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re: What's The Funniest Thing You Witnessed in Person?
Posted on 7/3/16 at 9:23 pm to BRgetthenet
Posted on 7/3/16 at 9:23 pm to BRgetthenet
quote:
He was on opioids.
Opioids create torrents of shite? I did not know that.
2
Posted on 7/3/16 at 9:32 pm to BRgetthenet
Not if he had the squirts, unless he was withdrawing
This post was edited on 7/3/16 at 9:33 pm
Posted on 7/3/16 at 9:36 pm to OweO
About 15 different takes of Will Ferrell & Zach Galifinakis improvising a movie scene.
Posted on 7/3/16 at 9:36 pm to BRgetthenet
liar
Posted on 7/3/16 at 9:48 pm to OweO
My buddy and I, known each other since pre-school, were out at some trashy bar in Cleveland MS one night. We were probably 20. Anyways, my buddy tells me that he has this girl that wants to go home with him. I had a hunting cabin that I basically lived in when I was home. So we all load up and drive the 30 or so minutes to mu cabin.
The cabin is the host of a lot of parties at the time, so the living room and kitchen are pretty dirty. As I mostly cared about keeping the bedrooms clean. There is this couch, a pullout, that no one has slept on/sat on in ages that was just pushed into a corner.
So we get there and I decide that I have done my wingman duties and let him use my place to bed down this undesirable. My, buddy at the time has a broken ankle on one leg and a broken tibia on the other and is in a boot and a cast. I wake come to and need to go turn the thermostat up. I walk into the living room to see a cast and a boot in the air. My buddy is on his hands and knees cleaning this pullout couch. While he is doing this the girl says "Oh my gosh is that rat poop?". My buddy without missing a beat proclaims "Naw baby that's just dirt, that's just dirt, don't worry about it."
ETA: It was rat shite, if you were unsure. The couch was old an crusty. That same guy has made for some of the funniest stuff I have ever seen. He tried to give a guy a swirly once in the drunk tank.
The cabin is the host of a lot of parties at the time, so the living room and kitchen are pretty dirty. As I mostly cared about keeping the bedrooms clean. There is this couch, a pullout, that no one has slept on/sat on in ages that was just pushed into a corner.
So we get there and I decide that I have done my wingman duties and let him use my place to bed down this undesirable. My, buddy at the time has a broken ankle on one leg and a broken tibia on the other and is in a boot and a cast. I wake come to and need to go turn the thermostat up. I walk into the living room to see a cast and a boot in the air. My buddy is on his hands and knees cleaning this pullout couch. While he is doing this the girl says "Oh my gosh is that rat poop?". My buddy without missing a beat proclaims "Naw baby that's just dirt, that's just dirt, don't worry about it."
ETA: It was rat shite, if you were unsure. The couch was old an crusty. That same guy has made for some of the funniest stuff I have ever seen. He tried to give a guy a swirly once in the drunk tank.
This post was edited on 7/3/16 at 9:50 pm
Posted on 7/3/16 at 10:15 pm to llfshoals
Did not happen.
Posted on 7/3/16 at 10:18 pm to MontanaMax
my drunk friend sleep walking got up and squat like a girl and take a piss on my parents carpeted floor.
another friend shoot a hole through a windshield of a truck while waving a gun around listening to gangsters paradise on the way home from the bar
And last but not least a stripper took my friends beer bottle and "used it" for about 5 minutes then my buddy drank the rest of it when she was done.. Two other buddies were fighting over who's beer was next hahahah
another friend shoot a hole through a windshield of a truck while waving a gun around listening to gangsters paradise on the way home from the bar
And last but not least a stripper took my friends beer bottle and "used it" for about 5 minutes then my buddy drank the rest of it when she was done.. Two other buddies were fighting over who's beer was next hahahah
Posted on 7/3/16 at 10:24 pm to OweO
At a high school party back in the day a girl a couple years younger than me got shite faced drunk. Me and my buddy are sitting there and we are watching her trying to get outside. Well she keeps pushing on the door to go outside but the only problem is the door opens to the inside and needs to be pulled to open it. When she finally realizes this she yanks on the door so hard it comes back and hits her in the head and knocks her onto the floor. I soon as she hits the floor she projectile vomits and then passes out. Me and my buddy lost it. We still talk about it to this day everytime we see her and it has been over twenty years.
