Pels vs Nets: Murder We Wrote

SONS,

THE NBA IS AFRAID OF YOUR NEW ORLEANS PELICANS. WHEN AD WALKS IN WITH A TURTLE NECK INTO OPPOSING ARENAS GROWN MEN OPENLY WEEP, FOR THEY KNOW OF THE IMPENDING arse frickING THEY ARE ABOUT TO RECEIVE.

FROM THY BOUNTY OF DAVID GRIFFIN DRAFTS AND TRADES, THE PELS ARE STACKED AS frick.

BEFORE I CONTINUE, REMEMBER THOSE THAT FEAR THE CAPS SIMPLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE CAPS



BRANDON INGRAM IS THE UNDISPUTED LEADER OF THIS TEAM. HIS COMMITMENT TO EXCELLENCE WILL BE CARVED INTO THE WALLS OF ST. PATRICKS NEXT TO SOME JESUS shite PROBABLY. THAT FRO IS GETTING HIM AN EXTRA 5 PPG ALONE.

ZION. ZION. ZION. ZION. ZION MY MOTHERfrickING FRIEND I WANT YOU TO BREAK EVERY frickING RIM IN EVERY ARENA YOU ENTER, EXCEPT OURS, WE BROKE AF IN NEW ORLEANS (frick YOU TEEDY). NEVER FORGET WE THE SONS ARE 1000% BEHIND YOU, AS IT IS FORTOLD AND HAS BEEN SAID, ZION IS INEVITABLE, YOU CAN RUN FROM IT, YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM IT, YOU WILL ARRIVE ALL THE SAME.

HERB YOU MY MAN ARE BASKETBALL PERSONIFIED. THE DEAD SCREEN FROM GTA COMES TO MIND EVERYTIME YOU BLOCK A 3 AND GET A STEAL. THE SONS ARE HONORED TO HAVE YOU SEATED AT OUR TABLE.

JONAS, YOU DO ALL THE DIRTY WORK AND DON'T GET ENOUGH OF THE CREDIT. I frickING TURN AWAY FROM THE STATS FOR 2 SECONDS AND YOUVE GRABBED 12 BOARDS IN 3 QUARTERS. WE SEE YOU NOW FELLOW PELICAN.

CJ. MY GUY. WHY HASNT ELMERS CONTACTED YOU YET? YOU ARE THE ADHESIVE THIS TEAM HAS BEEN NEEDING FOR A frickING DECADE. EVEN BETTER THAN PEL4LYFE JRUE HOLIDAY.

JOSE! JOSE JOSE JOSE! JOSE! JOSE! I'VE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE JUST BLOW UP A frickING PLAN LIKE YOU HAVE WITH OUR ROTATION. YOU DEMAND MINUTES. YOU GIVE 110% EVERYfrickING SECOND ON THE COURT AND WE ALL frickING LOVE IT.

TRIGGA, AKA BABYFACE AKA LONG RANGE KILLA, I'M NOT EVEN SAYING ANYTHING. WE ALREADY KNOW.

WE PLAY THESE DUMB frickS TONIGHT



AND I FOUND SOMEONE TO HELP US KNOCK OUT MR. TWITTER HANDLES AND FLAT EARTH



BLOOD ON OUR WINGS

PELS W
ZIONS FIRST VICTIM L