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Posted on 11/25/21 at 7:44 pm to BOSCEAUX
quote:
I’m with him. Bud products give me a headache and the shits
You’re just not drinking them enough the next day. And the day after that…
Posted on 11/25/21 at 8:12 pm to JiminyCricket
Well boys today ended up being unexpectedly pretty frickin badass. Woke up to the wife tugging on my Johnson like she’s ringing the liberty bell. She then says, “I don’t really wanna have slow sex, I just need you to frick me.” So of course, I oblige. Get up afterwards and have breakfast then go to the in-laws. Arrive at in-laws and immediately start drinking bourbon with FiL. We lose track of time drinking and watching the early game so we forgot to fry the turkey on time. Lunch is about an hour late but I didn’t even care. Then we leave and head to the shitshow. Uncle is hammered but luckily the Bumfrick and Bailey circus for retards that my shithead sister calls her friends didn’t come. I ate another plate and took a nap in the recliner. Woke up and slammed some desserts before heading back home. Now, Mrs Cricket (no pics) is asleep on my chest while I watch the Saints game. Gave the staff off tomorrow and I’m not going in either. Gonna sit at home and wait for my new MacBook to be delivered and it’ll be a day of football and sitting by the fireplace.
This post was edited on 11/25/21 at 8:13 pm
Posted on 11/25/21 at 8:13 pm to Scott68
How do you stay sober with a wall of liquor?
Posted on 11/25/21 at 8:15 pm to JiminyCricket
quote:
luckily the Bumfrick and Bailey circus for retards that my shithead sister calls her friends didn’t come
Posted on 11/25/21 at 8:16 pm to billjamin
quote:nothing wrong with going hogging and taking one for the team for the youngsters. That ain’t trashy, that’s Baw
Went cruising around earlier looking for pigs with my son and 2 nephews.
Y’all check out Cadillac about 1:55am
Posted on 11/25/21 at 8:17 pm to JiminyCricket
quote:what’s this slow slow sex stuff?
She then says, “I don’t really wanna have slow sex, I just need you to frick me.”
Posted on 11/25/21 at 8:19 pm to Scott68
quote:
MIL is 82. Insists on cooking all sorts of shite, even though she's coming to our house and we've already cooked plenty.
She also has no business driving.
We've gone through the "please don't cook and please don't drive" routine for the last 5 years as her health has continued to go downhill each year.
So, about 2 hours ago, wife leaves to go pick up MIL (an hour away) while I finish up the prep.
Wife arrives to find MIL decided to "go to the store" to buy groceries so she can "cook things" but instead ran her car into a tree in her driveway and has been laying in the driveway for a couple of hours with multiple injuries.
9-1-1 has been called and the ambulance is on the way.
I'm waiting on the call from my wife to see if my kid and I are going to meet her at the emergency room, or if she has some other plan for us.
My BIL and SIL, who also live an hour away from MIL, can't be bothered to help with any of this shite.
I always enjoy this thread, but when I sat down to read it today, I didn't plan on being a participant.
Posted on 11/25/21 at 8:19 pm to SuperSaint
Slow sex = foreplay, kissing, touching, working your way into it.
Frick me = well, I’d hope you’d be able to deduce what that one looks like.
Frick me = well, I’d hope you’d be able to deduce what that one looks like.
Posted on 11/25/21 at 8:19 pm to SuperSaint
Well, everything went fine here. Had my MIL/FIL and BIL and his wife. In laws are buying a house near us which is a huge win.
My MIL's brother fricked up bad though. He spent Thanksgiving with their two other siblings' families who can be awful to be around. Sends a text to my MIL about his terrible day with them, but accidentally sent it to the whole family.
Nuclear fallout.
My MIL's brother fricked up bad though. He spent Thanksgiving with their two other siblings' families who can be awful to be around. Sends a text to my MIL about his terrible day with them, but accidentally sent it to the whole family.
Nuclear fallout.
