Has marriage counseling ever worked?

Yes, it can work* if you have a moderately decent counselor and if both parties want to be there. It's unnerving and exposing, for sure.

It's only as good as the parties involved and their interest in going.

I hate to be the one to bring it up but it sounds like she might be cheating on you. Sorry, baw. Chin up.

It worked for Obummer after he found out he was married to a man.

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Has marriage counseling ever worked?

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Yes, but only if both people are committed to truly hearing and listening to what the other person has to say.

If you go into it trying to convince, persuade, or manipulate the other person because you think they are the issue, it won't work, and vice versa.

I would suggest before going to couples counseling, go see a counselor on your own for a short while. Work on yourself first, and then work on your marriage, because 50 % in a relationship will never equal 100 %.

If you work on yourself --- and even if your marriage does not get restored, you will be a better person for yourself, your children, and everyone you come in contact with --- even your next relationship.

Lastly, if you make it to marriage counseling, ask your spouse for 2 or 3 names of a counselor that they would like to see, and you do the same. Then you can meet a couple that you mutually agreed upon, and proceed with the one that you both believe is the best fit for your situation. Simple steps, baby steps ... and this allows for both of your opinions to feel heard, valued, and respected.

It didn't work for me.

A total waste of time and money.

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No, not being asked to go genuinely curious

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Even if you have a great marriage, going to a marriage counselor or an individual counselor is still a great idea. An unbiased person, a knowledge expert in their field providing you with a different perspective can never hurt.

I was guilty of only seeing things from my perspective. I thought I saw it from my former wife's perspective, but I didn't. I'm not getting a re-do as I exhausted all my re-dos even when I didn't know if was I using them all up. Simply put, I wasn't ready to acknowledge my own shortcomings until I was ready to acknowledge my own shortcomings.

It's a tough lesson to learn. Two children now splitting time between their mom and dad's house. I never thought I would be a person who would be divorced --- I always swore against it, yet here I am. I've realized that no matter how much I was against it if the other person doesn't want to stay in it, they have just as much of a right to their belief as I do.

I may not agree with their decision, but I do my best to try and respect it. I personally think it's taking the easy way out, but she felt and feels differently, so I just leave it be.

Yes, as long as both are receptive and seeking forgiveness and reconciliation in whatever they are going through.

It take three people to make marriage counseling work. It only takes one person to ruin that for everyone.

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You go together for awhile so they can get to understand the dynamics of your relationship. After several visits, it's good to each go alone so you can get the truth.

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A good marriage counselor/therapist will periodically do individual sessions (or half of a session) to get individual perspectives when the partner isn’t in the room.

For OP, it works for some and not for others. Really depends on the issues at hand, whether both people want to be there (IMO this is the biggest hurdle and most common reason for failure), and whether you want to do the work outside of the session to make the relationship work.

The only counselor a real man uses is named Jack Daniels