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Posted on 5/2/21 at 7:19 pm to adamau
A girl starts dating an Auburn guy and gets Gus Malzahn tattooed on her left butt cheek. She leaves him and starts dating a Georgia fan and gets Kirby tattooed on her right butt cheek. She leaves him and decides to get the tattoos removed. Doc says I can get rid of Gus and Kirby, but there’s nothing I can do about Saban in the middle.
Posted on 5/2/21 at 7:26 pm to adamau
My wife tells this one which goes over much better when a woman tells it tbh:
Q: Why did cavemen drag women by the hair?
A: Because when you drag them by the feet their pussies fill up with dirt.
Q: Why did cavemen drag women by the hair?
A: Because when you drag them by the feet their pussies fill up with dirt.
This post was edited on 5/2/21 at 7:26 pm
Posted on 5/2/21 at 7:26 pm to adamau
What’s the difference between a hippie chick & a hockey player?
A hockey player showers after 3 periods.
A hockey player showers after 3 periods.
Posted on 5/2/21 at 7:42 pm to TheeRealCarolina
Oh excuse me ma’am, my fault on that one
Posted on 5/2/21 at 7:54 pm to adamau
What did the fish say when it swam into the cement wall?
"Dam!"
"Dam!"
Posted on 5/2/21 at 7:58 pm to LuckySo-n-So
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing. She's already been told twice.
#cancelme
Nothing. She's already been told twice.
#cancelme
Posted on 5/2/21 at 8:42 pm to Auburn80
Posted on 5/2/21 at 8:48 pm to adamau
What do you do when you see someone having a seizure in a bathtub?
Toss in a load of laundry.
Toss in a load of laundry.
Posted on 5/2/21 at 8:52 pm to Kentucker
What’s the difference between a gay guy and a refrigerator?
The fridge doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.
The fridge doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.
Posted on 5/2/21 at 8:54 pm to adamau
Guy takes a duck he is having an affair with home. He has the duck under his arm and says this is the pig I have been fricking. His wife say that's a duck. Guy says I wasn't talking to you
Posted on 5/2/21 at 9:07 pm to adamau
My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records.
The librarian told me to take it out or she would call the cops.
The librarian told me to take it out or she would call the cops.
Posted on 5/2/21 at 9:07 pm to adamau
It’s not a dad bod... it’s a father figure.
Posted on 5/2/21 at 9:08 pm to Nicky Parrish
quote:
Difference between The Rolling Stones and an Irishman.
Rolling Stones- Hey you get off of my cloud.
Irishman - Hey McCloud get off of my ewe.
Posted on 5/2/21 at 9:14 pm to toosleaux
quote:
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a Cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
doesn't matter, he ain't coming.
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