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re: Who makes the financial decisions in your relationship?

Posted on 3/27/18 at 9:07 am to
Posted by Epic Cajun
Lafayette, LA
Member since Feb 2013
37042 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 9:07 am to
quote:

We have a joint checking for bills and a joint savings account but separate spending accounts. We each transfer a certain amount into the spending accounts every other Friday.

ETA - I pay all of the bills/manage the money

Same situation for us. It works the best for us, we pool our money and split the spending money equally between us. That way, personal purchases aren't questioned.

ETA: a lot of our bills are auto-pay now. There are only maybe 5 bills that I manually pay.
This post was edited on 3/27/18 at 9:20 am
Posted by notiger1997
Metairie
Member since May 2009
61723 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 9:08 am to
Team effort.
My wife was a finance manager and used to be an investment advisor, so she knows more than me.
Posted by Evil Little Thing
Member since Jul 2013
11622 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 9:21 am to
I've done it both ways, and see the pluses/minuses of both. Everything was combined in my marriage. He wanted nothing to do with the accounts, and never logged in to check. I hated handling everything, but it was easy to manage since all income was hitting the same account.

Current relationship, he pays all of the bills. I transfer a set amount of money to him each month for my portion, which he sticks in savings or uses for our big purchases. We discuss purchases over a few hundred, but it's not a permission thing; it's mostly just discussing things we want/day to day activities. We take turns buying groceries/entertainment. We don't have some specific system, but it's worked well for us.

I'm probably more jaded since I had to go through the process of untangling accounts, but I really don't have an interest in combining accounts again.
Posted by TbirdSpur2010
ALAMO CITY
Member since Dec 2010
134141 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 9:27 am to
quote:

he thinks it's crazy that my wife and I manage our money separately.


You should listen to your friend.
Posted by LSUBoo
Knoxville, TN
Member since Mar 2006
104023 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 9:28 am to
quote:

ETA: a lot of our bills are auto-pay now. There are only maybe 5 bills that I manually pay.


The only one I manually pay is our mortgage, everything else autodrafts. And I could just set up the mortgage to do the same really... not sure why I don't. It's never going to bounce unless there is something really crazy going on.
Posted by MSMHater
Houston
Member since Oct 2008
23247 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 9:36 am to
quote:

He said he thinks it's crazy that my wife and I manage our money separately.


I think you're doing it right. My wife and I did it that way for 19 years. It worked well. We only combined accounts when she completely relinquished control of any financial decisions (outside of student loan or mortgage considerations).
This post was edited on 3/27/18 at 9:37 am
Posted by LSU6262
Member since Jun 2008
8030 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 9:39 am to
We have our "own" account but we are joint owners on each. She transfers the same amount to me every pay day and I pay the bills and fund the savings.

We use credit cards for everything we can though and she is an authorized user on mine and I'm on hers.

Posted by sjmabry
Texas
Member since Aug 2013
18947 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 10:15 am to
We make joint financial decision in my household.
Posted by Barstools
Atlanta
Member since Jan 2016
11814 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 10:21 am to
Can't tell if OP is bragging about having a wife or making $20k purchases.
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
33050 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 10:21 am to
Damn, didn't even make it 3 years?
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
33050 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 10:30 am to
We are on the hybrid system too.

We have separate CCs, checking accounts, retirement accounts, etc... But we have shared savings accounts. We each pay certain bills ( for example: I pay utilities and mortgage, she pays daycare and groceries).

We have a $500 limit on things where we discuss the pros vs cons of the purchase. We both make great money for the area, so finances are not something we put too much thought into.
Posted by Captain Ray
Member since Nov 2016
1589 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 11:46 am to
I am da head of my house! Sadly the wife is the neck that turns it.
Posted by Pecker
Rocky Top
Member since May 2015
16674 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 12:07 pm to
quote:

We are on the hybrid system too.