Posted on 7/3/16 at 10:24 pm to daltonvol
This bar called "The Call of the Wild" in Big Lake, Ak. Only accessible by boat or ice road in winter. Lots of on premise pot smoking and heavy drinking.
Anyway, first time I went there they had some dude naked, strapped to the wall and women playing ring toss with his ....
It got stranger from there.
Anyway, first time I went there they had some dude naked, strapped to the wall and women playing ring toss with his ....
It got stranger from there.
Posted on 7/3/16 at 11:51 pm to RogerTheShrubber
So I'm in Lockett Hall taking a math class in one of those small rooms. The teacher was a foreign woman who just learned to speak English a few minutes before class started. We had them old style desk with wooden seats.
There was this girl who sat in front of me and always used the class as an opportunity to take a nap. She was a pretty decent looking girl with shoulder length hair and a nice body. She would lie on her desk in such a way so her arse was slightly lifted off the seat and her a-hole was just barely kissing the seat.
Anyway, one morning this girl is taking her usual nap and lets out one of the loudest farts I had ever heard. It reverberated off that wooden seat like an angry tuba tune. Me and this guy sitting next to me knew immediately it was her. Time and everything just stopped. The rest of the class turned around and had that look on their faces like, "What was that?" The foreign teacher was dazed and speaking gibberish while trying to identify the sound. Meanwhile the girl is still pretending to be asleep. Since she was the only one that didn't react, it soon dawned on the rest of the class that it was she that dealt it.
I never laughed so hard in my life. Me and the guy next to me nearly died from trying to contain our laughter. We had our face in our hands and we were bouncing in our seats form the silent belly laughs.
On my way to the next class I was still laughing even though I had a headache and was crying.
The next time we had that class I was still laughing. But the girl didn't show up and apparently dropped the class.
There was this girl who sat in front of me and always used the class as an opportunity to take a nap. She was a pretty decent looking girl with shoulder length hair and a nice body. She would lie on her desk in such a way so her arse was slightly lifted off the seat and her a-hole was just barely kissing the seat.
Anyway, one morning this girl is taking her usual nap and lets out one of the loudest farts I had ever heard. It reverberated off that wooden seat like an angry tuba tune. Me and this guy sitting next to me knew immediately it was her. Time and everything just stopped. The rest of the class turned around and had that look on their faces like, "What was that?" The foreign teacher was dazed and speaking gibberish while trying to identify the sound. Meanwhile the girl is still pretending to be asleep. Since she was the only one that didn't react, it soon dawned on the rest of the class that it was she that dealt it.
I never laughed so hard in my life. Me and the guy next to me nearly died from trying to contain our laughter. We had our face in our hands and we were bouncing in our seats form the silent belly laughs.
On my way to the next class I was still laughing even though I had a headache and was crying.
The next time we had that class I was still laughing. But the girl didn't show up and apparently dropped the class.
Posted on 7/4/16 at 12:29 am to OweO
About 35 years ago I was in a upper floor hotel room next to the water in San Diego, the siding door to my balcony was open and I heard a woman screaming. I stepped out to see what was going on and saw a fat woman chasing a Cadillac down the hill next to the hotel. The car was picked up speed went off the road onto the pier and right off the end into the water. She made it to the end of the pier just in time to see the car totally vanish under the water. Found out later her husband had bought it for her the day before.
Posted on 7/4/16 at 12:46 am to RogerTheShrubber
Posted on 7/4/16 at 12:50 am to OweO
Couple of years ago, went to a convention with some friends in Dallas, TX. Anyway, my friend Lance (he's black, it's important for this story) was chilling in our room and we were all pretty drunk. Anyhow, there was a party going on in the room a couple doors down from us and we wanted to "shock" them I guess you could say or just do something jackass-esque. Well, Lance just gets up and tells me to follow him. He throws his shirt off, swings the door open and screams, "Someone save my black arse!". Well,the plan was for me to run after him but I fell flat on my face from laughing so hard, but what made it so great is there was this black girl right outside the door and her face was pure horror. First time I ever pissed myself laughing.
Posted on 7/4/16 at 1:32 am to OweO
A friend of mine was in LOVE with this chick who was pretty cute and had a nice place in Sharlo, when Sharlo was decent.
