re: Why did you get divorced?

Mother issues?

When I asked my wife to marry me, I fully understood there would be many times we would fight and call each other names but that no matter how mad I would get at her, she would still be the best thing to ever happen to me and that I would always love her.

My wife feels the same. When we got married, we got married to each other for life. Not until we got tired of each other. For life. I’m a narcissistic sex-crazed maniac on here but in reality I like to think I’m a pretty good person. We go to church together and raise our kids together. We’ve grown together over the past 18 years (10 married years) and we continue to grow together.

Divorce is simply not an option for us. We’ve never allowed it to be an option and we’ll never allow it to be in the future. One of us is going to have to die for our marriage to end.

Call me old school.

This thread is a must read for any young bucks thinking about taking the plunge.

I think I’ve said on here before, my one solid piece of marital advice that I’d stand on is
Don’t ever put anyone through law school. I put her through school and could see how everything became an argument that revolved around her or what a shitty person I was.
And her family was legal also making it hard and expensive to get a lawyer. Small town politics. I finally found a lawyer who had an office in the back of a plumbing supply warehouse who had a dubious reputation . Chain smoking short fat guy. People on here knew him. Turns out he’s law review from LSU. Pretty smart guy. Weird but smart.
I thought we got lucky when we drew a judge that hated my father in law. I remember my lawyer saying, as he was lighting one cigarette off another “ well I hate to tell you but there’s only one lawyer around here that judge hates more than him”.
I’m pretty sure I’m screwed. Wound up having my child support based on Money I borrowed not on earnings. Paying child support even though I’m in debt and she is working.
Lawyer told me I would have won on appeal, I didn’t have the money or the time.
Many years ago and water under the bridge. I’m happy now. She’s still miserable

Kartina,

Which time

My divorce was kinda complex and shite is crazy and I’m super blessed it happened.

Me and the Ex just weren’t giving much anymore, she had a bunch of female issues, and I also didn’t think I was very fertile. Tried for a kid for 10 years, (longest 10 damn years of my life) we finally both mutually parted ways, but she was secretly seeing someone else(of course she was, that whore)... 4 months later she ended up getting pregnant for the other guy and it was pretty fricking crushing and I felt cursed and pretty much didn’t give a shite about my existence much anymore, until I found my current Fiancé. She told me up front that she had some female issues and probably can’t have kids and I told her well I don’t think I can either, so it was basically a cool deal let’s go with this. She had 3 surgeries within a year and was about to get a 4th until she took a pregnancy test and she was pregnant! So we are currently 5 months in now and my baby boy will be arriving in August and I couldn’t be more happy. I can’t wait! I’m so freaking excited to be a dad. We are getting married in Dec

kingbob, damn. That biological clock thing is real. Have you thought about moving out of BR? During my time in BR I noticed it was very cliquish and chicks got married early and wanted babies right away in their early to mid twenties.

Bigger cities allow for greater opportunity to find professional women with real careers that match you being a lawyer. When I left BR it was like a breathe of fresh air. Dated my future wife for over a year after leaving BR. Way more career opportunities and life just fell into place after LSU. Not shitting on BR, it works for some people. However, a change may help you in the long run.

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Why did you get divorced?

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She divorced me. It wasn't one single thing and there was nothing that happened that couldn't be fixed at least to my knowledge at the time had she bothered to try. Plenty of blame to go around on both sides of the equation.

We were raised VERY differently. My former MIL has (even now) the spine of a jellyfish when it comes to putting the ex in her place. My ex-FIL worked at Dow for 25-30 years and worked every extra shift he could so he wasn't around much to give the ex a firm smack down when she needed it. Thus the ex ran the house with almost zero accountability.
Think...

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There were warning signs all over the place that should have caused me to run. Deep down I knew it wasn't right.

Also she showed herself to be lazy as frick as the marriage went on.

Of course I have my own faults that I readily admit, but struggled to address or relax on expectations (nothing unreasonable). We also had very different communication styles. She liked to punch you in the mouth, so to speak, when it came to disagreements. I, on the other hand, tried to take a more measured approach. That is until she poked the bear.

She denies it, but there's pretty strong evidence to suggest that she cheated on me. Obviously, this would have been a deal breaker if confirmed or admitted. She tried to project those issues on to me.

Boiling it down, respect, trust and communication were all issues leading to the divorce.

Ultimately, outside of how this affects our kids (9 & 11), I'm glad it's over.

It's about to be 4 years since we divorced and it's only now starting to get a little better when it comes to dealing with her. The first 2+ years were absolute torture especially when she'd weaponize the kids against me.