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Message
Unwanted Sexual Advance - Please Define and/or Explain
Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:47 am
Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:47 am
OK, so, what is an unwanted sexual advance?
So, a guy tells a lady she looks nice or he'd like to do the deal, is that it? So if she agrees it's OK? If not, she runs to the media?
I am confused.
Glad my wife finally gave in after I chased her for a year.
In today's world, do men have to wait around until a female approaches him and says "well, I think it would be OK for you to ask me out?"
I really am confused on how you youngsters are going to avoid being labeled somehow.
So, a guy tells a lady she looks nice or he'd like to do the deal, is that it? So if she agrees it's OK? If not, she runs to the media?
I am confused.
Glad my wife finally gave in after I chased her for a year.
In today's world, do men have to wait around until a female approaches him and says "well, I think it would be OK for you to ask me out?"
I really am confused on how you youngsters are going to avoid being labeled somehow.
This post was edited on 11/21/17 at 10:49 am
19
Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:48 am to FreeState
Chick thinks you're good looking or rich - not harassment.
Chick thinks you're ugly or poor - you're screwed.
Chick thinks you're ugly or poor - you're screwed.
Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:49 am to FreeState
quote:
Unwanted Sexual Advance - Please Define and/or Explain
quote:
So, a guy tells a lady she looks nice or he'd like to do the deal, is that it?
nailed it. now let's put this topic to rest.
Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:53 am to FreeState
Are you that socially incompetent to not know the answer to this?
Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:55 am to FreeState
quote:
So, a guy tells a lady she looks nice
That's sexual harassment
quote:
or he'd like to do the deal
That's rape. Not rape rape, but go to the media rape
quote:
So if she agrees it's OK?
It's still rape if she decides later on that it he wasn't hot enough or successful enough
quote:
If not, she runs to the media?
I think you've got a pretty strong understanding.
quote:
Glad my wife finally gave in after I chased her for a year.
I'd say you aren't out of the woods yet. She could decided that you've been raping her since you've met. It's real.
Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:55 am to 4cubbies
Women complain there are no good men.
When a good man asks them out, they are offended or feel harassed.
When a good man asks them out, they are offended or feel harassed.
Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:58 am to FreeState
An unwanted sexual advance is any compliment or "pass" made by a man she does not want to bang.
Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:58 am to FreeState
Its not sexual harassment unless you are rich and not until to you dump them, then it becomes sexual harassment. If you don't have money, you have nothing to worry about.
Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:59 am to FreeState
One of about four things.
1. Overly aggressive / offensive
2. Incompatible orientation
3. They are attached
4. Pursuer is ugly
1. Overly aggressive / offensive
2. Incompatible orientation
3. They are attached
4. Pursuer is ugly
Posted on 11/21/17 at 11:02 am to FreeState
If you grab her pussy and say "Covfefe".
Posted on 11/21/17 at 11:14 am to FreeState
quote:I think almost everyone can agree this thing has gotten way out of hand. But as someone who's had to live in a relatively more restrictive work environment--start with the fact that it's about 80-95% male and there isn't going to be an abundance of attractive, available, sane women most anywhere you're assigned in DoD, and add to that the fact that there are a bunch of rules to navigate about who can date whom according to rank, position, type of command relationship etc--and you come up with one simple solution:
OK, so, what is an unwanted sexual advance? So, a guy tells a lady she looks nice or he'd like to do the deal, is that it? So if she agrees it's OK? If not, she runs to the media? I am confused. Glad my wife finally gave in after I chased her for a year. In today's world, do men have to wait around until a female approaches him and says "well, I think it would be OK for you to ask me out?" I really am confused on how you youngsters are going to avoid being labeled somehow.
Don't screw around in the workplace.
Even when it's 100% legal, consensual, and accepted by your office and colleagues, there's still a good chance that mixing your work life and your romantic life is eventually going to hit some snags. Of course men and women tend to glom to people with similar backgrounds, interests, and careers, which makes the office an ideal place to meet a mate on your level. But the risks involved aren't worth it. I've seen it go bad more than the other way around. And that makes sense when you consider the fact that the overwhelming majority of relationships don't end in marriage unto death. So at some point, odds are your workplace relationship is going to break down, and when it does it can go nuclear (at home and at work) in pretty short order.
So if you're looking for somewhere to plant your wang, just don't do it at the place you clock in. Even then, if you must, don't do it with a subordinate or anyone you're in a position to help or hurt.
Posted on 11/21/17 at 11:40 am to FreeState
I don't think it's ever a problem to ask a woman if she wants to: 1) get a drink / go out to eat / go to an event. (*as long as you know she's not in a relationship, or if you're good enough friends that asking her to go would not be construed as anything but as a friend.)
