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Unwanted Sexual Advance - Please Define and/or Explain

Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:47 am
Posted by FreeState
Member since Jun 2012
3177 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:47 am
OK, so, what is an unwanted sexual advance?

So, a guy tells a lady she looks nice or he'd like to do the deal, is that it? So if she agrees it's OK? If not, she runs to the media?

I am confused.

Glad my wife finally gave in after I chased her for a year.

In today's world, do men have to wait around until a female approaches him and says "well, I think it would be OK for you to ask me out?"

I really am confused on how you youngsters are going to avoid being labeled somehow.


This post was edited on 11/21/17 at 10:49 am
Posted by Crimson Wraith
Member since Jan 2014
24795 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:48 am to
Chick thinks you're good looking or rich - not harassment.

Chick thinks you're ugly or poor - you're screwed.
Posted by 4cubbies
Member since Sep 2008
50182 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:49 am to
quote:

Unwanted Sexual Advance - Please Define and/or Explain



quote:

So, a guy tells a lady she looks nice or he'd like to do the deal, is that it?


nailed it. now let's put this topic to rest.
Posted by The Spleen
Member since Dec 2010
38865 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:53 am to
Are you that socially incompetent to not know the answer to this?
Posted by TigerFanatic99
South Bend, Indiana
Member since Jan 2007
27611 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:55 am to
quote:

So, a guy tells a lady she looks nice


That's sexual harassment

quote:

or he'd like to do the deal


That's rape. Not rape rape, but go to the media rape

quote:

So if she agrees it's OK?


It's still rape if she decides later on that it he wasn't hot enough or successful enough

quote:

If not, she runs to the media?


I think you've got a pretty strong understanding.

quote:


Glad my wife finally gave in after I chased her for a year.


I'd say you aren't out of the woods yet. She could decided that you've been raping her since you've met. It's real.
Posted by boogiewoogie1978
Little Rock
Member since Aug 2012
16989 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:55 am to
Women complain there are no good men.
When a good man asks them out, they are offended or feel harassed.

Posted by Numberwang
Bike City, USA
Member since Feb 2012
13163 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:58 am to
An unwanted sexual advance is any compliment or "pass" made by a man she does not want to bang.

Posted by JCdawg
Member since Sep 2014
7819 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:58 am to
Its not sexual harassment unless you are rich and not until to you dump them, then it becomes sexual harassment. If you don't have money, you have nothing to worry about.
Posted by teke184
Zachary, LA
Member since Jan 2007
95754 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 10:59 am to
One of about four things.

1. Overly aggressive / offensive
2. Incompatible orientation
3. They are attached
4. Pursuer is ugly
Posted by Zach
Gizmonic Institute
Member since May 2005
112499 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 11:02 am to
If you grab her pussy and say "Covfefe".
Posted by Navytiger74
Member since Oct 2009
50458 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 11:14 am to
quote:

OK, so, what is an unwanted sexual advance? So, a guy tells a lady she looks nice or he'd like to do the deal, is that it? So if she agrees it's OK? If not, she runs to the media? I am confused. Glad my wife finally gave in after I chased her for a year. In today's world, do men have to wait around until a female approaches him and says "well, I think it would be OK for you to ask me out?" I really am confused on how you youngsters are going to avoid being labeled somehow.
I think almost everyone can agree this thing has gotten way out of hand. But as someone who's had to live in a relatively more restrictive work environment--start with the fact that it's about 80-95% male and there isn't going to be an abundance of attractive, available, sane women most anywhere you're assigned in DoD, and add to that the fact that there are a bunch of rules to navigate about who can date whom according to rank, position, type of command relationship etc--and you come up with one simple solution:

Don't screw around in the workplace.

Even when it's 100% legal, consensual, and accepted by your office and colleagues, there's still a good chance that mixing your work life and your romantic life is eventually going to hit some snags. Of course men and women tend to glom to people with similar backgrounds, interests, and careers, which makes the office an ideal place to meet a mate on your level. But the risks involved aren't worth it. I've seen it go bad more than the other way around. And that makes sense when you consider the fact that the overwhelming majority of relationships don't end in marriage unto death. So at some point, odds are your workplace relationship is going to break down, and when it does it can go nuclear (at home and at work) in pretty short order.

