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re: Wives going on vacations. What's the O-T's rules on this?

Posted on 12/2/24 at 1:23 pm to
Posted by TheDeathValley
New Orleans, LA
Member since Sep 2010
18917 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 1:23 pm to
quote:

SuperSaint


Yeah yeah, she’s with Jody I guess.

But seriously, if she goes on a weekend trip with the girls, who gives a damn?
Posted by SaintsTiger
1,000,000 Posts
Member since Oct 2014
1456 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 1:24 pm to
Depends on the situation. Friend of a friend ‘s wife went on a camping trip with her so called best guy friends a while back. She was the only chick and the husband wasn’t invited.
Posted by RummelTiger
Texas
Member since Aug 2004
91980 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 1:26 pm to
quote:

When is it okay, and not okay. I always see people's wives' doing girls vacations together. Where is the line drawn, with family?


lolwut?

I do guys trips, my wife does girls trips, and we do family trips - what in the world are you talking about?
Posted by Eurocat
Member since Apr 2004
15776 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 1:37 pm to
quote:

or drag brunch


Posted by Oates Mustache
Member since Oct 2011
24340 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 1:38 pm to
quote:

Yeah yeah, she’s with Jody I guess.


Would you also say she's "glowing"?
Posted by Tigerfan1274
Member since May 2019
4014 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 1:40 pm to
quote:


Depends on the situation


Agree. If it's something they've always done and enjoy it, why not. I've been married 15 years and not once has my wife had any desire to go on a girls' trip. If all of sudden she did, I'd probably start to wonder a little.
Posted by Eurocat
Member since Apr 2004
15776 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 1:42 pm to
quote:

It has nothing to do with “respect for her space “ or any such new age nonsense. So it very much depends on who is going where. If shes going on a shopping trip with the girls from church, then thats a self policing situation. If her partying friends want her to take a trip to Vegas, all kinds of alarms should be going off.


Best post on this thread.

If she is visiting her parents along with, say her brother or sister who live a 12 hour drive away over a three day weekend, by all means go.

But as you said, if its Vegas with four friends, two of whom just got divorced in the past year or so....yeah....not all that comfortable with her visiting "What Happens In Vegas Stays In Vegas" land.
Posted by Eurocat
Member since Apr 2004
15776 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 1:48 pm to
quote:

Holy shite, some of y'all are so fricking insecure. If you married a cheater, they will cheat no matter the time or place. A girls/guys only vacation wouldn't matter.


No you're wrong. My college roommate is a Psychiatrist. Of course he is too professional to "name names" or get into details (nor would I ask) but in a general - overall sense he has told me he has an enormous amount of patients who come in for therapy that starts out with "I never thought I would do this but unexpectedly this opportunity came up...." (this does not just apply to sex, it could be stealing from an employer who doesn't really follow the books, trying heroin at some party, trying something same-sex, also of course out of wedlock romantic hookups, etc.).

Fortunately, many times it ends with "oh my God, it was just that one time" and that is the end of it.
Posted by MemphisGuy
Member since Nov 2023
10631 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 1:51 pm to
quote:

Where is the line drawn

I'm sorry, what? What it this "Line drawing" nonsense you speak of? Is your wife your property or something? Do you not trust her? Why would you have a problem with her taking a vacation with her girlfriends? Unless you don't trust her. And they you have bigger issues to deal with.
Posted by Oates Mustache
Member since Oct 2011
24340 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 1:53 pm to
quote:

My college roommate is a Psychiatrist. Of course he is too professional to "name names" or get into details (nor would I ask) but in a general - overall sense he has told me he has an enormous amount of patients who come in for therapy that starts out with "I never thought I would do this but unexpectedly this opportunity came up...." (this does not just apply to sex, it could be stealing from an employer who doesn't really follow the books, trying heroin at some party, trying something same-sex, also of course out of wedlock romantic hookups, etc.).


He's probably part of some of those studies I've read about infidelity. The OT knows better though, baw.
Posted by theOG
Member since Feb 2010
10677 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 1:58 pm to
My wife has the green light to travel with her girlfriends whenever she wants. I’ll happily log those days for hunting season.
Posted by madamsquirrel
The big somewhere out there
Member since Jul 2009
53433 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 2:00 pm to
Your wife is your bff and y'all love doing everything together but you read studies on infidelity?
Posted by Oates Mustache
Member since Oct 2011
24340 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 2:01 pm to
quote:

Your wife is your bff and y'all love doing everything together but you read studies on infidelity?


