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Started By
Message
re: Wife going back to work this weekend..
Posted on 8/7/25 at 1:13 pm to LakeCharlesPirate
Posted on 8/7/25 at 1:13 pm to LakeCharlesPirate
“Wife is an ICU RN so she will be gone each day around 14 hours”
Wife will probably get pissed but that is not a good job for a mother.I spent 31 years in ICU,the job is stressful-physically,emotionally and intellectually,get home and really don’t have much left to do “mother” things.
I speak from experience,wife and I both worked ICU and in-laws watched them.
We weren’t particularly great parents .Get home and don’t feel like helping with homework,telling bedtime stories,let them talk about their day,etc. .Even if you go through the motions of doing it kids can tell your not enthused about it,they’re pretty perceptive.
Children thrive on routine and our lives were anything but.
Then we weren’t good about parenting things like making them pickup after theirselves,doing chores,yard work things like that ,that wife and I grew up doing.Wife was worse than me,she would just say she’d rather do it herself than fight with them.
Part of that was being at grandparents with no rules,trying to enforce rules at our house didn’t go so well.
Lack of consistency in day to day life creates problems.
They eventually turned out all right but we had some tough years and it took much longer than it should have..
Wife will probably get pissed but that is not a good job for a mother.I spent 31 years in ICU,the job is stressful-physically,emotionally and intellectually,get home and really don’t have much left to do “mother” things.
I speak from experience,wife and I both worked ICU and in-laws watched them.
We weren’t particularly great parents .Get home and don’t feel like helping with homework,telling bedtime stories,let them talk about their day,etc. .Even if you go through the motions of doing it kids can tell your not enthused about it,they’re pretty perceptive.
Children thrive on routine and our lives were anything but.
Then we weren’t good about parenting things like making them pickup after theirselves,doing chores,yard work things like that ,that wife and I grew up doing.Wife was worse than me,she would just say she’d rather do it herself than fight with them.
Part of that was being at grandparents with no rules,trying to enforce rules at our house didn’t go so well.
Lack of consistency in day to day life creates problems.
They eventually turned out all right but we had some tough years and it took much longer than it should have..
1
Posted on 8/7/25 at 1:13 pm to PensaTigers
quote:
I have twin boys that are two and idk how people bitch about child care. It aint that damn hard. My wife is in a twins group page on fb and the sob stories are insane.
I wouldn't want to do it all day every day, but I've done plenty of weekends solo with 3 under 4 and it's fine
you just throw money at it like everything else in life
Posted on 8/7/25 at 1:45 pm to LSUA 75
Yeah it's not the best situation ideally for us, the long hours and constant stress from the career takes a toll on my wife, but she won't be full time which is a blessing.
She wants to keep her license active and keep working due to the schooling she went through and for some independence, but she's going to be the PRN route now.
So thankfully she can work realistically whenever she wants to, just has to be "x" amount of days in a certain time frame. Basically she'll be working 10 days a month roughly.
She wants to keep her license active and keep working due to the schooling she went through and for some independence, but she's going to be the PRN route now.
So thankfully she can work realistically whenever she wants to, just has to be "x" amount of days in a certain time frame. Basically she'll be working 10 days a month roughly.
Posted on 8/7/25 at 1:46 pm to LakeCharlesPirate
quote:
I have ABSOLUTELY no clue how someone could not be excited to spend the time with their kids
My girlfriend of 9 years has a daughter. I entered her life when she was 5.
Her Dad had nothing to do with her ever, and the POS died last year by drug overdose.
His parents, her grandparents have nothing to do with her either…. It just floors me how not even the grandparents have anything to do with her.
Some people are just pure shite.
Posted on 8/7/25 at 1:50 pm to LakeCharlesPirate
quote:
I've had multiple people ask if I was "nervous" or "wasn't looking forward to it" since my wife and I usually are together with the baby once I get home from work.