We have separate CCs, checking accounts, retirement accounts, etc... But we have shared savings accounts. We each pay certain bills ( for example: I pay utilities and mortgage, she pays daycare and groceries).

We have a $500 limit on things where we discuss the pros vs cons of the purchase. We both make great money for the area, so finances are not something we put too much thought into.


Yeah, your system is close to what we do. I didn't say 20k to suggest that we make those kinds of purchases all the time. I was basically saying that there's no set dollar amount that we're not "allowed" to spend independently. We'll mention it though if it gets into that range.

For the most part we split everything down the middle. And we do a lot of planning for the things we share the cost on. If she wants to sell her car and buy another one, she doesn't have to tell me or sit down with me and discuss the details. It's her money and she can handle it unless she wants my input. That might seem strange but we're both independent. So I guess we each needed a partner who thought that way as well.
Posted by chrome_daddy
LA (Lower Ashvegas)
Member since May 2004
2561 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 12:12 pm to
Finances is just another thing we plan and execute together. We have a plan through when the kids are gone (and we get to hit the road) and enjoy building toward that.

That said, she pays for any non-auto-pay bills but we talk and plan for major expenditures (such as a car, vacation, etc.) as we like to be able to pay for it immediately. Luckily, she's like me as we're not big spenders. She has her nails and tanning expense but just doesn't spend much money (like other women apparently). And she works and makes good money.

I'm the one with the spreadsheet and look at things monthly. I can't imagine being in a relationship where you/your spouse don't share everything.

On the other hand, a friend is going through a divorce where they never had shared accounts. The difference between his ex and my wife is his ex has no control over her spending habits and is in some serious credit card debt now, one of the primary reasons they are splitting.

I guess the difference is I'd never consider being with someone that I can't trust with my finances.

Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
53516 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 12:13 pm to
quote:

Same situation for us. It works the best for us, we pool our money and split the spending money equally between us. That way, personal purchases aren't questioned.

Yep. We've been doing that for about 7-8 years and it works best for us
Posted by Lsupimp
Ersatz Amerika-97.6% phony & fake
Member since Nov 2003
86161 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 12:15 pm to
It's not efficient to have two accounts and two people tracking finances. Mrs. Pimp doesn't work (I'm not an OT Beta). All our money goes into a joint. She handles all bills (she's got an accounting degree ). We go over finances once a month, make decisions about our family and future TOGETHER and she gives me spread sheets. I generally handle all investments/retirement stuff.
Posted by FLObserver
Jacksonville
Member since Nov 2005
16083 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 12:16 pm to
quote:

He said he thinks it's crazy that my wife and I manage our money separately.

Call me crazy then.
We have separate accounts. We have both been thru divorces though. That makes the decision alot easier. We make alot of decisions together but i usually have the final say so since i make almost all the money
This post was edited on 3/27/18 at 12:21 pm
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
33050 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 12:21 pm to
quote:

Mrs. Pimp doesn't work
quote:

she's got an accounting degree

Expensive spread sheets she gives you every month.

Dual income it great, btw.
Posted by Pecker
Rocky Top
Member since May 2015
16674 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 12:31 pm to
quote:

Expensive spread sheets she gives you every month.

Dual income it great, btw.


Generational thing. Unless a woman is at home taking care of small children, I think it’s odd to not be working. I say this as someone whose mom didn’t work.

Like even if you don’t need the extra income, why don’t you at least attempt to kick something in that pot.

If you don’t work, you better be a good cook and you better look amazing. And you should be willing to give me a blowy all hours of the day, even when I’m not in the mood.
Posted by Lsupimp
Ersatz Amerika-97.6% phony & fake
Member since Nov 2003
86161 posts
Posted on 3/27/18 at 12:34 pm to
quote:

Expensive spread sheets she gives you every month.
Dual income it great, btw.


It's not expensive. It's an incredible increase in quality of life for the five of us. If we needed a dual income, she'd work. We don't, so she doesn't. Pretty simple.
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