She invited the dude who was crushing on her and myself over and some other friends for after Reggie's drinks.
Buddy who loved this chick could not handle his party favors. About a half hour after passing out, he got up, and pissed all over her coffee table and then freaked out that there was no Handle to flush. Then he saw us, kind of realized what happened and ran out.
He actually walked all the way home to the Garden District. I felt bad for him.
Worst yet, there was shrinkage and a lot of chicks where there. It had to be 8-10 people who saw that. 15 years later I see him around and still give him shite for it.
She invited the dude who was crushing on her and myself over and some other friends for after Reggie's drinks.
Buddy who loved this chick could not handle his party favors. About a half hour after passing out, he got up, and pissed all over her coffee table and then freaked out that there was no Handle to flush. Then he saw us, kind of realized what happened and ran out.
He actually walked all the way home to the Garden District. I felt bad for him.
Worst yet, there was shrinkage and a lot of chicks where there. It had to be 8-10 people who saw that. 15 years later I see him around and still give him shite for it.
Posted on 7/4/16 at 10:10 am to BowDownToLSU
quote:
This was back in the late 70's ( we were 12-14) on the school bus. This one kid stuck a fireball (candy) up his own arse, put it back in the wrapper and gave to a guy he didn't like
Did the fireball burn his arse?
Posted on 7/4/16 at 10:39 am to OweO
two frat guys in austin cruising around harassing gays. Frat guys jump out of their BMW and attack two gay guys. Gay guys beat the literal f'k out of the frat guys and walked away. Frat guys jump in BMW, chase gay guys down again. Gay guys beat the f'k out of frat guys again.
Was sitting outside of a club with some other people. Everyone laughing their asses off at these frat guys.
Was sitting outside of a club with some other people. Everyone laughing their asses off at these frat guys.
Posted on 7/4/16 at 10:42 am to OweO
quote:
but everyone was watching out the window
The window was too high for you to see out of, wasn't it?
Posted on 7/4/16 at 10:59 am to Langland
quote:
On my way to the next class I was still laughing even though I had a headache and was crying.
The next time we had that class I was still laughing. But the girl didn't show up and apparently dropped the class.
oh thank you. tears in my eyes.
I hope she is a lurker. This will cleanse her.
Posted on 7/4/16 at 11:36 am to Langland
Me and a sexy as hell girl from jersey were sitting in a creative writing class at lsu.
There was an extremely skinny girl in there who wore the shortest shorts of all time regardless of weather and sat two seats in front of us to th3 side.
Every day we would sit there and joke about her panties hanging out.
One day she comes in, sits down, and immediately put her head down.
Jersey girl starts dying laughing and points out she has a tampon string hanging out.
Half the class goes by and I can see the white string is now a fairly dark brown. I point out to jersey girl right as the other girl gets up to present. About half of her pink shorts were darkened with blood. Jersey girl loudly says, "sweetie I think you sat in something." the class looks at her. Then at the desk. Then back to her. All but two guys start gagging, all of the girls start laughing, nd the overly liberal professor starts is trying to explain it as perfectly natural.
For some reason my morals kicked in and I took my sweater off and handed it to her. She ran out and disappeared.
About six months later I saw her at LSU lakes and she thanked me and quite openly suggested a blpw job. I unfortunately had to explain I was married.
There was an extremely skinny girl in there who wore the shortest shorts of all time regardless of weather and sat two seats in front of us to th3 side.
Every day we would sit there and joke about her panties hanging out.
One day she comes in, sits down, and immediately put her head down.
Jersey girl starts dying laughing and points out she has a tampon string hanging out.
Half the class goes by and I can see the white string is now a fairly dark brown. I point out to jersey girl right as the other girl gets up to present. About half of her pink shorts were darkened with blood. Jersey girl loudly says, "sweetie I think you sat in something." the class looks at her. Then at the desk. Then back to her. All but two guys start gagging, all of the girls start laughing, nd the overly liberal professor starts is trying to explain it as perfectly natural.
For some reason my morals kicked in and I took my sweater off and handed it to her. She ran out and disappeared.
About six months later I saw her at LSU lakes and she thanked me and quite openly suggested a blpw job. I unfortunately had to explain I was married.
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