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Started By
Message
Young(ish) Relative Dies
Posted on 6/27/26 at 7:35 am
Posted on 6/27/26 at 7:35 am
My 1st cousin, last I heard, was on life-support and they were pulling the plug.
Background -
His Mom, my Aunt, turned him over to his bio Dad, as an infant, who got re-married. She (step-mom) had 3 daughters. I visited them in CO when I was 11. He had a pretty good childhood.
Saw him again when I was 16 and in my 30's & 40's
He decided to conduct a "transaction" that left him paralyzed, for 6 years. He is brain dead because of high blood pressure rupturing an artery. He is an organ donar, so not sure if he gone yet.
How can one/same family be so different?
Background -
His Mom, my Aunt, turned him over to his bio Dad, as an infant, who got re-married. She (step-mom) had 3 daughters. I visited them in CO when I was 11. He had a pretty good childhood.
Saw him again when I was 16 and in my 30's & 40's
He decided to conduct a "transaction" that left him paralyzed, for 6 years. He is brain dead because of high blood pressure rupturing an artery. He is an organ donar, so not sure if he gone yet.
How can one/same family be so different?
9
Posted on 6/27/26 at 7:40 am to liz18lsu
What was the “transaction”?
Posted on 6/27/26 at 7:44 am to liz18lsu
quote:
How can one/same family be so different?
I have a theory that all family lines have people in them that were legitimately disturbed.
As a generations develop, some genes will express and some genes will not.
Posted on 6/27/26 at 7:44 am to liz18lsu
quote:
How can one/same family be so different?
Who you associate with. That’s how.
Posted on 6/27/26 at 7:45 am to liz18lsu
I had a cousin OD in her late 30s(?) and another, a firefighter, who was killed in the line of duty in his 40s.
For the first, I don't really know the circumstances other than she made a bunch of bad decisions starting with who she married.
For the first, I don't really know the circumstances other than she made a bunch of bad decisions starting with who she married.
Posted on 6/27/26 at 7:47 am to liz18lsu
Somebody I wen to high school with adopted a child from a Russian orphanage. They gave him the best childhood possible, not only material things, but love and affection. When he reached early adulthood he went off the rails, multiple DWI's, finally hung himself instead of going back to jail.
Sometimes genetics + early childhood experiences trumps everything that comes afterward.
Sometimes genetics + early childhood experiences trumps everything that comes afterward.
Posted on 6/27/26 at 7:53 am to Jim Rockford
Posted on 6/27/26 at 7:55 am to Jim Rockford
quote:
Sometimes genetics + early childhood experiences trumps everything that comes afterward.
More than sometimes
Posted on 6/27/26 at 7:55 am to Spocks Brain
quote:"Got shot over drugs."
What was the “transaction”?
Let's just be transparent here.
Posted on 6/27/26 at 8:30 am to UKWildcats
quote:
"Got shot over drugs."
Let's just be transparent here.
Bingo.
He was the Prodigal son. Called me after a decade+ (no idea how he found me), just getting out of prison. Gave him my grandparents number, and he thrived, for years, did really well, got engaged. But relapsed. Threw away everything he and others helped him build.
He will be cremated, no funeral, no obit. 45 and just gone. Because he couldn't get past his demons.
Posted on 6/27/26 at 8:32 am to liz18lsu
That's just terrible all around. For him, for you, your family. All of it. I'm sorry.
Posted on 6/27/26 at 8:41 am to liz18lsu
Sorry to read this Liz.
You know the smartass comment that gets applied here is “At least he died doing what he loved”.
Sadly, it’s true.
Addicts put their habit above everything and everyone else in their lives.
Dying at 45 years-old is too young.
You know the smartass comment that gets applied here is “At least he died doing what he loved”.
Sadly, it’s true.
Addicts put their habit above everything and everyone else in their lives.
Dying at 45 years-old is too young.
Posted on 6/27/26 at 8:49 am to liz18lsu
quote:
How can one/same family be so different?
They don't call them the "black sheep" for nothing.
Know quite a few good families in that same situation. Kid gets involved with the wrong kind, parents don't realize it till it's too late.
Friends of my mom and dad, good family, 3 sons, two older sons are very successful, youngest becomes an addict, knocks up girlfriend, parents can't deal with him anymore and throw him out, he's caught stealing from the parents, they press charges, goes to jail.
He eventually got out, wound up dying of an overdose.
This post was edited on 6/27/26 at 8:53 am
Posted on 6/27/26 at 8:51 am to Spocks Brain
quote:
What was the “transaction”?
He paid for pussy and caught da aids.
Posted on 6/27/26 at 8:58 am to liz18lsu
quote:
But relapsed. Threw away everything he and others helped him build.
Drug addiction is a MFer. It’s a shame that big pharma is fighting against the cure for addiction.
Thank God Texas is leading the nation in Ibogaine research. It’s a cure that our nation and the rest of the West needs badly.
Posted on 6/27/26 at 9:21 am to soccerfüt
quote:
Addicts put their habit above everything and everyone else in their lives.
You are correct here, but not in the first part of what you posted. No addict loves being an addict.
You hate yourself every second while you inject that needle, pop that pill, or take that drink. You hate every minute of what you're doing.
And you still do it. There is no pleasure in it. There is no fun in it.
That is what it means to be an addict/alcoholic.
Posted on 6/27/26 at 9:28 am to Centinel
quote:I’ll amend the statement to “At least he died doing what he prioritized as first in his life.”
u are correct here, but not in the first part of what you posted. No addict loves being an addict.
While I’ve had some experience with addicts in my life, never has it been from a first-hand perspective.
This post was edited on 6/27/26 at 9:39 am
Posted on 6/27/26 at 10:14 am to Centinel
quote:
You are correct here, but not in the first part of what you posted. No addict loves being an addict.
You hate yourself every second while you inject that needle, pop that pill, or take that drink. You hate every minute of what you're doing.
And you still do it. There is no pleasure in it. There is no fun in it.
That is what it means to be an addict/alcoholic.
Say it again for those in the back. These threads always let you know who has and hasn't been personally affected by an addict. Not a random 3rd cousin, a person you genuinely love and can't picture life without. Those hit home far different than watching a random from afar and passing judgement based on social norms. Gives a clearer perspective of the destruction addiction causes and the changes to good people that result from it. Social use is a choice. Addiction is not. They can look the same from afar.
Posted on 6/27/26 at 10:39 am to liz18lsu
So sorry to hear that Liz.
It’s wild, my two step sons are complete opposites. One is an absolute a-hole and goes to military school with dreams of going to prison, that’s it. The other is in travel hockey with dreams of going D1 or DII. We don’t understand it either.
quote:
How can one/same family be so different?
It’s wild, my two step sons are complete opposites. One is an absolute a-hole and goes to military school with dreams of going to prison, that’s it. The other is in travel hockey with dreams of going D1 or DII. We don’t understand it either.
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