First time dad, so i'm still over the moon about our baby and probably always will be. I'm super pumped to spend the next 3 days with our baby with no work, no plans, nothing, just hanging out and doing whatever comes up. It's a blessing to be a dad to a healthy and happy baby
going to let you in a little secret my bud Sun God once told me a few years back, “it’s actually easier and more relaxing to solo parent.” In short spurts of course. But it’s true, new moms are generally a little more wound up about doing everything just soo. (rightfully so, hormones and what not). With you, take your time, enjoy it, and if the kid survives you’ve done your job. I find my boys are a lot easier going around just me.
But from your post, I think you’re going to do great brother. Congrats!
Posted on 8/7/25 at 1:50 pm to Tigerbiscuits
quote:
0-6 months: Awe this is the most innocent and precious child. He/She naps every 1.5 hours and sleeps 4 hours twice each night. Life is bliss.
6-12 months: Awe this little baby has so much personality. Maybe they're starting to walk. Sleeping through the night and even saying Dada Mama.
12-24 months: This baby might be the GOAT at everything. Grandma says so, did you see them walk? They even threw a ball! They're so sweet and helpful too. How could anyone not enjoy this?
24-36 months: Oh this is my wild child, they sure are spicy. So much personality. It's ok if they say NO, they're just testing boundaries. They're going to be future leaders!
36-60 months: PLEASE GOD SOMEONE HELP ME WITH THIS SPAWN OF SATAN. WHY DOES IT ALWAYS SCREAM? WHY IS IT SO DIRTY?
SPOT
ON
Posted on 8/7/25 at 1:52 pm to Tigerbiscuits
Posted on 8/7/25 at 2:00 pm to LakeCharlesPirate
quote:
With all that being said, I have ABSOLUTELY no clue how someone could not be excited to spend the time with their kids, as many of my coworkers have expressed. Shitty dads? I'm not sure, i'm not going to judge, but it couldn't be me.
It’s ok to judge them. I know several dudes who legit can’t be left alone with their young kids for a day or so. Peter Pan man children.
Posted on 8/7/25 at 2:17 pm to LakeCharlesPirate
Enjoy your life and family
Posted on 8/7/25 at 2:38 pm to Klark Kent
Thanks for the insight and thanks for the congrats brother!
Posted on 8/7/25 at 2:55 pm to Klark Kent
quote:
going to let you in a little secret my bud Sun God once told me a few years back, “it’s actually easier and more relaxing to solo parent.” In short spurts of course. But it’s true, new moms are generally a little more wound up about doing everything just soo. (rightfully so, hormones and what not). With you, take your time, enjoy it, and if the kid survives you’ve done your job. I find my boys are a lot easier going around just me.
But from your post, I think you’re going to do great brother. Congrats!
My wife looked at me like she had just seen a ghost when I told her I took our 14 month old twins to Costco by myself for the first time.
I leave the house with the kids and bring the diaper bag maybe 25% of the time. She leaves the house with the kids and her entire trunk is packed to the gills with shite and it takes an extra 20 minutes to get all the stuff together and the car loaded in.
Posted on 8/7/25 at 3:37 pm to LakeCharlesPirate
quote:Are you even sure you're the dad?
Wife is an ICU RN so she will be gone each day around 14 hours
As far as looking forward......give it time........you'll come around.
Posted on 8/7/25 at 3:51 pm to LakeCharlesPirate
quote:
2 weeks planned
Too much. You didn’t give birth. Should get back to work sooner.
Posted on 8/7/25 at 3:52 pm to LakeCharlesPirate
quote:
Wife is an ICU RN
Do you know who the father is?
Posted on 8/7/25 at 3:54 pm to Cosmo
quote:Sure, let someone else raise your kid.
Get a nanny.
Best money you can spend
Posted on 8/7/25 at 3:59 pm to LakeCharlesPirate
By she, do you mean he? and yall adopted? Who's chest feeding?
Posted on 8/7/25 at 4:09 pm to LakeCharlesPirate
Dear facebook....
Posted on 8/7/25 at 4:20 pm to Tigers4Lyfe
Nah not the dad, but I am yours.
Posted on 8/7/25 at 4:20 pm to LakeCharlesPirate
Get an au pair from a terrible country. They’ll be desperate to stay and maybe you can smash on the side.
Posted on 8/7/25 at 4:22 pm to danilo
Spend your life at work cuck.
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