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Posted on 7/30/20 at 1:07 pm to Misnomer
quote:
You’re American when you go into the bathroom, and you’re American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you’re in there?
It’s “Russian when you go in, and Finnish when you leave.”
Posted on 7/30/20 at 1:08 pm to Goldbondage
Also my kids favorite knock-knock:
Who’s there?
Corn and mop
Corn and mop who?
Who’s there?
Corn and mop
Corn and mop who?
Posted on 7/30/20 at 1:22 pm to BoogaBear
Did I tell you my pizza joke?
Never mind, it's too cheesy...
Never mind, it's too cheesy...
Posted on 7/30/20 at 1:23 pm to Goldbondage
Correct!
Posted on 7/30/20 at 2:10 pm to BoogaBear
If a stork is the bird that brings babies, what is the bird that prevents them?
The swallow
The swallow
Posted on 7/30/20 at 2:21 pm to YMCA
"Name 3 cars that start with P."
(Porche, Plymouth, Pontiac)
"No, those start with gas."
(Porche, Plymouth, Pontiac)
"No, those start with gas."
Posted on 7/30/20 at 2:41 pm to BoogaBear
Just picked up 2 exhaust fans to put in a home. Told my partner i hope he got lunch because putting them up would be exhausting.
Posted on 7/30/20 at 3:04 pm to SG_Geaux
quote:
quote:
Rape
Hey! Rape is no laughing matter.
Unless you are raping a clown.
For some reason, I read these rape jokes in a Norm MacDonald delivery.
Posted on 7/30/20 at 3:07 pm to BoogaBear
quote:
Your best impromptu dad joke
Two cavemen were working on building a wheel and noticed a third caveman finishing the wheel he was working on.
The first caveman said “him good at job”
The second caveman said “yeah, him prompt too”
Sorry but that’s the only impromptu joke I know because I just made it up.
Posted on 7/30/20 at 3:13 pm to BoogaBear
Where did the Romanov family get their coffee?
Tsarbucks
How did Emperor Diocletian cut the Roman Empire in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Tsarbucks
How did Emperor Diocletian cut the Roman Empire in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Posted on 7/30/20 at 3:22 pm to jamiegla1
Dad: [makes "OK" sign with his hand] I bet you I can poke my head through this little hole.
Kid: No you can't.
Dad: [puts it up to his forehead and pokes his head with his opposite index finger] See, told ya.
One of my dads favorites when I was a kid
Kid: No you can't.
Dad: [puts it up to his forehead and pokes his head with his opposite index finger] See, told ya.
One of my dads favorites when I was a kid
Posted on 7/30/20 at 3:34 pm to Goldbondage
quote:
Who’s there? Corn and mop Corn and mop who?
Also a good one,
Knock knocK
“Who’s there?”
“I eat mop”
“I eat mop who?”
“Ewwwwwwwwwww!”
Posted on 7/30/20 at 3:49 pm to 4QNDS
quote:
What does a pirate pay for ear piercing? Buck an ear!
You know the best part about a female pirate?
The big chest.
Posted on 7/30/20 at 4:06 pm to fr33manator
quote:
You know the best part about a female pirate?
The big chest.
What's the useless skin around the vagina called?
The woman.
Posted on 7/30/20 at 11:37 pm to LSUGrad9295
Why do bees stay in their hive during winter?
"swarm"
"swarm"
Posted on 7/30/20 at 11:40 pm to LSUGrad9295
quote:
What's the useless skin around the vagina called?
The woman
I told this joke to my kids, today.
They didnt think it was a good dad joke.
Even my sons told me that it was wrong.
Posted on 7/30/20 at 11:40 pm to BoogaBear
What’s the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn’t beat cancer
My dad didn’t beat cancer
Posted on 7/30/20 at 11:50 pm to Sao
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It takes 1 nail to hang a picture.
It takes 1 nail to hang a picture.
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