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re: Who makes the financial decisions in your relationship?
Posted on 3/27/18 at 9:07 am to fallguy_1978
Posted on 3/27/18 at 9:07 am to fallguy_1978
quote:
We have a joint checking for bills and a joint savings account but separate spending accounts. We each transfer a certain amount into the spending accounts every other Friday.
ETA - I pay all of the bills/manage the money
Same situation for us. It works the best for us, we pool our money and split the spending money equally between us. That way, personal purchases aren't questioned.
ETA: a lot of our bills are auto-pay now. There are only maybe 5 bills that I manually pay.
This post was edited on 3/27/18 at 9:20 am
2
Posted on 3/27/18 at 9:08 am to Pecker
Team effort.
My wife was a finance manager and used to be an investment advisor, so she knows more than me.
My wife was a finance manager and used to be an investment advisor, so she knows more than me.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 9:21 am to Pecker
I've done it both ways, and see the pluses/minuses of both. Everything was combined in my marriage. He wanted nothing to do with the accounts, and never logged in to check. I hated handling everything, but it was easy to manage since all income was hitting the same account.
Current relationship, he pays all of the bills. I transfer a set amount of money to him each month for my portion, which he sticks in savings or uses for our big purchases. We discuss purchases over a few hundred, but it's not a permission thing; it's mostly just discussing things we want/day to day activities. We take turns buying groceries/entertainment. We don't have some specific system, but it's worked well for us.
I'm probably more jaded since I had to go through the process of untangling accounts, but I really don't have an interest in combining accounts again.
Current relationship, he pays all of the bills. I transfer a set amount of money to him each month for my portion, which he sticks in savings or uses for our big purchases. We discuss purchases over a few hundred, but it's not a permission thing; it's mostly just discussing things we want/day to day activities. We take turns buying groceries/entertainment. We don't have some specific system, but it's worked well for us.
I'm probably more jaded since I had to go through the process of untangling accounts, but I really don't have an interest in combining accounts again.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 9:27 am to Pecker
quote:
he thinks it's crazy that my wife and I manage our money separately.
You should listen to your friend.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 9:28 am to Epic Cajun
quote:
ETA: a lot of our bills are auto-pay now. There are only maybe 5 bills that I manually pay.
The only one I manually pay is our mortgage, everything else autodrafts. And I could just set up the mortgage to do the same really... not sure why I don't. It's never going to bounce unless there is something really crazy going on.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 9:36 am to Pecker
quote:
He said he thinks it's crazy that my wife and I manage our money separately.
I think you're doing it right. My wife and I did it that way for 19 years. It worked well. We only combined accounts when she completely relinquished control of any financial decisions (outside of student loan or mortgage considerations).
This post was edited on 3/27/18 at 9:37 am
Posted on 3/27/18 at 9:39 am to Pecker
We have our "own" account but we are joint owners on each. She transfers the same amount to me every pay day and I pay the bills and fund the savings.
We use credit cards for everything we can though and she is an authorized user on mine and I'm on hers.
We use credit cards for everything we can though and she is an authorized user on mine and I'm on hers.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 10:15 am to LSU6262
We make joint financial decision in my household.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 10:21 am to Pecker
Can't tell if OP is bragging about having a wife or making $20k purchases.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 10:21 am to Bama and Beer
Damn, didn't even make it 3 years?
Posted on 3/27/18 at 10:30 am to Pecker
We are on the hybrid system too.
We have separate CCs, checking accounts, retirement accounts, etc... But we have shared savings accounts. We each pay certain bills ( for example: I pay utilities and mortgage, she pays daycare and groceries).
We have a $500 limit on things where we discuss the pros vs cons of the purchase. We both make great money for the area, so finances are not something we put too much thought into.
We have separate CCs, checking accounts, retirement accounts, etc... But we have shared savings accounts. We each pay certain bills ( for example: I pay utilities and mortgage, she pays daycare and groceries).
We have a $500 limit on things where we discuss the pros vs cons of the purchase. We both make great money for the area, so finances are not something we put too much thought into.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 11:46 am to Displaced
I am da head of my house! Sadly the wife is the neck that turns it.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 12:07 pm to Displaced
quote:
We are on the hybrid system too.