So if you're looking for somewhere to plant your wang, just don't do it at the place you clock in. Even then, if you must, don't do it with a subordinate or anyone you're in a position to help or hurt.
Posted by epbart
new york city
Member since Mar 2005
2926 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 11:40 am to
I don't think it's ever a problem to ask a woman if she wants to: 1) get a drink / go out to eat / go to an event. (*as long as you know she's not in a relationship, or if you're good enough friends that asking her to go would not be construed as anything but as a friend.)

If she says no, accept it without insult, and don't bother trying to justify to her why you thought it would be a good idea (which shows your own discomfort at the rejection). Just say something along the lines of "no problem" or "if you change your mind, let me know", then pivot to another topic or to what you're leaving to do now if context suggests you should leave. Ex: After she says no to dinner, you might reply, "It's cool. I'm gonna step out and get a bite for lunch while I can. If you need any help with your project, feel free to give me a ring. See you later/tomorrow."

As long as you're not too awkward in rejection, she's not likely to feed on your awkwardness and feed badly about it... which in hindsight will make the situation look worse to her than what it was.

Obviously, if you ask a woman something more sexually suggestive than dinner/drinks, then you should know your audience because that can easily be construed into something negative.

Regarding compliments, it shouldn't be a problem to say something like, "that's a really pretty dress / shoes" or comment that something she has is cool in some way or another as long as you're not being lechy. Women generally appreciate those kinds of compliments, and they might implicity understand that you're saying they look good, but you're being respectful and not objectifying them directly. You risk crossing the comfort line if you say "YOU look good." Again, if you know your audience, saying this might not be a problem either, but in my mind, that's where it might turn gray.

TLDR summary:
1) If you're lechy, they'll perceive it and better to keep your mouth shut.
2) If you can compliment them without shining the light directly on them, almost always okay. (barring someone who is outright crazy)
3) If you can take rejection and be cool about it, she will feel less bad about it too.

Posted by boogiewoogie1978
Little Rock
Member since Aug 2012
16989 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 11:46 am to
quote:

Women complain there are no good men.
When a good man asks them out, they are offended or feel harassed.


One downvote?

You must be one of the harassers.
Posted by Dead End
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2013
21237 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 1:02 pm to
quote:

So, a guy tells a lady she looks nice


That's sexual harassment

quote:
or he'd like to do the deal


That's rape. Not rape rape, but go to the media rape

quote:
So if she agrees it's OK?


It's still rape if she decides later on that it he wasn't hot enough or successful enough

quote:
If not, she runs to the media?


I think you've got a pretty strong understanding.

quote:

Glad my wife finally gave in after I chased her for a year.


I'd say you aren't out of the woods yet. She could decided that you've been raping her since you've met. It's real.



Lol, great post.
Posted by GeauxxxTigers23
TeamBunt General Manager
Member since Apr 2013
62514 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 1:04 pm to
If you wink at a girl and she doesn’t find you attractive that is equal to forcible rape.
Posted by HempHead
Big Sky Country
Member since Mar 2011
55496 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 1:05 pm to
quote:

Navytiger74



TL;DR: don't shite where you eat
Posted by HempHead
Big Sky Country
Member since Mar 2011
55496 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 1:06 pm to
quote:

You risk crossing the comfort line if you say "YOU look good."


Posted by goatmilker
Castle Anthrax
Member since Feb 2009
64379 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 1:08 pm to
Times have changed my friend. Doubt the ladies are going to like it much.

Take me for example:




My old car




My new car



Posted by Navytiger74
Member since Oct 2009
50458 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 1:08 pm to
quote:

TL;DR: don't shite where you eat


Yes. Sorry. You said it better. And it's not that complicated. Whining and handwringing isn't going to change a damned thing for these guys.

If you can't find a girl to bang or date outside of the office, get a bottle of lotion for the sex and a dog for the company.
Posted by HempHead
Big Sky Country
Member since Mar 2011
55496 posts
Posted on 11/21/17 at 1:08 pm to
Good Lord those double-stack GTOs were a thing of beauty.
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