re: Which weapon of opportunity are you going for in an all out bar brawl?

quote:

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Martini


You’d be in the bathroom changing your tampon.

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This

This woman has a different choice.

Police responded to a fight in progress at Rizzo's, 6 W. Jefferson Ave., around 12:44 a.m. Sunday. Officers discovered a fight had broken out on the second floor of the bar, police said.
As a result of the fight, one man was transported to the hospital after suffering facial lacerations. An employee was also injured after being "intentionally hit in the face by a stiletto style shoe," police said.



LINK

My college roommate got into a fight with Hootie & the Blowfish in a local bar at 3:00 one afternoon in 1996. He ended up breaking a pool stick and going after Darius.

So...I guess a pool stick.

This reminds me of something that happened during my undergrad years at Columbia.

Story time: I was enjoying a nice apple cider on a crisp fall day when some neanderthal drifter came barging into the speakeasy with humdrum clothing, wreaking of booze and fast food, yelling at the barista demanding he be allowed to use the latrine.

Already in a foul mood thanks to the A- I received on my Introduction to Latin American Music Appreciation midterm, i quickly had enough of this bozo's demeanor and, with a conspicuous inflection in my voice, I yelled at the dullard: "Why don't you scram?" He turned and looked at me as if i had three heads. I rose from my seat and reached for the nearest apparatus...an umbrella. Of all things!

I extended and dislodged the umbrella, much to the shagrin of my indoor superstitions, abd as it popped into form with an audible "whooosh," the oaf did a 180 and scurried out of the establishment.

I was treated to a free fat-free non gmo organic gluten free nut free all natural apple tart.

What a harrowing experience. I would unequivocally detest someone if they had the gall to do such a thing to me. It’s unacceptable and downright cruel.

People want you to feel less powerful and it’s sickening.

There is a reason you brought me on to deal with this.

Sade - No Ordinary Love

Are you sure it was an umbrella and not a parasol?

Good job dispatching of the ruffian

Cue ball in a tube sock.