re: Would you reach out to your son’s friend’s parents after something like this?

quote:

---

Why?

---

What is wrong with taking your son to do something?

quote:

---

You are the reason that young people today absolutely cannot deal with those things emotionally

---

This didn't take long. In no way did I say the kid would know about my conversation or would he be involved. And you not being able to talk to another parent is not dealing with something emotional

As I said later, the reason could be there was a limit on kids. That's fair. If I had that situation come up and I knew one of my kids close friends might have to be left out, I'd call up the parent and let them know ahead of time. It's a courtesy so that they can deal with it. And because I'm not scared to tell a parent that there kid is out if it came to that. Sure there is a kid I'd like to leave out, but my kid like them so I don't. But I have talked to their parents about that kids behavior

Again, ignoring it and hiding behind "life's not fair get over it" is not dealing with it. If the dad says, we could only invite 3 kids and my son knew the other 3 longer, ok, I completely understand, thanks for letting me know, I just wanted to make sure there weren't any behavioral issues I need to address. And then I'd go to the son and talk to him about, it happens, it sucks, but you'll be fine. And go from there. That is teaching someone to deal with it

quote:

---

Do you really think that?

---

Yes

quote:

---

Are you that much of a moron?

---

You might need to ease up on the infomercial T

quote:

---

He's also going to try out for teams that he doesn't make, try to get an A in a class that he doesn't get, apply for jobs that he isn't selected for, apply to schools that he doesn't get into, ask women out for dates that say no.

---

And the only thing these have in common with the current situation is that the kid didn't get what he wanted and in every one, just like the current situation, you can talk to the kid. I'd never go to a teacher and ask why my kid didn't get an A (except when I see the test or grades and can see an error was made, an 84 was entered, but the test in hand is a 94 for example)

quote:

---

Hell, kids today can barely deal with calling a friend and asking if they want to hang out, and it's because parents like you arranged their whole social life during their entire childhood.

---

Where are you getting this from? I've never seen any of this. And my whole position, again, not to get an invite, but to understand why so I can talk to my kid better about it in order for him to learn about rejection. That's the whole point. Ignoring it is not teaching him and is just as bad as the parents that coddle and force an invite

quote:

---

This is some dramatic arse shite for a situation that was more than likely just an expensive birthday party with limited participants.

---

Is it?

Hey guy, heard y'all were having a paint ball party. Your kid and mine have been pretty close as he's over pretty much every day. Any issues from my kid I should know about?

No, nothing like that. My kid really wanted paintball and there is a strict limit. He knew the other kids longer.

Ah, I hear ya. Just wanted to make sure mine didn't do anything I should know about. Y'all have fun

The end. Quick and easy. That's where I'd go for it. There can be any number of reasons

Then I talk to the kid. They can be sad for the day, but at least I didn't ignore it

My oldest is 13, a girl, this shite happens all the time. Moms have called each other about this a few times over the last few months. This shite can become a mess, luckily my wife and I stay out of this shite. We just usually tell our kid, if she doesn't get invited, now you know where you stand with that person. Also, you can't invite everyone to everything, not possible.

quote:

---

I lost a really good friend as a kid when my parents got involved.

Let the kids figure it out.

---

Same. My first and oldest friend, he was two year old living next door to the house I was born in. We grew up together. We eventually moved but still close enough to hang out every other weekend. Our families were good friends. My little brother was friends with his little brother, etc.

When I was 14, I had a major disagreement with him and, this sounds ridiculous, but I wrote him a strongly worded letter, literally. Well, his helicopter mom decided to intercept the letter and read it before giving it to him. She calls my mom very upset. My mom confronts me. I explain my side of the story. Now she's livid. Calls her back, now they are fighting. Long story short, our families never spoke again.

My friend and I would have settled this on our own until the parents got involved.

quote:

---

You really don’t think it’s odd and concerning that one of my son’s best friends doesn’t invite him to his birthday party? It’s not like it’s just a school friend. I’m the cuck for wanting to figure this out?

---

It is odd and it sucks but you will only make it worse by talking to the kids parents.

Take him somewhere he’s always wanted to go or loves and treat him to a full day of fun.

Explain to him that people can be cruel sometimes but that he doesn’t have to let it ruin his day.

Hurt feelings pass.

Do not have the other boy over at all until they figure it out between the 2 of them. Tell him that your son doesn’t want to play the next time he comes over.

If your son asked a girl out and she rejected him would you follow up with her for details too? Don’t raise a soft boy.

quote:

---

My son has experienced some social issues off and on at school,

---

He got caught lookin at their dicks in the locker room huh?

quote:

---

And I’d ditch the gluten stuff kept for him.

---

Not sure I'd throw away what you have already purchased, but I wouldn't buy any more if he is the only one who eats it.

Paintball is expensive, probably $100 per kid. Unfortunately the parents probably had to put a limit on the number and your kid fell on the wrong side. It sucks , but they can’t just give a kid unlimited invites and go broke for a birthday party.