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Started By
Message
Californians Prepare For Hurricane By Nailing Plywood Boards Onto Their Tent Flaps
Posted on 8/18/23 at 11:01 pm
Posted on 8/18/23 at 11:01 pm
quote:
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — As Hurricane Hilary looms off the shores of the Golden State, Californians are rushing to prepare by nailing plywood boards onto their tent flaps and filling sandbags to protect their cardboard boxes.
Residents have been flocking to their local hardware stores and drug dealers to stock up on essentials, praying the category-four storm decreases in power before reaching their possibly ill-suited tarp-and-shopping-cart shanties.
"We have definitely seen an increase in customers looting plywood rather than the usual power tools," heaved one Home Depot manager while scampering around trying, unsuccessfully, to stop one of the thousands of looters. "Business sure is — huff — booming!"
San Francisco risks a unique threat due to its hilly nature. Thus, authorities have urged residents to use sandbags as a guard against potential floods of poop.
At publishing time, California Governor Gavin Newsom had passed a law requiring all outdoor retailers to stock hurricane-proof tents for looters.
Bee
22
Posted on 8/18/23 at 11:03 pm to stout
That plywood is going to fly well down those San Fran streets. Maybe clean up the place 
Posted on 8/18/23 at 11:04 pm to stout
Gavin is not going to let this crisis go to waste.
Posted on 8/18/23 at 11:08 pm to stout
Lol. The Bee.
This is believable, though.
This is believable, though.
Posted on 8/18/23 at 11:11 pm to stout
I bet this will become reality lol
Posted on 8/18/23 at 11:13 pm to stout
We all laugh at California but that cancer is spreading through the US.
Posted on 8/19/23 at 12:21 am to stout
The storm, even when it’s post tropical, will have zero effect on San Francisco. Rookies.
Posted on 8/19/23 at 12:23 am to stout
Can you imagine the looting. It will be a Democrat paradise.
Posted on 8/19/23 at 1:49 am to stout
I had a huge sigh of relief when I realized this was satire.
Posted on 8/19/23 at 4:19 am to stout
Serious question to anyone who downvoted this: why? I would honestly like to know why this is offensive to anyone. California encourages and facilates tent cities, which is ridiculous on its face but if a hurricane is coming it's both ridiculous and a life safety issue. This deserves scorn.
Posted on 8/19/23 at 4:59 am to stout
Hope their generators are not inside.
Posted on 8/19/23 at 5:49 am to LSUtoBOOT
quote:
Hope their generators are not inside.
I mean do we really??
I kid !! I Kid!!!
Posted on 8/19/23 at 5:51 am to stout
Posted on 8/19/23 at 5:57 am to Rize
ZERO effect on San Francisco.
Posted on 8/19/23 at 6:17 am to stout
Biden's America
Posted on 8/19/23 at 6:26 am to stout
Hurricane coming for SoCal
No pop up afternoon showers in the Southeast. The world is coming to an end
No pop up afternoon showers in the Southeast. The world is coming to an end
Posted on 8/19/23 at 6:26 am to CitizenK
quote:
ZERO effect on San Francisco.
Other than cleaning the place up a bit
Posted on 8/19/23 at 6:37 am to stout
Those $15k fema tents incoming.
Posted on 8/19/23 at 6:51 am to stout
If the Bee writer lived pre-1980/1990’s, everyone thought this was your savior for windows in a hurricane:
PSA: Tape doesn’t work. Wood may not work either if the storm is strong enough.
PSA: Tape doesn’t work. Wood may not work either if the storm is strong enough.
This post was edited on 8/19/23 at 6:58 am
Posted on 8/19/23 at 7:28 am to Tarps99
When we lived in Metairie prior to the Bicentennial (1976 for the less historically inclined) while evacuating from yet another hurricane, Dad explained the tape is giving up on the glass staying intact. The tape is so the cleanup of the breakage is easier by keeping the pieces together.
.
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