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re: When men worked and women took care of the family. Are we better or worse?

Posted on 5/10/23 at 11:13 am to
Posted by inspectweld
Member since Feb 2021
665 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 11:13 am to
When the government sold us out and the average price of automobiles went up sharply after the 1979 bailouts of the auto industry, things changed.

From 1970 $3,450.00 to 1990 $16,950.00.



1930 $600.00
1940 $850.00
1950 $1,510.00
1960 $2,600.00
1970 $3,450.00
1980 $7,200.00
1990 $16,950.00
2000 $21,850
2008 $27,958
2013 $31,352
2018 $35,742
2021 Forcast increase 5.4%
Posted by Kadjin
edge of the basin
Member since Oct 2013
1253 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 11:16 am to
quote:

Almost none of my friends moms worked when I was growing up. I didn't know anyone that went to daycare/after school care


I’m 3 years older than you, not only did after school care not exist, my elementary school didn’t have a car rider line. Every single student rode the bus. I knew 2 kids who’s mom worked and 1 was a school bus driver for the school.
Posted by StringedInstruments
Member since Oct 2013
18554 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 12:10 pm to
Worse. Way worse. I hate that my wife works. I think it’s problematic that we’ve built a society on building wealth and partaking in the American capitalist machine at all costs.

Things are so expensive that my wife has had to work to help us keep up with the standard of living we expect to have. Me being a teacher doesn’t help. But even if I wasn’t a teacher, there are only a few specialized positions that guarantee enough income to have a single parent household unless you move to the sticks or live in a substandard school system.
Posted by Dawgfanman
Member since Jun 2015
22789 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 12:13 pm to
quote:

Another issue besides that is many cases, even when both parents are working, raising kids/taking care of the household still falls on the woman. It's up to men to step up and to do their duties in taking care of the kids, everything does not fall solely on the woman. There's too many men out here who think their job is done as a man/father because they went to work today.


This is horseshite. Men in relationships generally take care of all home repairs/maintenance, yard work, and car maintenance. They generally do some level of housework as well, dishes/trash/laundry and maybe some cooking (grilling etc). They also help with kids. Their wives often whine they get no help, but they have never cut a blade of grass or repaired a thing on the home. Ask me how I know?
Posted by Dawgfanman
Member since Jun 2015
22789 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 12:16 pm to
quote:

Both of us working has allowed us to do many of the things that the rest of my family could not achieve following the stay at home mom model. Our marriage is as solid as theirs but their kids did not go to college or have access to the type of support we were able to provide. But I love my nieces and nephews and they all turned out great in their own ways. So I just think that no matter the economic situation, as long as parents love and nurture and don't ignore their kids, it does not matter in the end. Everyone should do what they have to do to achieve the goal of raising kids to be respectful, and guided by faith in Jesus, they will be fine.


I will simply say them having stay at home moms isn’t why their kids didn’t go to college, you can have both and not be rich. Otherwise I completely agree and know many families with good kids where both parents worked. All depends on what you want and adjusting to meet those goals for your situation.
Posted by TejasHorn
High Plains Driftin'
Member since Mar 2007
11034 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 12:17 pm to
Plenty of women would love to be stay at home and not work (men too, actually).

But most families can’t keep up with the Joneses on one income.
Posted by StringedInstruments
Member since Oct 2013
18554 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 12:18 pm to
quote:

Another issue besides that is many cases, even when both parents are working, raising kids/taking care of the household still falls on the woman. It's up to men to step up and to do their duties in taking care of the kids, everything does not fall solely on the woman. There's too many men out here who think their job is done as a man/father because they went to work today.


Are you a woman? Are you going to lecture us about mental load as well?

I’m not saying that some women don’t have to babysit their man-child of a husband, but it’s definitely a social media/message board trend to lambast men for not doing enough “woman’s” work around the house.

As mentioned, men often provide the income, do the heavy lifting, yard work, bills, budgeting, handy man work, play with the kids, plan dates/outings, and volunteer for or support their kids’ sports. It’s also pretty common for men to cook nowadays.

But they don’t come home wanting to take over the entire house and kids to give mommy a break, so they suck and don’t pull their weight. Come the frick on.
Posted by GeauxTigers123
Member since Feb 2007
1424 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 12:20 pm to
I think we were better off in the old ways. I realize it isn't realistic for a lot of folks given the cost of things now a days, but I think we were better.

