. He was a woodworker, and damn fine one. I can pick up and touch a dozen things he made. Sawed and sanded and oiled...
I'm lucky. I can hold my memories of him. More than a lot of us can say.
Good friends only come along so often. And when they're gone they're gone. So let them know how much they mean while you can. Last goodbye's the hardest.
Peace.
This post was edited on 8/19/25 at 9:54 pm
Posted on 8/19/25 at 8:29 pm to fr33manator
Thanks for sharing, will do.
This post was edited on 8/19/25 at 8:56 pm
Posted on 8/19/25 at 8:35 pm to fr33manator
Great post, fr33. You’re absolutely right, and I’m sorry for your loss.
Posted on 8/19/25 at 8:35 pm to fr33manator
I've read your post three times and I still don't know who is dead and who is alive. 
This post was edited on 8/19/25 at 8:36 pm
Posted on 8/19/25 at 8:35 pm to fr33manator
I called my grandma today because it was her birthday, but I call or see her weekly anyway. I’m about to send a text to my two friends who live down south 
Posted on 8/19/25 at 8:39 pm to TideSaint
My good friend is dead.
A mutual acquaintance is how I found out,
Sorry I'm still reeling, it came out of nowhere
ETA: the last time we suffered a similar loss (another mutual friend of ours who introduced us) it was him calling me.
Now...who the frick do I call?
A mutual acquaintance is how I found out,
Sorry I'm still reeling, it came out of nowhere
ETA: the last time we suffered a similar loss (another mutual friend of ours who introduced us) it was him calling me.
Now...who the frick do I call?
This post was edited on 8/19/25 at 8:41 pm
Posted on 8/19/25 at 8:40 pm to fr33manator
Good advice. Sorry for your loss. 
Posted on 8/19/25 at 8:52 pm to TideSaint
quote:
I've read your post three times and I still don't know who is dead and who is alive.
Thank god I thought it was just me having problems and didn’t want to be the a-hole to say something.
So, thanks, a-hole.
Posted on 8/19/25 at 9:03 pm to Havoc
quote:
I've read your post three times and I still don't know who is dead and who is alive
Thought I was having a stroke reading that and I died!
Posted on 8/19/25 at 9:08 pm to fr33manator
Received a text from my sister about a month ago.
"What did Larry die of?" Blew me away. He was a great friend who was in my wedding and we grew up and worked together.
I've lost friends, but not like this one. Hit me like a ton of bricks. My mortality hit me right in the face.
Sorry for your loss.
"What did Larry die of?" Blew me away. He was a great friend who was in my wedding and we grew up and worked together.
I've lost friends, but not like this one. Hit me like a ton of bricks. My mortality hit me right in the face.
Sorry for your loss.
Posted on 8/19/25 at 9:09 pm to fr33manator
I'm still trying to process what I read but condolences.
Posted on 8/19/25 at 9:24 pm to fr33manator
quote:
They found my friend at the foot of the stairs. Sometimes you just go.
quote:
Just a goodbye like a gutshot. All the plans you made laughing, the "we'll do it this way next year." All shot to shite.
So, suicide? Or did he have a heart attack or something. Your deep, vague words are a little too deep and vague here.
Posted on 8/19/25 at 9:27 pm to This GUN for HIRE
Sorry...long story short i got a text this morning offering condolences...for a dear friend I didn't know was dead yet.
And there was a brief moment where I wasn't sure if it was his wife or him who had passed...
So I checked on him.
But it was him that passed
And there was a brief moment where I wasn't sure if it was his wife or him who had passed...
So I checked on him.
But it was him that passed
Posted on 8/19/25 at 9:38 pm to Giantkiller
quote:
So, suicide?
No signs of that at all. Just random death. Aneurysm, heart attack, who knows.
Had been planning for things, living life.
Kind of like our friend. Mid 40s just sitting out back with his dog...dead in his chair.
Nothing on toxicology.
People just go.
Posted on 8/19/25 at 10:06 pm to fr33manator
quote:
Now...who the frick do I call?
Talk to God.
Posted on 8/19/25 at 10:17 pm to fr33manator
I do this several times each month right before I go to bed. I’ll send a text, telling someone how much I appreciate the things they’ve done for me.
Always seems to mean something to them.
Always seems to mean something to them.
Posted on 8/19/25 at 10:20 pm to fr33manator
My dad’s best friend died extremely unexpectedly two weeks ago, and he was a second father to me. Yeah, it’s really sad. Was bullshitting with him the week before about Ole Miss. Super sad and I do want to know what the autopsy determined.
Sorry for your loss fr33.
Sorry for your loss fr33.
This post was edited on 8/19/25 at 10:21 pm
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