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Started By
Message
DIY Divorce?
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:19 pm
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:19 pm
(no message)
This post was edited on 10/16/24 at 4:19 pm
32
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:21 pm to Highway_Man
No legal advice but sorry to hear, man.
And good on you for trying to fight for your marriage.
And good on you for trying to fight for your marriage.
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:22 pm to Highway_Man
Story as old as time. Yes, it's doable if you already have everything worked out, especially with property settlement. You can hire a lawyer to type everything up and file it at the courthouse for pretty cheap. Child support is easily determined by charts issued by the state. My first wife and I did this route, and it was very cheap, as far as legal fees go. Neither one of us had to stand in front of the judge even once. Scary how easy it is to disolve a marriage. It takes skill to keep one together. You always lose something in a divorce though, even the easier ones.
This post was edited on 10/16/24 at 3:25 pm
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:22 pm to Highway_Man
Get a lawyer.
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:22 pm to Highway_Man
quote:
She doesn't want the house (nor equity
Man, keep that shite!
1) delete this thread
2) keep everything she sends you
3) get your arse to a lawyer.
Women say all kinds of shite ti get you to lower your guard. Then, their lawyer will filet you alive. Don’t be an idiot and lawyer up!
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:23 pm to Highway_Man
quote:
can we do this ourselves civilly?
probably not
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:23 pm to Highway_Man
Don't have to have a lawyer but you will need to have an agreement on kids and all that when you see the judge and how you want to split up assets... House Cars Debt etc.
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:23 pm to Highway_Man
I imagine the whole kids thing is going to require attorney/court involvement.
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:23 pm to Highway_Man
Get an attorney to draft it all up so that she can't come back in a decade with some loop hole and ask for back pay or something. Write out what you agree on, send it to an attorney and have the attorney do the rest. That process is hard enough emotionally, you don't need a call from the courthouse in 6 months because you filed some paperwork incorrectly.
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:23 pm to Highway_Man
You can try, and should. But it won’t be that easy.
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:24 pm to Highway_Man
I think you can hire one lawyer potentially just to file paperwork. If you have all the parameters you’ve agreed to in writing, you can sign it and pay a lawyer to sign and file it (I think)
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:24 pm to Highway_Man
quote:
I did not cheat ever, emotionally or physically
What the hell is emotionally cheating?
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:26 pm to Highway_Man
She has found a lawyer, probably banging, and will take everything!
You need a lawyer ASAP.
You need a lawyer ASAP.
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:26 pm to Geauxld Finger
quote:
I think you can hire one lawyer potentially just to file paperwork. If you have all the parameters you’ve agreed to in writing, you can sign it and pay a lawyer to sign and file it (I think)
That's it
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:26 pm to TeddyPadillac
You could as a couple have a lawyer write this up and mediate for pretty cheap.
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:27 pm to Highway_Man
If you still want to save your marriage order the book Divorce Busting by Michelle Weiner Davis.
Read it. Don't tell your wife. Do what is says. Much of the advice is counter intuitive to what you think you should be doing. Much of what you are doing is pushing her away I'm sure. Like guilting her about hurting kids.
Even if it doesn't work out you will come through this much better for having read it.
Good luck. I'll pray for your family.
Read it. Don't tell your wife. Do what is says. Much of the advice is counter intuitive to what you think you should be doing. Much of what you are doing is pushing her away I'm sure. Like guilting her about hurting kids.
Even if it doesn't work out you will come through this much better for having read it.
Good luck. I'll pray for your family.
This post was edited on 10/16/24 at 3:28 pm
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:27 pm to Tvilletiger
Yeah after reading all this I think at a minimum, having a lawyer help put things in writing would be ideal.
This post was edited on 10/16/24 at 3:30 pm
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:27 pm to Tiger985
quote:
If you still want to save your marriage order the book Divorce Busting by Michelle Weiner Davis.
Read it. Don't tell your wife. Do what is says. Much of the advice is counter intuitive to what you think you should be doing. Much of what you are doing is pushing her away I'm sure. Like guilting her about hurting kids.
Even if it doesn't work out you you will come through this much better for having read it.
Good luck. I'll pray for your family.
Thanks brother- I appreciate that!
This post was edited on 10/16/24 at 3:28 pm
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:29 pm to Highway_Man
quote:Hate the news, but my one word of advice is that if this goes forward, you dont have to be mean or nasty, but remove all emotion. Understand she will be advised to get her share of yalls stuff, and she will. Have a plan in place to deal with all of this, it is as inevitable as the sun rising in the East. She will surround herself with a bunch of evil, like minded women, they will spend alot of time together and will be her biggest influencers. They will tell her to take her share and she will.
She keeps her state retirement through work, I keep my 401k, we each keep our vehicles. She doesn't want the house (nor equity but planning to agree to give her a portion from the current value if we ever sell).
Am I missing something here? Do we need a lawyer or can we do this ourselves civilly?
Posted on 10/16/24 at 3:30 pm to Highway_Man
Like others have said, get a lawyer and have paperwork drafter for yall to sign. Because once she moves out and starts hanging out with other divorced women, she'll change her mind after hearing how much stuff Karen got from her husband in their divorce.
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