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Here's my first draft of "Big Joe" Part Two

Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:12 pm
Posted by DawgfaninCa
San Francisco, California
Member since Sep 2012
20092 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:12 pm
It's sung to the melody of "Big John" written by Jimmy Dean.

Feel free to make any improvements.

Big Joe

Ev'ry mornin' in DC you could see him arrive
He stood six foot tall and weighed one eighty five
Kinda big in the mouth and small in the brain
And everybody I know doesn't care about Big Joe

(Big Joe, Big Joe)
Big Bad Joe
(Big Joe)

Nobody seemed to know if Big Joe would run
He just stayed in the background all alone
He wouldn't say much, he was quiet and sly
And if you asked at all, he just said, "I'll let you know by and by"

Somebody said he came from Delaware
after he won an election for a Senate seat
With an overwhelming vote of his Democrat base
Sent the other candidate running to a loser's fate, Big Joe

(Big Joe, Big Joe)
Big Bad Joe
(Big Joe)

Then came the day at the end of April
When the Democrat men and women were cryin'
They were prayin' and hearts beat fast
And everyone thought Obama's presidency would be their last, 'cept Joe

Through the lies and more lies of this Trump made hell
Walked a giant of a man that the Dems knew well
He told a saggin' party with his great big grin
That like a white knight ridin', he was gonna win, Big Joe

(Big Joe, Big Joe)
Big Bad Joe
(Big Joe)

And to the Democrat party he gave a mighty yell
that he would send the Trump bastard back to hell,
And twenty men and women worried when he entered the race
because they feared that Big Joe would begin in first place

Bernie and Beto started shakin' in their boots
While Warren and Harris cried it ain't no fair
for another old white man to lead the pack
Everybody knew it was the end of the line for them

(Big Joe, Big Joe)
Big Bad Joe
(Big Joe)

Now Big Joe started his campaign against his mighty foe
with his humongous lie condemning the orange clown
For supporting Nazis and white supremicists
But at the end of it all Big Joe lost to a bigger man, Big Don

(Big Don, Big Don)
Bigger Badder Don
(Big Don)

(Big Don)
Bigger Badder Don
This post was edited on 4/26/19 at 5:52 pm
Posted by theunknownknight
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2005
57316 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:13 pm to
my pants are off now
Posted by whitetiger1234
They/Them
Member since Oct 2016
4884 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:13 pm to
Cringe
Posted by LSUTigerBait07
SD, Chicago, or New Orleans
Member since Sep 2007
2191 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:13 pm to
Improvement would be deleting the whole post
Posted by txbd
Valhalla
Member since Jan 2014
2235 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:13 pm to
Yeah Joe Alleva was the worst
Posted by Pettifogger
Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone
Member since Feb 2012
79212 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:16 pm to
please clap
Posted by stapuffmarshy
lower 9
Member since Apr 2010
17507 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:19 pm to
I remember when this place could really entertain.




That seems like decades ago.


frick all of you worthless political hack posters. I hope your children grow up to be libertarians.
Posted by 50_Tiger
Dallas TX
Member since Jan 2016
40094 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:19 pm to
What in the actual frick?!!!
Posted by cbree88
South Louisiana
Member since Feb 2010
5339 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:21 pm to
Is Big Joe referring to Joe Biden?
Posted by kciDAtaE
Member since Apr 2017
15761 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:21 pm to
I prefer the original better
Posted by northshorebamaman
Cochise County AZ
Member since Jul 2009
35491 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:23 pm to
What does this have to do with sea serpents?
Posted by el Gaucho
He/They
Member since Dec 2010
52996 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:24 pm to
I made a song about trump to the tune of papa roach

Impeach my life into pieces
This is the mueller report
Russian collusion that’s cheating
Don’t give a flip except for tweeting
Posted by TheWalrus
Member since Dec 2012
40522 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:26 pm to
Only good Big John knock off is Sky King by Kris Kristofferson
Posted by efrad
Member since Nov 2007
18645 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:26 pm to
when I was in 4th grade I remember a friend and I rewrote a bunch of Beatles songs but we changed them to Pokémon themes

Reading this post makes me so glad I grew up to be a normal person
Posted by crazy4lsu
Member since May 2005
36311 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:28 pm to
This might be legit the worst post ever on this website.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124227 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:32 pm to
FWIW, I appreciate it.

My Ballad of Clueless Joe went over about as well
Posted by DawgfaninCa
San Francisco, California
Member since Sep 2012
20092 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:32 pm to
quote:

This might be legit the worst post ever on this website.




Except for fr33manator, there's nothing but a bunch of humorless Dums in OT.
This post was edited on 4/25/19 at 5:38 pm
Posted by Obtuse1
Westside Bodymore Yo
Member since Sep 2016
25639 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:34 pm to
What makes it even worse than just cringy is it is an attention whore cross-post.
Posted by DawgfaninCa
San Francisco, California
Member since Sep 2012
20092 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:42 pm to
quote:

What makes it even worse than just cringy is it is an attention whore cross-post.


Wah, you are making me feel uncomfortable and unwanted and you hurt my feelings.


I'll have to go back to listening to Larry Elder.
This post was edited on 4/25/19 at 5:47 pm
Posted by Pecker
Rocky Top
Member since May 2015
16674 posts
Posted on 4/25/19 at 5:46 pm to
quote:

Wah, you are making me feel uncomfortable, unwanted and you hurt my feelings.


I'll have to go back to listening to Larry Elder.

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