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re: Your best impromptu dad joke

Posted on 7/30/20 at 12:39 pm to
Posted by Salviati
Member since Apr 2006
7045 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 12:39 pm to
What did Mrs. Bullet say to Mr. Bullet?

"I think I'm going to have a BB."
Posted by Goldbondage
Member since Mar 2020
742 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 1:07 pm to
quote:

You’re American when you go into the bathroom, and you’re American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you’re in there?


It’s “Russian when you go in, and Finnish when you leave.”
Posted by jamiegla1
Member since Aug 2016
7881 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 1:08 pm to
Pull my finger
Posted by Goldbondage
Member since Mar 2020
742 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 1:08 pm to
Also my kids favorite knock-knock:

Who’s there?
Corn and mop
Corn and mop who?
Posted by JDPndahizzy
JDP
Member since Nov 2013
6918 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 1:22 pm to
Did I tell you my pizza joke?

Never mind, it's too cheesy...
Posted by cypresstiger
The South
Member since Aug 2008
13327 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 1:23 pm to
Correct!
Posted by YMCA
It's Fun to Stay
Member since May 2011
4907 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 2:10 pm to
If a stork is the bird that brings babies, what is the bird that prevents them?








The swallow
Posted by LSUlefty
Youngsville, LA
Member since Dec 2007
28143 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 2:21 pm to
"Name 3 cars that start with P."

(Porche, Plymouth, Pontiac)

"No, those start with gas."
Posted by Gusoline
Jacksonville, NC
Member since Dec 2013
10469 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 2:41 pm to
Just picked up 2 exhaust fans to put in a home. Told my partner i hope he got lunch because putting them up would be exhausting.
Posted by meansonny
ATL
Member since Sep 2012
26028 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 3:04 pm to
quote:

quote:
Rape


Hey! Rape is no laughing matter.




Unless you are raping a clown.


For some reason, I read these rape jokes in a Norm MacDonald delivery.
Posted by AbitaFan08
Boston, MA
Member since Apr 2008
27880 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 3:07 pm to
quote:

Your best impromptu dad joke


Two cavemen were working on building a wheel and noticed a third caveman finishing the wheel he was working on.

The first caveman said “him good at job”

The second caveman said “yeah, him prompt too”


Sorry but that’s the only impromptu joke I know because I just made it up.
Posted by alajones
Huntsvegas
Member since Oct 2005
35700 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 3:13 pm to
Where did the Romanov family get their coffee?




Tsarbucks





How did Emperor Diocletian cut the Roman Empire in half?






With a pair of Caesars.
Posted by Jor Jor The Dinosaur
Chicago, IL
Member since Nov 2014
7197 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 3:22 pm to
Dad: [makes "OK" sign with his hand] I bet you I can poke my head through this little hole.
Kid: No you can't.
Dad: [puts it up to his forehead and pokes his head with his opposite index finger] See, told ya.

One of my dads favorites when I was a kid
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
133042 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 3:34 pm to
quote:

Who’s there? Corn and mop Corn and mop who?



Also a good one,

Knock knocK
“Who’s there?”

“I eat mop”
“I eat mop who?”


“Ewwwwwwwwwww!”
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
133042 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 3:49 pm to
quote:

What does a pirate pay for ear piercing? Buck an ear!


You know the best part about a female pirate?



The big chest.
Posted by LSUGrad9295
Baton Rouge
Member since May 2007
36846 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 4:06 pm to
quote:

You know the best part about a female pirate?



The big chest.



What's the useless skin around the vagina called?




The woman.
Posted by Kujo
225-911-5736
Member since Dec 2015
6044 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 11:37 pm to
Why do bees stay in their hive during winter?
"swarm"
Posted by meansonny
ATL
Member since Sep 2012
26028 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 11:40 pm to
quote:

What's the useless skin around the vagina called?




The woman


I told this joke to my kids, today.

They didnt think it was a good dad joke.

Even my sons told me that it was wrong.
Posted by Sao
East Texas Piney Woods
Member since Jun 2009
68469 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 11:40 pm to
What’s the difference between me and cancer?






My dad didn’t beat cancer
Posted by Sao
East Texas Piney Woods
Member since Jun 2009
68469 posts
Posted on 7/30/20 at 11:50 pm to
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?




It takes 1 nail to hang a picture.
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