We have separate CCs, checking accounts, retirement accounts, etc... But we have shared savings accounts. We each pay certain bills ( for example: I pay utilities and mortgage, she pays daycare and groceries).
We have a $500 limit on things where we discuss the pros vs cons of the purchase. We both make great money for the area, so finances are not something we put too much thought into.
Yeah, your system is close to what we do. I didn't say 20k to suggest that we make those kinds of purchases all the time. I was basically saying that there's no set dollar amount that we're not "allowed" to spend independently. We'll mention it though if it gets into that range.
For the most part we split everything down the middle. And we do a lot of planning for the things we share the cost on. If she wants to sell her car and buy another one, she doesn't have to tell me or sit down with me and discuss the details. It's her money and she can handle it unless she wants my input. That might seem strange but we're both independent. So I guess we each needed a partner who thought that way as well.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 12:12 pm to Pecker
Finances is just another thing we plan and execute together. We have a plan through when the kids are gone (and we get to hit the road) and enjoy building toward that.
That said, she pays for any non-auto-pay bills but we talk and plan for major expenditures (such as a car, vacation, etc.) as we like to be able to pay for it immediately. Luckily, she's like me as we're not big spenders. She has her nails and tanning expense but just doesn't spend much money (like other women apparently). And she works and makes good money.
I'm the one with the spreadsheet and look at things monthly. I can't imagine being in a relationship where you/your spouse don't share everything.
On the other hand, a friend is going through a divorce where they never had shared accounts. The difference between his ex and my wife is his ex has no control over her spending habits and is in some serious credit card debt now, one of the primary reasons they are splitting.
I guess the difference is I'd never consider being with someone that I can't trust with my finances.
That said, she pays for any non-auto-pay bills but we talk and plan for major expenditures (such as a car, vacation, etc.) as we like to be able to pay for it immediately. Luckily, she's like me as we're not big spenders. She has her nails and tanning expense but just doesn't spend much money (like other women apparently). And she works and makes good money.
I'm the one with the spreadsheet and look at things monthly. I can't imagine being in a relationship where you/your spouse don't share everything.
On the other hand, a friend is going through a divorce where they never had shared accounts. The difference between his ex and my wife is his ex has no control over her spending habits and is in some serious credit card debt now, one of the primary reasons they are splitting.
I guess the difference is I'd never consider being with someone that I can't trust with my finances.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 12:13 pm to Epic Cajun
quote:
Same situation for us. It works the best for us, we pool our money and split the spending money equally between us. That way, personal purchases aren't questioned.
Yep. We've been doing that for about 7-8 years and it works best for us
Posted on 3/27/18 at 12:15 pm to Pecker
It's not efficient to have two accounts and two people tracking finances. Mrs. Pimp doesn't work (I'm not an OT Beta). All our money goes into a joint. She handles all bills (she's got an accounting degree ). We go over finances once a month, make decisions about our family and future TOGETHER and she gives me spread sheets. I generally handle all investments/retirement stuff.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 12:16 pm to Pecker
quote:
He said he thinks it's crazy that my wife and I manage our money separately.
Call me crazy then.
We have separate accounts. We have both been thru divorces though. That makes the decision alot easier. We make alot of decisions together but i usually have the final say so since i make almost all the money
This post was edited on 3/27/18 at 12:21 pm
Posted on 3/27/18 at 12:21 pm to Lsupimp
quote:
Mrs. Pimp doesn't work
quote:
she's got an accounting degree
Expensive spread sheets she gives you every month.
Dual income it great, btw.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 12:31 pm to Displaced
quote:
Expensive spread sheets she gives you every month.
Dual income it great, btw.
Generational thing. Unless a woman is at home taking care of small children, I think it’s odd to not be working. I say this as someone whose mom didn’t work.
Like even if you don’t need the extra income, why don’t you at least attempt to kick something in that pot.
If you don’t work, you better be a good cook and you better look amazing. And you should be willing to give me a blowy all hours of the day, even when I’m not in the mood.
Posted on 3/27/18 at 12:34 pm to Displaced
quote:
Expensive spread sheets she gives you every month.
Dual income it great, btw.
It's not expensive. It's an incredible increase in quality of life for the five of us. If we needed a dual income, she'd work. We don't, so she doesn't. Pretty simple.
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