I will say a lot of guys who have wives that work get very defensive about this topic.
Posted by FinleyStreet
Member since Aug 2011
7909 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 12:32 pm to
I think the point is that pretty much every study points to the fact that women still do more domestic labor than men, even in two-income households.
Posted by MBclass83
Member since Oct 2010
9442 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 1:04 pm to
Worse. Women working meant here comes fast food.
Posted by Epic Cajun
Lafayette, LA
Member since Feb 2013
32918 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 1:29 pm to
quote:

I think the point is that pretty much every study points to the fact that women still do more domestic labor than men, even in two-income households.

And they bring in less income
Posted by Rhino5
Atlanta
Member since Nov 2014
28908 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 1:42 pm to
It was better when a man could go to work and provide a decent days work to support his family, while the woman raised the house.

Prices are so high now that both have to work.
Posted by StringedInstruments
Member since Oct 2013
18554 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 2:11 pm to
quote:

I think the point is that pretty much every study points to the fact that women still do more domestic labor than men, even in two-income households.


Link one. Or two or three.

I bet they overemphasized traditionally female related jobs in the home.

Not to mention, doesn’t it reinforce the notion that women should be in the home and men working/providing if women are more regularly delegated to the kids and domestic household duties?
Posted by pdubya76
Sw Ms
Member since Mar 2012
5983 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 2:37 pm to
That’s how it is at our house now. I work and my wife homeschools the kids. We enjoy vacations when we want instead of just summer like everyone else. Lots of freedom and the kids are getting a good education.
Posted by TigerBaitOohHaHa
Member since Jan 2023
541 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 2:40 pm to
As a stay at home mom, I can tell you that I feel an enormous amount of pressure from peers and family members to continue my career outside the home. It makes me feel super guilty and like a bit of a leech at times, that I've chosen not to go back to work.

I HOPE, that my kids will be glad for it when they are grown. I loved almost every minute of the time I spent with them. I'd like to think it provided a positive upbringing for them. I don't think as a society we will ever go back to two parent households (one stays home) as the norm. Which is unfortunate as it is the single biggest predictor of future success of a child.

A slightly different take on the same subject. I think feminism had a massive unintended consequence. "Women, You can have it all" became "Women, you must do it all, career and kids and single parenting". Its too much. and the messaging around "girls, own your sexuality" somehow morphed into "girls, have meaningless sex as much as possible"



Posted by Richard Grayson
Bestbank
Member since Sep 2022
2149 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 2:42 pm to
What do you do for the 7/8 hours a day the kids are at school?
Posted by TigerBaitOohHaHa
Member since Jan 2023
541 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 2:48 pm to
I gotta say, my marriage is a lot different than yours. If an activity has to do with the house, food, or the kids (all sports volunteering included) its 100% on me. I'm up at 5:30 most weekend mornings to hall arse out to some random arse baseball tourney in BFE, get home-make dinner. I even prune the trees (took down a big bougainvillea last weekend) changed the air filters in the attic, fixed the leak in the fridge. Hubs works at the office and pays to have the lawn mowed. That sort of counts for something I guess.
Posted by TigerBaitOohHaHa
Member since Jan 2023
541 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 2:50 pm to
Its nice to hear someone say that.
Posted by TigerBaitOohHaHa
Member since Jan 2023
541 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 2:54 pm to
quote:

The problem isn’t that two incomes are needed. The problem is that we want so much more stuff. Houses are twice the size. Every kid has his own bedroom. Cell phones for elementary school kids. Kids playing expensive sports. Much nicer vehicles.

If people were willing to live like it was in the 1950s and 1960s then they could live on one income.

Also, government interference to make college “affordable” has in resulted in college costs increasing way higher than the inflation rate.


WINNER WINNER Chicken dinner.
Posted by imjustafatkid
Alabama
Member since Dec 2011
51100 posts
Posted on 5/10/23 at 2:55 pm to
quote:

Boomers forget that this was NORMAL and they are the ones that essentially changed that.


It still is normal. This is absolutely still possible.

It isn't possible working what equates to one entry level position at McDonald's, and never has been.
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