re: Who all has dealt with elder parent care? I figure a lot of people here now

Difficult thread to read, seeing it from both sides

I did end of life care for wife's mother and father at different times, about 6 months each. Thoughts.

You do the best you can nothing less nothing more

Medical profession is totally fractured, aimed at getting you out the door

Hoarding becomes a problem news papers, containers, pills etc. I think the concern is loosing control over future events.

Pain management is a huge problem , competently managed by Hospice but not by hospitals

Its lonely but long visits are wearing

Bath room issues are real, embarrassing, and need help. Roll in shower and a 21 inch high toilet, large cloths hamper

Listening is slow due to hearing and processing



Thoughts about me being 77

Had a great life, would not change a thing

As an elderly, you get left out of conversations, ignored, feel less valued

Doctor asks how is your pain level, response is better but not at all good

Its expensive, even with medicare advantage, the wife and I claimed 45,000 on our last tax return without assisted living or home care.

Grocery cart makes a great walker. New car technology is totally confusing and a hazard.

The older you live the smaller the funeral as your friends have all died off.




that's probably enough

Thanks for your thoughts from both sides.

I guess it is something for all of us to have some preparations for both ways.

Are people living too long or just ruined “early” bc of environment and dismal medical field? Our grandparents lived to old age mostly without so much dementia and Alzheimers. And I have read of patients with Alzheimer’s having cancer surgery. Why? Why are we prolonging life just to breathe? Assisted living seems to be a criminal racket making someone millions at the cost of families or life savings.

Understand that, but why. There is no point in a longer lifespan to revert to diapers and a shell. I’ll never do that to my kids.

I don’t know. But we don’t allow our pets to suffer and let them go with dignity. For me, there’s always a bridge or pills. Or the cheapest nursing home with my assets in a trust. It’s just sad people reach their golden years and should be enjoying what they’ve sown vs what seems to be happening. Reading stuff like this just continues to push me to earlier retirement to hopefully have some good time to enjoy.

Let's be honest though. Hospice gets you there quicker by keeping the morphine loaded. You get enough morphine and then you stop breathing. I 100 percent agree with them and would encourage using them in any terminal situation. But no sense in acting like they can't help speed up the process.

quote:

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Make the best decisions you can on available information. Don't beat yourself up later if you think you could have done better. Don't ruin your health trying to take care of them.

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best advice there is