If she says no, accept it without insult, and don't bother trying to justify to her why you thought it would be a good idea (which shows your own discomfort at the rejection). Just say something along the lines of "no problem" or "if you change your mind, let me know", then pivot to another topic or to what you're leaving to do now if context suggests you should leave. Ex: After she says no to dinner, you might reply, "It's cool. I'm gonna step out and get a bite for lunch while I can. If you need any help with your project, feel free to give me a ring. See you later/tomorrow."
As long as you're not too awkward in rejection, she's not likely to feed on your awkwardness and feed badly about it... which in hindsight will make the situation look worse to her than what it was.
Obviously, if you ask a woman something more sexually suggestive than dinner/drinks, then you should know your audience because that can easily be construed into something negative.
Regarding compliments, it shouldn't be a problem to say something like, "that's a really pretty dress / shoes" or comment that something she has is cool in some way or another as long as you're not being lechy. Women generally appreciate those kinds of compliments, and they might implicity understand that you're saying they look good, but you're being respectful and not objectifying them directly. You risk crossing the comfort line if you say "YOU look good." Again, if you know your audience, saying this might not be a problem either, but in my mind, that's where it might turn gray.
TLDR summary:
1) If you're lechy, they'll perceive it and better to keep your mouth shut.
2) If you can compliment them without shining the light directly on them, almost always okay. (barring someone who is outright crazy)
3) If you can take rejection and be cool about it, she will feel less bad about it too.
If she says no, accept it without insult, and don't bother trying to justify to her why you thought it would be a good idea (which shows your own discomfort at the rejection). Just say something along the lines of "no problem" or "if you change your mind, let me know", then pivot to another topic or to what you're leaving to do now if context suggests you should leave. Ex: After she says no to dinner, you might reply, "It's cool. I'm gonna step out and get a bite for lunch while I can. If you need any help with your project, feel free to give me a ring. See you later/tomorrow."
As long as you're not too awkward in rejection, she's not likely to feed on your awkwardness and feed badly about it... which in hindsight will make the situation look worse to her than what it was.
Obviously, if you ask a woman something more sexually suggestive than dinner/drinks, then you should know your audience because that can easily be construed into something negative.
Regarding compliments, it shouldn't be a problem to say something like, "that's a really pretty dress / shoes" or comment that something she has is cool in some way or another as long as you're not being lechy. Women generally appreciate those kinds of compliments, and they might implicity understand that you're saying they look good, but you're being respectful and not objectifying them directly. You risk crossing the comfort line if you say "YOU look good." Again, if you know your audience, saying this might not be a problem either, but in my mind, that's where it might turn gray.
TLDR summary:
1) If you're lechy, they'll perceive it and better to keep your mouth shut.
2) If you can compliment them without shining the light directly on them, almost always okay. (barring someone who is outright crazy)
3) If you can take rejection and be cool about it, she will feel less bad about it too.
Posted on 11/21/17 at 11:46 am to boogiewoogie1978
quote:
Women complain there are no good men.
When a good man asks them out, they are offended or feel harassed.
One downvote?
You must be one of the harassers.
Posted on 11/21/17 at 1:02 pm to TigerFanatic99
quote:
So, a guy tells a lady she looks nice
That's sexual harassment
quote:
or he'd like to do the deal
That's rape. Not rape rape, but go to the media rape
quote:
So if she agrees it's OK?
It's still rape if she decides later on that it he wasn't hot enough or successful enough
quote:
If not, she runs to the media?
I think you've got a pretty strong understanding.
quote:
Glad my wife finally gave in after I chased her for a year.
I'd say you aren't out of the woods yet. She could decided that you've been raping her since you've met. It's real.
Lol, great post.
Posted on 11/21/17 at 1:04 pm to FreeState
If you wink at a girl and she doesn’t find you attractive that is equal to forcible rape.
Posted on 11/21/17 at 1:05 pm to Navytiger74
quote:
Navytiger74
TL;DR: don't shite where you eat
Posted on 11/21/17 at 1:06 pm to epbart
quote:
You risk crossing the comfort line if you say "YOU look good."
Posted on 11/21/17 at 1:08 pm to FreeState
Times have changed my friend. Doubt the ladies are going to like it much.
Take me for example:
My old car
My new car
Take me for example:
My old car
My new car
Posted on 11/21/17 at 1:08 pm to HempHead
quote:
TL;DR: don't shite where you eat
Yes. Sorry. You said it better. And it's not that complicated. Whining and handwringing isn't going to change a damned thing for these guys.
If you can't find a girl to bang or date outside of the office, get a bottle of lotion for the sex and a dog for the company.
Posted on 11/21/17 at 1:08 pm to goatmilker
Good Lord those double-stack GTOs were a thing of beauty.
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