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re: Do Affair Relationships Last After Divorce?

Posted on 1/16/24 at 11:51 am to
Posted by Mike da Tigah
Bravo Romeo Lima Alpha
Member since Feb 2005
59140 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 11:51 am to
quote:

I do not think the percentages work out for the new couples




Yeah, the odds are pretty horrible to say the least, and perhaps the worst part of all this is the big old bag of regret and self hatred you’re left with as a parting gift for the whole ordeal.




Posted by Buck_Rogers
Member since Jul 2013
1865 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 12:15 pm to
Why did you post a question then answer it yourself with another question?
Posted by deltaland
Member since Mar 2011
91227 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 12:16 pm to
Marriage would be much easier if women would just accept that a man needs a side piece once in awhile
Posted by TheTeaux
Rouses on Airline Drive
Member since Mar 2023
1210 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 12:25 pm to
Approximately 50% of marriages end in death.
Posted by SlidellCajun
Slidell la
Member since May 2019
10629 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 12:28 pm to
quote:

Lol, uh no, it's over if there's an affair.


Not true at all

I know several marriages that survived cheating instances.
Husbands cheated but never fell in love. It was physical. After some counseling, they learned that the husband was having difficulty with the marriage because he was no longer the center of attention and the wife learned that she was overly focused on being a mom and was neglecting the husband. Communication broke down and the husband cheated.

They are still married today- 25 years later
Posted by greenbean
USAF Retired
Member since Feb 2019
4779 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 12:28 pm to
I doubt there's much hard data to support any conclusions on this, but anecdotally, I'd think they don't last. I just don't get caught and I'm good.
Posted by BoogaBear
Member since Jul 2013
5666 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 12:30 pm to
Those are just the stats for the ones that get caught. Lots of affairs happen and the marriage continues on
Posted by Will Cover
St. Louis, MO
Member since Mar 2007
38692 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 12:32 pm to
quote:

Hoovertigah


quote:

Google Limerence


You know who Joe Beam is too?
Posted by SpotCheckBilly
Member since May 2020
6637 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 12:33 pm to
My FiL was a wise man and a pretty good observer. He said cheaters fall into two categories: when the new wears off and they are faced with their conscience instead of running from it, they never cheat again; others get that taste and they might stop for a while, but they hunger for that taste always and will cheat again.
Posted by Billy Blanks
Member since Dec 2021
3827 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 12:34 pm to
Shania Twain's husband was knocking the bottom out of the nanny. The nanny would go on to marry her ex. Shania married the nanny's Ex-Husband.

This post was edited on 1/16/24 at 12:36 pm
Posted by bcflash
bossier city
Member since Oct 2016
449 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 12:34 pm to
I’ve known some that didn’t last long at all, and others for years (3 I know over 20 years for sure)
Posted by Will Cover
St. Louis, MO
Member since Mar 2007
38692 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 12:37 pm to
quote:

My ex wife married the guy she cheated with. She then cheated on him, and they got divorced. Then married the guy she was cheating with again. Then got divorced again. Why? Cheating


She’s chasing a high. It’s like an addict looking for the next hit.
Posted by KiwiHead
Auckland, NZ
Member since Jul 2014
28083 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 12:44 pm to
No one here is talking all that much about women who cheat. But, I find that women can be just as unfaithful. Knew a guy who cheated on his wife with one of her "best friends" then left his wife for this woman. New girlfriend wife then goes about having flings with at least 10 guys over their 12 year marriage...said she could not get pregnant.....mainly because she was taking the pill the whole while and she did not want a "mistake".

He finally caught her one day when he missed a flight for work and came home in the early afternoon and ran into the guy naked in his kitchen and the wife on the living room floor naked and freaking out. She then tells him EVERYTHING.....dude had been getting cheated on since right after the honeymoon.
This post was edited on 1/16/24 at 12:45 pm
Posted by Ancient Astronaut
Member since May 2015
33353 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 12:47 pm to
quote:

He finally caught her one day when he missed a flight for work and came home in the early afternoon and ran into the guy naked in his kitchen and the wife on the living room floor naked and freaking out. She then tells him EVERYTHING.....dude had been getting cheated on since right after the honeymoon.


I wasn’t naked
Posted by Tenfold
Member since Mar 2023
63 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 12:47 pm to
So what is an expert? Dr Madden?
A book filled person with a bunch of head knowledge and opinions?
The real experts are the one’s who meant and maintain the marriage vows “ for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health till death do us part “.
People in affairs do not have the capacity to love because they are to self centered. They feel with their eyes and reason with their emotions. Selfish people rarely stayed married. They only create patterns of divorce all the while never reflecting on their own shortcomings and victim mentality.
Posted by zippyputt
Member since Jul 2005
5824 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 12:53 pm to
Pretty accurate.
Posted by tide06
Member since Oct 2011
11353 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 12:54 pm to
quote:

cheaters will cheat again. I mean that is not some hard to predict outcome.

A majority of Americans are not capable of being in a healthy relationship because they themselves are not healthy and or stable.

Most people experience some sort of trauma which ends up defining them and very few are capable of breaking through that trauma to avoid perpetuating it on their own relationships in various forms.

Even those without trauma rarely ever know what they want or how they could ultimately manifest themselves in a positive way that would result in their happiness, so you end up with people chasing short term artificial wins (bigger house, better spouse, more money) rather than meaningful positive happiness through introspective reflection and self improvement.

I’d imagine that the population that ends up cheating is heavily inclined towards the short term reward group.

Given that when they get what they thought they wanted (cheating “better”partner) and remain unhappy are forced to choose between acknowledging they were at least part of the issue or just taking the easy out and convincing themselves a new partner would be the panacea they need to finally be happy choose option B.
This post was edited on 1/16/24 at 12:59 pm
Posted by Mike da Tigah
Bravo Romeo Lima Alpha
Member since Feb 2005
59140 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 12:56 pm to
quote:

People in affairs do not have the capacity to love because they are to self centered.


You just described the generations alive today. We are a country of narcissists, fixated on self adoration like never before, and I’d argue there are none more narcissistic than the young women today that litter their social media with pictures of themselves to get reaffirmation, and that’s all they have to go on, but wait a decade or so, and you won’t see any pictures of themselves that aren’t AI generated.

It’s sad that people spend so much time working on the wrapping paper but almost none on the inward person who you’re going to be left to deal with when age hits them square in the face and they aren’t the center of attention anymore. It’s just an enormous mess, and the fallout in the next few decades is going to be awful I’m afraid. I don’t see anything good coming from it save perhaps generations that follow perhaps taking notes and going in the opposite direction of all this ME worship.



Posted by Oates Mustache
Member since Oct 2011
22382 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 1:47 pm to
quote:

I know several marriages that survived cheating instances.


Nah, to hell with all that. Your wife/GF chooses to have some other dude bone her, I'm out. I don't give a shite what the reason is. Maybe you should have communicated your issues before getting the meat shaft of some rando.

I can't ever unsee that.


Posted by geauxbrown
Louisiana
Member since Oct 2006
19788 posts
Posted on 1/16/24 at 2:04 pm to
My ex wife has been married to the man she cheated with for a couple of years now.

Hopefully it lasts
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