Wanna guess why? I can even give you a hint if you'd like.
This post was edited on 12/2/24 at 2:02 pm
Posted by madamsquirrel
The big somewhere out there
Member since Jul 2009
53433 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 2:02 pm to
Your name is Jody?
Posted by Oates Mustache
Member since Oct 2011
24340 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 2:06 pm to
quote:

Your name is Jody?


I legit laughed out loud. That's why I love you, in a platonic way of course.
Posted by Eurocat
Member since Apr 2004
15776 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 2:06 pm to
People just loosen up when they are in a nice hotel. The whole aura of a hotel is to make you feel pampered...and entitled.

I have business people friends (duh, I am one myself) who have said they never tasted the forbidden fruit, but they were feeling relaxed in the Ritz-Carlton lobby bar, consulting/legal/accounting day was over, ESPN is on the tube. The trip home is late the next day or maybe even a day later because an extra day was booked just in case. Turns out not needed! Free time! And an attractive divorcee with a low cut dress and nice legs started flirting with them and it was clear a trip back to his or her room could take place. I am not talking prostitute, I am talking woman from his same company on the same trip who had one too many Daquiri's, or maybe an unknown girl who is clearly another business type at the end of the bar in town for "the convention" (whatever that may be at the hotel). They all feel the freedom.....no-one ever needs to know...

Now maybe they lied to me but they said the disengaged but I can see some 52 year old with four screwdrivers in him not doing the right thing and waking up the next morning with a hangover only rivaled by his guilt. "My God what have I done?".

I love my wife and have never cheated on her and I am sure likewise (27 years now!) but I wouldn't go to Vegas or Cabo without her and I don't think she would want to go without me.

This does not apply for a weekend trip to fish or golf for me or a weekend in NYC/Manhattan for her to shop with her gal pal best friends, all of whom you presumably know for many years. That then becomes complete paranoia and distrust.

This post was edited on 12/2/24 at 2:22 pm
Posted by madamsquirrel
The big somewhere out there
Member since Jul 2009
53433 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 2:14 pm to
Pro tip for the OT- if your wife does not know how to thwart unwanted attention/advances she is either unfortunate looking or a ho/has daddy issues or you ignore her and she knows exactly what she is doing.
Posted by Dire Wolf
bawcomville
Member since Sep 2008
38741 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 2:15 pm to
quote:

With the right temptation and opportunity, cheating is a danger for anyone. Mankind are fallen, fallible creatures. Which is why its wise to avoid such situations. It has nothing to do with “respect for her space “ or any such new age nonsense. So it very much depends on who is going where. If shes going on a shopping trip with the girls from church, then thats a self policing situation. If her partying friends want her to take a trip to Vegas, all kinds of alarms should be going off.



Even Jesus needed a vacation from his guys trip and he came back better for it
Posted by QuothTheRaven
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2019
244 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 2:19 pm to
quote:

No you're wrong. My college roommate is a Psychiatrist


That's amazing since my therapist told me exactly what I am preaching when I was going through my breakup with the ex that cheated on me. I blamed the friends, the trip, the fact that I worked all the time, ect. It's almost like there is more than one way for them to do their jobs.

It boils down to a person's moral compass. If they have weak morals, they will cheat, steal, do drugs, you name it. Using a situation, place, or people is an excuse to hide their lack of decent morals. While I do believe people can change, it's very rare.

quote:

Fortunately, many times it ends with "oh my God, it was just that one time" and that is the end of it.


And it ends like that because they face the consequences of their actions. They are not sorry or regretful because it was bad thing, it's because they got caught. Even people who admit to their spouse that they cheated can't live with hiding it because of the fear of being found out.

But hey, I am but a lowly chef. I guess that means I spent my 20s doing blow and fricking all of the wait staff. I never touched hard drugs outside of shrooms even though I was surrounded by all sorts of shite. I am also not a raging alcoholic. These are just my experiences and yet I'm wrong. Ok bro
Posted by Eurocat
Member since Apr 2004
15776 posts
Posted on 12/2/24 at 2:25 pm to
I have no idea if you are agreeing with me or disagreeing with me or being sarcastic or whatnot. Just sharing what I was told.

You seem like a nice guy and I truly wish you the best. Stay safe.

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