re: Crackpot ASOIAF Theories SPOILERS

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I think they got Rickard's trial wrong.

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The sunset sent rivulets of blood streaking across a goldenrod sky as he stepped out of his van at the local grocer's, an old shipping warehouse refitted some decades back. He could feel the heat shimmering off the black asphalt parking lot, making his soles uncomfortably warm. "Sho is hot today.", he said to no one in particular, "well, better get a move on, supper won't cook itself, no no no."

The cold blast of the chilled air was a soothing blanket as he walked in those sliding automatic doors, as if The Lord himself had opened them. "Thank ya kindly," beejon spoke with a slight upturn of his neck and his eyes towards the ceiling, then grabbed a buggy and began to make groceries.

Carrots, bellpeppers, onions, collard greens...beejon inspected each one with a tender hand, humming and muttering to himself all the while, turning them over, looking for bruises and dark spots. "Corruption in is a terrible sin," he quipped. The lady next to him gave him a queer look and stepped back to her buggy, but he paid her no mind, it was squash squeezing time.

When he got to the tomatoes, a hair raised on his neck, bristling...he began to sense an uncomfortable warmth spreading across his back. His smile faded in a blink, and his eyes focused in consternation as he slowly turned around. No longer was the store filled with just shoppers. Where once there were fresh bread and pastries now stood dark figures, shades given terrible form, as if shadows were engulfed in black fire. In guttural, inhuman tones a voice like thunder rolled from the things snarling lips.

"I have come for you, seer...the master bids you see true power, so you may quiver as your precious faith fails you..." Beejon's eyes were steely as his neck craned to meet the gaze of the beast. "Tell your master I am ready," he hissed, "a power greater than his flows through these veins."

Reaching into his buggy he selected a carrot and a stalk of celery, and holding them crossed in front of himself he uttered a prayer. The shade grimaced and growled at the words, and all of a sudden it was not produce in his hands, but flaming swords of holy fire. In response the beast opened his claws and a whip of black flame appeared. His dark minions skittered and surrounded beejon, cackling and hissing. The smells of brimstone and burnt flesh filled his nostrils.

Then they attacked...

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began to make groceries.

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They burn his body and he rises unburnt.

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