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re: When men worked and women took care of the family. Are we better or worse?
Posted on 5/10/23 at 2:55 pm to armsdealer
Posted on 5/10/23 at 2:55 pm to armsdealer
quote:
Boomers forget that this was NORMAL and they are the ones that essentially changed that.
How did Boomers change it?
0
Posted on 5/10/23 at 2:58 pm to Mike da Tigah
Both parents working is a net negative in my opinion. You are less involved in your children and it creates more stress to keep the home in order. I believe this is the reason that birth rates are plummeting among college educated middle and upper middle class.
Posted on 5/10/23 at 2:59 pm to Mike da Tigah
Worse. Much worse.
Posted on 5/10/23 at 3:00 pm to Mike da Tigah
Schools were much better in the old days, partly b/c women had fewer career options and many of the most talented went into education
Posted on 5/10/23 at 3:01 pm to Richard Grayson
well, for the past three years, I have worked on college application processes, two high-schooler applications (mandatory school visits, open houses, interviews, etc), I generally pay the bills, baby-sit repair people, two (used to be three) kids orthodontist appointments, Two kids doctors appointments, shuttle to and from both high schools (different parts of town) grocery shop, and get started on dinner. Today I also spent some time researching summer softball camp, paying LSU fees. Honestly with having to drive kids (no busses provided) I probably spend at least 3 hours a day in Houston traffic to/from schools alone.
This post was edited on 5/10/23 at 3:07 pm
Posted on 5/10/23 at 3:03 pm to armsdealer
quote:
am not talking highly educated people, a average Joe not qualified to go to college could provide for a family, buy a house and have money and time to take cross country vacations.
Boomers forget that this was NORMAL and they are the ones that essentially changed that.
But the houses they were buying were tiny. I grew up in the 60s and most of my friends lived in houses that were not new. Almost all of them lived in 3 bedroom houses, even if there were 4-5 kids. Bedrooms were shared by siblings. Many had only 1 bathroom and one living area. Lots of my friends families had only 1 car in the 60s. By the 70s, most had 2. You had one pair of dress shoes, one pair of tennis shoes, and maybe a pair of sandals. You had maybe 2 nice outfits for church.
I didn't know anyone taking cross country vacations then. Families were very frugal with their money. They saved. They didn't have many luxuries and mostly just basic necessities. They had 1 TV and 1 telephone. Life in general was a LOT different. Lots of folks could have a stay at home parent if people were willing to live like they did in 1955. They just aren't willing to do that anymore.
Posted on 5/10/23 at 3:08 pm to TigerBaitOohHaHa
quote:
quote:
The problem isn’t that two incomes are needed. The problem is that we want so much more stuff. Houses are twice the size. Every kid has his own bedroom. Cell phones for elementary school kids. Kids playing expensive sports. Much nicer vehicles.
If people were willing to live like it was in the 1950s and 1960s then they could live on one income.
Also, government interference to make college “affordable” has in resulted in college costs increasing way higher than the inflation rate.
WINNER WINNER Chicken dinner.
I hear ya'll but it's quite a bit different all the same.
The era where dad could sell widgets or be assistant manager at the local hardware store or be a shift manager at the bottling plant and mom could raise kids in a nice middle class area are long gone.
I agree, everything is "more" now. Bigger scope, more luxurious, more expensive, etc. Genuinely middle class families are buying 80k Tahoes and regular people are having 50k weddings. Wives whose husbands make 50k a year are walking around with 1500 bags. And so on and so forth.
But the result of this general "upgrade" in materialism is that there aren't a lot of simple, wholesome places to live on the cheap that don't come with the associated problems of bad schools, neighborhoods, drugs, etc. Or to the extent there are, they're in places where a lot of people can't easily find the work they're trained to do.
This came up in the housing thread. We sometimes act like in every middle class area you can just lower your expectations and go opt for the less expensive neighborhood with the minimal niceties and the fabricated hardwoods/countertops. But the reality is those options are in short supply, and have often been taken over by contingents that have real impacts on communities - bad schools, safety issues, etc.
Posted on 5/10/23 at 3:38 pm to Brotorious
quote:
My wife and I both work. It’s a great life. However, the cost of this life is paid in “missed moments.” I ask myself everyday if the cost is too great. it is! We’re never getting these moments back. My hope is that by us sacrificing our moments with our kids. That will enable our kids to not sacrifice as many missed moments with their kids. That is my hope. It does make us hold on to those moments together when everything is right with us.
As a working mom whose kids are grown and on their own, I've always known this is the true cost. My kids and generally all kids are not worse off for being in day care, having a working mom, etc. My hubs and I were the ones who suffered. He did so much around the house because I was in a pretty big job and earned more. We both were constantly tired, overworked, never felt we had enough time for anything. We also tended to miss some of our kids big moments although we never missed a game, show, etc. and it was a struggle not to. I would go to my son's 8th grade game at 6pm and then work at home for 2-3 hours at 9 at night. We were frazzled. But truly...our kids were just fine.
Posted on 5/10/23 at 4:01 pm to TigerBaitOohHaHa
quote:
I gotta say, my marriage is a lot different than yours. If an activity has to do with the house, food, or the kids (all sports volunteering included) its 100% on me. I'm up at 5:30 most weekend mornings to hall arse out to some random arse baseball tourney in BFE, get home-make dinner. I even prune the trees (took down a big bougainvillea last weekend) changed the air filters in the attic, fixed the leak in the fridge. Hubs works at the office and pays to have the lawn mowed. That sort of counts for something I guess.
I'm so happy for you that you have been able to have the life you really want. I think the point for me is that we should all be able to choose the life we want. I would have been absolutely miserable doing what you do. I was never very domestic or interested in learning any of that stuff. When I was even a teen in the 70s, I wanted a great job so that I wouldn't have to do that stuff.
I think you'd agree with me that the best thing is that women do get to choose what we do now. I'm sure I'd have been drunk or high if I'd had the life of a 1955 housewife. (and I'm not saying your life is nearly the same as 1955!)
Posted on 5/10/23 at 5:28 pm to LaLadyinTx
Grew with both parents working.... I would rather work 2 jobs if needed and keep my wife at home than have her work.
Posted on 5/10/23 at 5:38 pm to dakarx
People can outspend your ability to earn, no matter what you earn.
Posted on 5/10/23 at 6:01 pm to Mike da Tigah
Fun Bunch said this is the greatest time to be alive!
Posted on 5/10/23 at 6:02 pm to Mike da Tigah
I grew up with a stay at home mom and working dad. I know it was better for me.
Posted on 5/10/23 at 6:35 pm to imjustafatkid
quote:
It still is normal. This is absolutely still possible.
It is still possible. I'm doing it.
All it means is used cars and scaled back vacations.
Posted on 5/10/23 at 8:23 pm to Mr Bumpy
What a fricking quote there
Posted on 5/10/23 at 8:23 pm to AwgustaDawg
quote:
Materialism has existed for a long but easy credit with terms that would make Tony Soprano blush with the state acting as muscle has destroyed the middle class.
True but as middle-class incomes increased in the 90s and early 2000s, materialism ratcheted up. I'm late 50s, when I was growing up, middle-class families didn't have much disposable income, we had what we needed but not much extra. All my friend's families were in that exact situation. We were happy, but we didn't have much, but there wasn't much to want other than cars or clothes.
The middle class now is stronger than ever, but I can see that crashing down over that next decade.
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