- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Score Board
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- SEC Score Board
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: Anyone got any good jokes?
Posted on 1/12/24 at 11:00 am to Minden tiger
Posted on 1/12/24 at 11:00 am to Minden tiger
Man picks up a lady of the night, that only charges $5, wakes up the next morning and finds out he got crabs.
Goes back the next day and finds the lady and says hey, you gave me crabs, lady says, "you paid me $5, what were you expecting, lobster?"
Goes back the next day and finds the lady and says hey, you gave me crabs, lady says, "you paid me $5, what were you expecting, lobster?"
Posted on 1/12/24 at 11:06 am to Minden tiger
Son tells his father he has to do a report on Perception vs Reality, and asks for his help because he is not clear about how to even how to describe the differences.
Dad says go ask your mom, sister and brother if they would have sex with Brad pit for 1,000,000.00 and then come back with what you learned?
Son goes to his mom and asks her if she would have sex with Brad Pitt and after mulling the question, she said she would so your father could retire sooner because he works so hard.
Son goes to his sister and asks the same question. Sister says she absolutely would have sex with Brad Pitt for a million, because she would do that for free.
Son goes to his brother and asks if he would have sex with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, his brother said, for a million bucks? hell yeah I would have sex with him for a Mil.
Son walks back to his father and his dad asks, well son. what did you learn about perception and reality? Son says, dad the perception is we have millionaires in our family, but the reality is we have two whores and a Fig living under our roof.
Dad says go ask your mom, sister and brother if they would have sex with Brad pit for 1,000,000.00 and then come back with what you learned?
Son goes to his mom and asks her if she would have sex with Brad Pitt and after mulling the question, she said she would so your father could retire sooner because he works so hard.
Son goes to his sister and asks the same question. Sister says she absolutely would have sex with Brad Pitt for a million, because she would do that for free.
Son goes to his brother and asks if he would have sex with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, his brother said, for a million bucks? hell yeah I would have sex with him for a Mil.
Son walks back to his father and his dad asks, well son. what did you learn about perception and reality? Son says, dad the perception is we have millionaires in our family, but the reality is we have two whores and a Fig living under our roof.
Posted on 1/12/24 at 11:30 am to Minden tiger
Man comes home from work and the wife says “honey, take me somewhere I’ve never been.” Man replies, “how about the kitchen!”
Posted on 1/12/24 at 12:25 pm to Minden tiger
what do you call it when a man "finishes" inside a woman?
Loading the Dishwasher.
Loading the Dishwasher.
Posted on 1/12/24 at 12:26 pm to Minden tiger
Werner Heisenberg was cruising along the autobahn when he was pulled over by the polizei. The officer checked Werner’s driver’s license then asked, “Do you know how fast you were going?”
Heisenberg replied, “No, but I know exactly where I am.”
Heisenberg replied, “No, but I know exactly where I am.”
Posted on 1/12/24 at 12:32 pm to soccerfüt
man leaves jail for the first time in 4 years. Returns home to see his wife and son.
"it has been a long time. The darkest years of my life are behind me. I made a mistake that forced me to miss the birth of my son and lead to me being the prison bitch for several cartel members. They fed me heroin so that i would become addicted. Raped and pimped out in my cell daily to pay for the smack. those days are now behind me, finally here with you. I am finally free"
His son turns his head "so what I am four."
"it has been a long time. The darkest years of my life are behind me. I made a mistake that forced me to miss the birth of my son and lead to me being the prison bitch for several cartel members. They fed me heroin so that i would become addicted. Raped and pimped out in my cell daily to pay for the smack. those days are now behind me, finally here with you. I am finally free"
His son turns his head "so what I am four."
This post was edited on 1/12/24 at 12:33 pm
Posted on 1/12/24 at 12:47 pm to pwejr88
quote:Betrothal stiffening during show vid was sweetly weighed up and got chaste on disgraced reliance?
What rhymes with:
social distancing during Covid was completely made up and not based on science?
Posted on 1/12/24 at 12:54 pm to fr33manator
quote:
The blind man walks in,
Takes a look around and says, "Hey, nice tits. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"
Posted on 1/12/24 at 1:08 pm to Minden tiger
Whats brown and sticky?
A stick
A stick
Posted on 1/12/24 at 1:32 pm to Ryan3232
When I'm around my Mexican friends, I like to use the word "mucho".
It means a lot to them.
It means a lot to them.
Posted on 1/12/24 at 1:44 pm to Minden tiger
I believe I read this joke on here many years ago. I felt like it so perfectly encapsulated my husband engineer and his engineer buddies that I’ve always remembered it.
An engineer, a priest, and an ophthalmologist all go golfing together. They become annoyed at the man in front of them who is taking forever each hole. They finally ask someone who works there why the man is taking so long. The man says, “Oh, that’s Bob. He’s blind, so it takes him longer to finish each hole.”
The priest says, “That’s awful. I’m going to pray to God that Bob be healed.”
The ophthalmologist says, “I’m going to use my medical knowledge to see if I can heal Bob.”
The engineer says, “Why can’t Bob just play at night?”
An engineer, a priest, and an ophthalmologist all go golfing together. They become annoyed at the man in front of them who is taking forever each hole. They finally ask someone who works there why the man is taking so long. The man says, “Oh, that’s Bob. He’s blind, so it takes him longer to finish each hole.”
The priest says, “That’s awful. I’m going to pray to God that Bob be healed.”
The ophthalmologist says, “I’m going to use my medical knowledge to see if I can heal Bob.”
The engineer says, “Why can’t Bob just play at night?”
This post was edited on 1/12/24 at 1:51 pm
Posted on 1/12/24 at 1:48 pm to pelicanpride
What do Michael Jackson and clam chowder have in common?
They both come with little white crackers
They both come with little white crackers
Posted on 1/12/24 at 1:56 pm to soccerfüt
quote:
“prátaí” is Gaelic for potatoes. They still call them “praties” there in the West Country.
I don't get it. Explain? Is it part of the other joke?
~~~~~~~
Two Soviets are lying on their backs looking up at clouds.
One sees pile of potatoes.
The other sees an impossible dream.
Is same cloud.
Posted on 1/12/24 at 2:07 pm to Minden tiger
Guy goes to Alaska to get a job working on a rig. Head guys walking him around the property and tell him of a special perk they have and points to a barrel in the yard. Told him he can get a BJ by sticking willy in the hole in the barrel any day but Tuesday. He ask why not Tuesday. Head man told him that’s your day in the barrel.
Posted on 1/12/24 at 2:14 pm to Minden tiger
An Alabama fan walks into a bar with a frog on his forehead. The bartender looks at him and says, "what the hell is that"? The frog says, "I don't know...it started out as a wart on my arse"!
Posted on 1/12/24 at 2:21 pm to OhioLSUfan
quote:
What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant? Non buy diary
It’s leave!!
Make like a tree and leave!!
You idiot
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News