Saban and The Hat (homage to "Casey at the Bat" poem)

My Own personal rewording-enjoy rantards.


The outlook wasn't brilliant for the crimson tide that day
The score stood 7-9 with but two minutes left to play
And then when Smelley dropped a pass, and Maze, he did the same
An eerie quiet fell across the gumps there at the game

A frightened few they hung their heads in abject fear. The rest
Hung on to pride and screamed "Roll Tide", they could not lose to Les.
They thought, "but all the pundits said we'd win the game and that,
We'd beat them 4 times out of 5 if Saban faced the Hat."

But the Tiger D was steadfast, they gave up not an inch
And it looked like their Crystal hope would be lost in the trench
So bitter tears began to flow from members of a frat
For there seemed little chance that Saban would defeat the Hat

But Lacy ran for it on fourth! Those gumps, their eyes they strained,  
To see if Eddie's scramble was enough to move the chains
And when the spot was placed no  seated fan could there be found,
The Bama fans erupted when the ref signaled "First Down!"

Then from some thirty thousand gumps, there rose a mighty roar
It echoed from the river to lake Ponchatrain's North Shore
It rumbled all down Bourbon, shuddered streetcars where they sat,
For Saban, lordly Saban was about to beat the Hat

There was pride in Saban's manner, cheering gumps admired his grace
Confident was Saban's bearing, a smug look on Saban's face
And so, emboldened by their praise, (that runty little brat!)
No tide fan in the dome had fear, Saban would beat the Hat

Many thousand eyes upon him, he cracked a dev'lish grin
And  each gump told their neighbor how they knew the Tide would win
Then while the talking heads spoke of how Nick exuded class
Upon the sidelines Miles chewed some real Death Valley grass.

So Alabama snapped the ball, McCarron threw a pass
But Honey Badger was too quick, knocked Bell right on his arse.
But Saban was undaunted, and he did not wear a frown
"We've got this game", said Saban, as the ref cried "second down"

From the bleachers, white and crimson, there arose a piercing cry
(like a piggy that some lonely gump has cornered in a sty)
"interference!" yelled the Bammers, screaming red-faced from the stands.
But a knowing glance from Saban quieted the restless fans

With that Bama braggadacio, great Saban's visage gleamed
Despite November 5th he knew they were the better team
He called a run for Richardson, who made a gain of four,
But Saban wasn't worried, he knew Bama would yet score.

The Tide once more grew antsy as the seconds slipped away,
But they had faith in Nicky, surely he would win the day.
Then one more time the pigskin soared, McCarron's aim was true,
But Claiborne made the tackle, and the spot, was fourth and two

The smirk is gone from Saban's lips, his teeth are clenched in hate,
He's wracked with damning déjà vu, a kicker holds their fate
And now the center snaps the ball, now Foster kicks it square
And now time stands deathly still as it travels through the air

Oh, somewhere in the SEC the Crystal ball shines bright,
The band plays fight songs somewhere, and they revel through the night,
And somewhere fans are laughing, and somewhere they dance about,
But there is no joy in Gumpville, mighty Saban has lost out