re: Permission to marry from future father in law, still done?

quote:

---

You never saw it in a movie or anything dude?

---

Honestly I don’t know, don’t remember a movie about it. I have a good relationship with him and wife and I been married since 1996, it’s all good. I did at one time feel bad about it though, felt more dumb about it than anything but par for the course for me

I've got 2 girls and their guys both asked me.

I asked for their blessing, not their permission....

I asked my father in law.

This is outdated nonsense. When I proposed to my wife she was a fully grown out of the house adult.

I didn't need his fricking permission, we told them together and they were happy for us.

I indeed asked permission to marry his daughter. It was kind of shitty because I had to do it over the phone because they didn't live near us. They were supposed to visit that weekend and I was going to speak with him about it but those plans got changed. I didn't want to wait until I saw them again so I just called him on the phone and had the 1hr conversation that way.

I was still really nervous though eventhough it was on the phone.

I asked her father, and could tell at the time that he really appreciated the gesture.

Now, with a daughter of my own, I get it. It’s hard to imagine ever seeing her as anything other than my baby girl. If/when she starts a family of her own, I can only hope that she does it with someone who will take care of her as well as (or better than) I did. It would be nice to know that the man in her life understands the gravity and responsibility of that commitment. Asking beforehand is a relatively small effort that goes a long way to show that you understand what that means to her father. It’s also a sign of respect.

I would add that it probably becomes more important if you’re expecting her parents to pay for the wedding.

There are definitely cases where I think it makes sense not to ask… estranged/deadbeat dad, or if you (and your future wife) know they are against it but intend to get married anyway.

I did and I’m moving in on 45 years with Mrs M.

It’s generally the right thing to do. If the father is no longer in the picture, I’d probably look to a male relative that’s assumed the responsibility of looking out for the girl and her well being.
Absent that, the mother, aunts, or pastor I guess.

Congratulations on 55 years. That’s a wonderful achievement and an example to the rest of us.

"Sir, I know I'm not the first but I would like to be her last"

quote:

---

I know this is a common trope/joke, but nothing in the universe is sadder than "Boss bitch" who doesn't settle down until 40.

---

Totally agree. I have a cousin who is the definition of that. She is now in her early 40s and is regretting the big city life she has been living because she is wanting a family and to have kids.