re: Your best/worst roommate story

My roommate freshman year was an odd kid that wanted so badly to fit in he tried way too hard. He was put on SSRIs early in the semester and told not to drink. Wanting to fit and seeing everyone else getting drunk, he didn't listen.

One night as I'm hanging out with friends on our floor in front of the elevators we hear drunk people come up and stop on our floor. As soon as the doors were wide enough two people fall out and hit the ground ( we think the were leaning against the closed elevator doors). It's my roommate and another guy from our floor.

The other guy from our floor is bleeding from a cut on his head. Our RM happened to be waiting on an elevator as they fell out and starts taking care of the guy bleeding as he keeps asking "who's blood is this?" When he sees it on his hands.

My roommate wants to be the center of attention so he starts making a fool of himself and once the RM realizes the other guys cut isn't bad and that my roommate is shite faced she asks to talk to him in his room and asks me to come too (I guess to gauge exactly how drunk he is and so that she wasn't alone with him). While she is talking to him in our room he is leaning against the closet talking about how everybody is his friend in a manic type manner.

The RM asks him a question and instead of responding he keeps his eyes on the floor in a spaced out way. The RM asks if he's feeling alright as I see a wet spot begin to form on his jeans. This spot quickly develops into a waterfall of urine.

After realizing he was pissing his pants the RM goes to consulted with another RM about whether he is a threat to himself or needs to go to the hospital and I take my roommate out into the hall because I didn't want his piss all over the floor in our room. Having lost the capability to remain upright without support, he falls backwards onto the ground after trying to walk towards the crowd still in front of the elevator dealing with the bleeding kid.

Being the a-hole I am, I take out my phone and take a picture of my roommate on his back with a gigantic piss stain down the entire right side of his pants leg. He has the biggest fricking smile I've ever seen on someone's face. After people realize he's pissed his pants they ask me to send them the pic. I send it to 5-6 people that are there to see it happen.

After a few minutes the RM returns with another RM and we go back into our room. They continue with similar questions trying to decide if my roommate is alright. I'm sitting with him on the futon and the RMs are standing between us and the door.

Suddenly my roommate dry heaves. Nothing comes up but vomit is eminent. I look towards the RMs expecting them to help him into the restroom which they are standing beside, but I barely catch the heels of their feet as the run out the door. I help my roommate to his feet and begin to turn him towards the restroom when he projectile vomits. Since he vomited while I was turning him the only thing he hits is my dresser. Several drawers were not closed all the way.

I recognize that the inside of my dresser and the clothes inside are gonna need to be cleaned immediately and with disgust shove him into the bathroom. Because he didn't have a hand on the wall when I let go he goes down like Frazier but lands in front of the toilet.

30 mins later the RMs have called an ambulance and USCPD is talking to him in my room. My roommate does not want to go. After negotiating for a while the police officer says "Look, you are not staying here tonight. You can do this the easy way or I can package you". My roommate takes a moment to think, looks back into the officers eyes and says "Officer, package me!"

I was hoping for a taser because I was still salty about the clothes he had vomited on and the laundry I had to do (finished at 6am). My two friends watching were hoping for a taser. But alas, the officer just put him in handcuffs until he was loaded into the stretcher.

Now the guy with a leg full of piss getting hauled off in a stretcher garnered a lot of attention on his way out of the 17 story freshman dorm. He left when most students were getting back from downtown. The picture I took managed to spread from the 5-6 people I sent it to until basically everyone in the building had seen it. He even got recognized a few times when I was on campus with him as "the guy who pissed himself". He wanted attention so he liked it and thought it was hilarious.

At the beginning of the next semester I'm telling the story to a group of older students that lived off campus and when I get to the part about the picture a chick says "that guy was your roommate?"

TL;DR- my roommate pissed his pants, projectile vomited on my dresser with the drawers open and got out into handcuffs and hauled off on a stretcher.

That has to be a record for the most words in a non-quoted post.

Holy shite my phone actually scrolled 3 times on cock's post

My one and only roommate story was my freshman year. I roomed with a girl I was semi friends with. We went to HS together but weren't close. She was obsessed with sex but was a virgin. All she ever did was talk about sex. She was dating some married guy who would call every morning at 5:00 before his wife woke up, and she'd go in the closet and have loud phone sex with him. I tried to set her up with a friend of the guy I was dating at the time to get her away from the phillanderer, and it didn't go well. A few weeks later, we were all at the same party and she got drunk and started screaming across the room about how tiny the guy was. Even though she told me all they did was kiss. I took her with me to visit my favorite resident at the nursing home I volunteered at, and she started telling the lady she needed to get a vibrator. An elderly lady who had had a stroke and was in a wheelchair. I was mortified. I moved put the next week and got a private room. She was psycho. Never saw her again.

My old roommate had broke up with his girlfriend one night. The next day I was sitting in the living room watching TV between classes when I heard the backdoor unlock and his EX walks in. She proceeds to his bedroom and I can hear her digging through all his stuff. I think I am texting him and say "Crazy is at the house and taking all your sh**". A few minutes later I hear her yell, "You sent that to me a**hole." I somehow managed to send the text to her and not my roommate. We still get good laughs out of this.

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of him rubbing my pillow up his arse. Well, I pissed in his mouthwash, rubbed his toothbrush in my arse, and put toilet paper with my poopy stains in his pillow cover. I waited a few shifts and had a shift that I took off. Went up there when they were doing drill and did all that. Pretty passive aggressive of me. I got a call from another coworker that night and I asked about the other dude. Apparently he wasn't to happy, I never said a word. Don't rub my pillow in your butt crack.

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When I was 18 I moved in with a buddy, she was a GIRL
After 2 weeks she started walking around in her PANTIES. After 2 days of that we had SEX
true story, I miss my buddy

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he asked me to hold the belt around his arm while he shot up a crushed hit of microdot.

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And then you watched him die? Unless microdot means something else to the kids these days.

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Freshman year I got a new roommate who was a 300+ pound African American. Thought the kid was really nice/intelligent at first. Suddenly things started disappearing in my room. I was noticing that whenever I'd leave he'd head straight to the room then something would go missing. It was the weirdest things... Shoes, shampoo, cologne, shirts (wouldn't even fit him?). Some people noticed he was taking my belongings out of the room. I requested to move out but of course they wouldn't let me unless I filed a police report.

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Did you ever confront him before calling the cops?

If they aren't from Africa just call them black.