Your go-to office pranks

Shitting directly into your boss's coffee mug is always great high jinks.

My favorite prank is to convince people to do pranks and have them lose their jobs over them because of the no-tolerance policy.

And then I have less competition.

When a particularly OCD type of co-worker takes vacation, I like to get a can of this:



and coat their desk with it and then empty the hole punch out on their desk top.

Remove shift key from keyboard & air horn under desk chair

Machiavellian...I can dig it

Get a cup of hole punches
Perch on edge of shelf above desk
Tape floss to cup
Run floss behind back of desk
Push chair in
Tape floss to chair

Now, when they pull the chair out the cup of hole punches will spill all over their desk

A simple yet effective one is turning off one of their dual monitors

Top ten ways to be 'the funny guy' in your office:

10. Ask to borrow someone's pen- bring it to the bathroom- stick it inyour arse- then return it and tell the person to smell it- when they tell you that it smells bad- be like, "It should! I had it in my arse!"

9. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with your nuts. Get them really sweaty, and then walk around shaking everyones hand.

8. Answer every question asked to you with 'frick if i know!' then call the person a racial slur that doesn't even match their race.

7. Always walk around with a big smile. Keep one hand down the front of your pants.

6. Run down the hall with your dick out while urinating all over and yell, "It won't stop! God help me! It won't stop!!" Then when it stops, look down and say...."Oh."

5. shite on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and sees it tell them its the fake plastic kind- when they try to pick it up, and realize that their hand is full of shite, laugh and point.

4. Before a meeting fill your mouth with custard-then during the meeting put one finger in the air and make like you're hocking up a big loogie- then spit the custard into a clear glass and hand it to the person next to you and say "Beat that!"

3. Inform a male coworker that he "wouldn't make a good hooker," then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs a good "arse fricking".

2. Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if they don't, and then punch them in the mouth.

1. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives you the sympathy remarks- tell everyone how you're just kidding- then tell everyone that they're just a bunch of homo lovers.

I just stick with making fun of the fat guys in the office.

Also putting a live chicken in a suspended ceiling can cause a ton of chaos