re: When did you know you capped out in life?

I hope you’re still reading replies, because I want to encourage you to read “Feeling Good” by David Burns.

He does a great job of helping you overcome distorted thinking. And we all have distorted thinking to a degree.

You matter, brother.

I'm 40, and I'm feeling it a little in flashes, but I'm not quite there yet. I really don't know how I've kept it going. Some days are very hard, but some are very satisfying. I'm still fighting the war on cynicism. I haven't given up yet.

Family - I love where we are and I can't wait for the future. My wife is doing so well, and she loves her adopted hometown - people have been so nice to her and I've never seen her this social. It's awesome seeing her so happy. My kids are awesome, and I love every minute with them. It's a tragedy but I have the baggage of knowing I'm in the good old days now. I'm going to remember these days forever and I am worried I'm not living them up enough. I don't think I'll be alive to see my grand children. It's weird knowing that my adorable 7 month old is likely the last baby I'll be able to hold in my life.

Physical health - probably peaked 15 years ago LOL. My "physically fit" days seem to be behind me although I'd like to improve this. I have some health issues that aren't getting better. I just have to live with it. Working on getting into better shape. But nothing about my health is going to make me 25 again. I admittedly allocate the least of my very precious and limited time towards this.

Psychological burn out - I still have the fire, but I sometimes feel like I'm losing grip on it. Like I'm tired in ways that sleep won't help, and I think my wife is too. It's the constant drain of work, community, family, etc - it's hard to invest in myself when the days are so short. Wife and I are planning a child-free trip later this year. Maybe Vegas or something really stupid but low stress (willing to take suggestions for non-beach people). I've recently gotten involved with a couple of charities and volunteer roles that help with this, and it's helped to expand my social circle too. Otherwise I seriously value my "tractor time" when I'm truly alone with my earbuds and not being bothered by work or anyone. I also try to make sure my wife has some of that "alone" time for her too.

Community: I still want to see massive success for my friends and family - and my community. I am fanatical about doing business with people who do business with us, and I love seeing my friends do well. I'm working hard to help my local church and I'm always providing support for friends. I'm working with local charities to help those in dire need. And I get a lot of satisfaction seeing my community and friends improve a little bit from my help. I'm far from curmudgeon status here. I see my dad hitting that wall and it's sad; there are people his age that I volunteer with who still have that motivation.

Career - I think my earnings relative to COL has not quite peaked, but I'm probably a few years away from that. My motivation for climbing the ladder has declined, and I've taken a role that is slightly less stressful with less upward mobility but allows for more time to build my side hustle. My goals now are on the defensive side - I'm trying to invest and secure a "side hustle" with passive income that my children can inherit and build on their own. The better I can build that side hustle, the more I can secure my children's long term future. An ancillary benefit of this is that I've helped two friends build their business too in the process. I've got a good team - and I'm still constantly looking for more opportunities to expand.

I had set not so much goals but expectations for myself. By 35 I was married, owned a house in the neighborhood where I'd grown up, had 3 kids and made partner in my firm. I could have said, "Well, it's all downhill from here." Or I could have kept thinking of milestones to hit, with an increase in pressure. Instead, I focused on what I had already built; primarily my marriage and my kids. Everything else was gravy. I've lived a happy, satisfied life.

quote:

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34 going on 35

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Damn baw, at 35 I got my MBA, switched careers and moved across the country. And now just had my first child.

Feel like I'm just getting started.

You're overthinking it baw. Take a walk. If you have a dog, take it for a walk with you. Enjoy the day.

Drink
Cigars
Junk food

Travel

Great points