Posted on 11/25/21 at 8:20 pm to SuperSaint
It’s for dudes who pull their wiener out their pajama bottoms
Posted on 11/25/21 at 8:20 pm to pioneerbasketball
Kind of a funny short story - my sister in law brought her kids. Now, we are a hunting family so when we have big get togethers we do it at our camp where hunting is the discussion most of the time. So my sister in laws son said - I want to go “deering” which is what he calls hunting.
Posted on 11/25/21 at 8:45 pm to SuperSaint
quote:
nothing wrong with going hogging and taking one for the team for the youngsters. That ain’t trashy, that’s Baw Y’all check out Cadillac about 1:55am
that would have been more entertaining. Caterie (rip in peace) was peak hogging back in the day. 
Posted on 11/25/21 at 8:50 pm to lsutigersFTW
Update:
MIL is back at her home. Wife talked to doctor who took care of the gash on MIL's leg and reported no immediate concerns with the head injury.
MIL is now demanding that my wife leave her home. Wife is determined to stay, but she's pretty out of gas at this point.
Still no word from SIL. I'm sure she's busy doing ... nothing. BIL has surmised that since things are "ok", he'll "let us know" when he can come by to "check on" his mom. From prior experience, that means, "I'll stop in when I need to hit mom up for some money".
My wife is the only one in her family that gives a shite. I have the "here's some ideas for your mom's situation" discussion with her family about every 3 months and BIL and SIL just defer to my wife, which will eventually get deferred to me.
The kid and I snacked on Tupperware Thanksgiving as I told my wife everything would "keep" and we'll just have a re-do tomorrow, when we can actually enjoy a meal together.
I think it's safe to drink now. Going straight to the Barrell Armida. The kid is old enough to shut herself down and the wife isn't coming home. Not exactly the Thanksgiving I had in mind, but should be a peaceful evening, provided that MIL doesn't try to forcibly remove my wife from her home.
MIL is back at her home. Wife talked to doctor who took care of the gash on MIL's leg and reported no immediate concerns with the head injury.
MIL is now demanding that my wife leave her home. Wife is determined to stay, but she's pretty out of gas at this point.
Still no word from SIL. I'm sure she's busy doing ... nothing. BIL has surmised that since things are "ok", he'll "let us know" when he can come by to "check on" his mom. From prior experience, that means, "I'll stop in when I need to hit mom up for some money".
My wife is the only one in her family that gives a shite. I have the "here's some ideas for your mom's situation" discussion with her family about every 3 months and BIL and SIL just defer to my wife, which will eventually get deferred to me.
The kid and I snacked on Tupperware Thanksgiving as I told my wife everything would "keep" and we'll just have a re-do tomorrow, when we can actually enjoy a meal together.
I think it's safe to drink now. Going straight to the Barrell Armida. The kid is old enough to shut herself down and the wife isn't coming home. Not exactly the Thanksgiving I had in mind, but should be a peaceful evening, provided that MIL doesn't try to forcibly remove my wife from her home.
Posted on 11/25/21 at 8:54 pm to SuperSaint
quote:sex is not normally interrupted by prison guards dipshit
what’s this slow slow sex stuff?
Posted on 11/25/21 at 9:13 pm to Scott68
quote:
Wife will be spending the night at MIL's (apparently in silence) so the kid and I are on our own for how to handle "Tupperware Thanksgiving".
I'll give your wife credit. That was a hell of a story she made up so she could spend Thanksgiving with Jody.
Posted on 11/25/21 at 9:19 pm to OWLFAN86
quote:
sex is not normally interrupted by prison guards dipshit
Posted on 11/25/21 at 9:32 pm to SuperSaint
Family is gone, wife is mad at me for some reason. I got a little lit today but now I’m sober and not quite sure why she’s mad. But I’m going to continue to argue and prove I’m right. What did I do damnit, I will not lose this
Posted on 11/25/21 at 9:53 pm to cdhorn28
Putting the kid down, had a good day at my wife’s family and my parents. Now gonna try to get into Mrs Hogwarts pants, we’ll see how this goes.
Posted on 11/25/21 at 9:58 pm to cdhorn28
quote:
But I’m going to continue to argue and prove I’m right
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