re: Cornell accuser told cops: ‘With 100% confidence I was raped

quote:

---

Its difficult, exhausting, and potentially impossible, to recognize and address every person for all they have to offer. Sometimes the cute waitress is just a cute waitress to all of her clients that night. And all her clients are just mouths that want good service. And her biggest goal that night is to get tips. And all they want from her is good service.

---

I actually agree with you. But I want to distinguish between people you (proverbially you) are paying to provide a good or service, and people you encounter in the wild. Even dancers at a strip club expect to be regarded for the desirability they provide.

I don't expect everyone who encounters an attractive person to appreciate the totality of that person's humanity. I just don't think attractiveness should obscure the parts of their humanity that actually are relevant to the interaction. I'm going to use our little counterculture here as an example, even thought I'm generally not affected by strangers insulting me on the internet. If I post something controversial or unpopular, often times some posters will respond with some insult about what they assume I look like, as an attempt to further discount the unpopular position I took. Something like "Only fat ugly liberal women think this way."

My appearance has absolutely nothing to do with whether my argument is good or bad, but suddenly it becomes relevant because I'm a woman expressing an opinion someone dislikes. The insult only lands because we all understand the hierarchy it's invoking: being an unattractive woman is supposed to diminish my value and, somehow, my credibility.

The inverse can be reductive too. If I'm attractive, that doesn't make my argument better, nor does it tell you whether I'm intelligent, thoughtful, funny, competent, kind, curious or interesting. Yet attractiveness can become the dominant lens through which all of those other qualities are perceived.

quote:

---

My appearance has absolutely nothing to do with whether my argument is good or bad, but suddenly it becomes relevant because I'm a woman expressing an opinion someone dislikes. The insult only lands because we all understand the hierarchy it's invoking: being an unattractive woman is supposed to diminish my value and, somehow, my credibility.

---

Men face the same, male specific, line of insults. Cuck, incel, queer, needle dick, etc. Not only just from other men, but other women as well (I believe there are online studies that show women do this more often than men do, at least as of 5-10ish years ago on facebook).

When someone is aiming to insult you, they always try and customize it to uniquely apply to you.

I don't think this is a male or female thing. Also, guys are pretty ruthless with each other, but we also experience negative emotions with less intensity and frequency. If women want to pretend there are no differences between men and women, and want to be treated just like men, the insults will get worse.

quote:

---

Yet multiple people apparently thought her physical desirability was relevant information.

---

Right
I'm one of them.

Had she been unattractive, I would have been far more biased against the guys. IAW the presumption you carry, that they had zero intention of anything other than an atomic sexual experience with a coyote date. From the propagandized releases we've been shown, Male#1 seems to have possibly had interest beyond that.

quote:

---

Had she been unattractive, I would have been far more biased against the guys.

---

Why? Would your inclination be that an unattractive college girl would be less likely to want to participate in those activities?

quote:

---

Yes, but I'm not frustrated that attractive people get perks. I'm frustrated that attractive people are reduced to their value as objects of desire.

---

More evidence of your liberal mental illness

quote:

---

You yourself have made the point already in this thread, pretty girls are valued more and that logic would assume men would be less likely to treat them poorly.

---

They may be more likely to be objectified. Being valued more highly as an object of desire doesn't necessarily translate into being treated with greater consideration as a person. That's what I've been trying to articulate.

quote:

---

Being valued more highly

---

Being valued more highly means being valued more highly. This isn’t rocket surgery.

quote:

---

I do not see that as the Cornell scenario though.

---

Absolutely. The point I was trying to make doesn’t necessarily apply to what happened at Cornell. They were all behaving like idiotic college kids. They all used and objectified each other.

quote:

---

And then you called your own rewrite narcissistic.

---

I quoted what you said.

What YOU said. That's what I called toxic and narcissistic. Not what I said.

At first that comment just seemed like a tone deaf, privileged "let them eat cake" sort of comment, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized, that statement wasn't about anybody but you.

You don't care that women are out there in the wild being valued for their looks instead of their mental acuity or competence or demeanor.

Because again, that's not just women. That's everybody. EVERYBODY is judged based on how they appear to people who do not know them. And that's no profound realization...it's self evident to pretty much anybody over the age of maybe 11 or 12.

So this is either a pathetic humble brag or an impotent rage against the machine (depending upon whether you are generally considered to be attractive or not). Either way, it reeks of being personal.

The only other possibility I can imagine is that feminist propaganda has you convinced that only women are judged by looks when it's obviously the entirety of humankind.

And based on some other things that are just as obviously false that you have nevertheless alleged on this thread, I could believe that possibility, except that I would expect a little different angle if that were really the case.

quote:

---

The inverse can be reductive too. If I'm attractive, that doesn't make my argument better, nor does it tell you whether I'm intelligent, thoughtful, funny, competent, kind, curious or interesting. Yet attractiveness can become the dominant lens through which all of those other qualities are perceived.

---

You make a good point,but this applies to how women see men as well. The problem is this goes back to Day One.