Getting financially screwed in divorce

Me 49. Her 37.
She files.

There is no cheating or abuse or anything. She is just a different person. And all about the kids (2 under 12). Extreme.

She works the same job as me but less years of experience. Both worked full time the whole marriage.

Both of us have a pension.

I contributed decently to retirement in Roth and 403b and she barely did.

She moved in my first house briefly and we rolled over money from that to the current house.

So in these community property states she gets equity from my first house and my retirement funds in my name and a big chunk of my bigger pension.

She effectively will retire nice and rich in her mid 50s.....while my plans will be delayed at least a few years at the same age. She pulled me back and launched herself ahead. And all the while she has 12 more years to catch up than I do.

I think it's a complete a-hole move.

I also think I am screwed and nothing can stop it.

I should have divorced her years ago and saved some cash and stress but I really valued the family for the kids.

Effectively in these community property states whoever the lesser earner, saver is...has lost leverage from day one in a marriage.

Going to be hard to co parent with this outcome and see her on a regular basis.

Ultimately my fault to some degree....at the same time....this is not justice.

Some wise people on here give me counsel...