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Started By
Message
re: What was the best one liners your high school coaches used?
Posted on 1/27/18 at 8:23 am to FlatTownDawgTiger
Posted on 1/27/18 at 8:23 am to FlatTownDawgTiger
To a DL getting beat by second team OL. "Dorner, does your husband play football?"
In locker room at half of a game where we were losing to Winnfield. "That's like getting beat by Buckeye, studs!"
In locker room at half of a game where we were losing to Winnfield. "That's like getting beat by Buckeye, studs!"
1
Posted on 1/27/18 at 8:25 am to FlatTownDawgTiger
High School Coach to the Offensive Guard after forgetting to pull on a sweep.
Coach: what do you do on a 627 buck sweep?
Guard: Oh...
Coach: Oh??? Oh shite...
Coach: what do you do on a 627 buck sweep?
Guard: Oh...
Coach: Oh??? Oh shite...
Posted on 1/27/18 at 8:26 am to FlatTownDawgTiger
In college our LB coach was teaching the linebackers and safeties blitzing techniques... he was a real hardass. Played ILB in D1 somewhere and looked like Brian fricking Bosworth
I guess he was pissed that nobody was firing through the line fast enough and our blitzes kept getting picked up. He grabbed one of our LBs by the facemask and said “Son, I want you comin faster than if you’re in bed with my girlfriend and I come home early...”
I guess he was pissed that nobody was firing through the line fast enough and our blitzes kept getting picked up. He grabbed one of our LBs by the facemask and said “Son, I want you comin faster than if you’re in bed with my girlfriend and I come home early...”
This post was edited on 1/27/18 at 8:28 am
Posted on 1/27/18 at 8:28 am to FlatTownDawgTiger
My favorite: excuses are like assholes, everyone’s got em and they all stink
Posted on 1/27/18 at 8:29 am to Gevans17
Bobby you fat frick I will straight cut your arse.
Funny for 2 reasons. 1. Nobody liked Bobby. 2. His name wasn't Bobby.
He would usually say this anywhere from 1-8 times a week. Bobby hated football.
Funny for 2 reasons. 1. Nobody liked Bobby. 2. His name wasn't Bobby.
He would usually say this anywhere from 1-8 times a week. Bobby hated football.
This post was edited on 1/27/18 at 8:30 am
Posted on 1/27/18 at 8:29 am to FlatTownDawgTiger
"The team that won't be beat, can't be beat."
(On walking at practice)
"Let's go! Nobody walks but the mail man!"
(On poor effort)
"Son, that's about as useless as the tits on a boar hog"
(On walking at practice)
"Let's go! Nobody walks but the mail man!"
(On poor effort)
"Son, that's about as useless as the tits on a boar hog"
Posted on 1/27/18 at 8:35 am to FlatTownDawgTiger
LSU??? You cant even spell SEC. shite, you cant even spell SWAC. You aint playing shite.
Ex-NFL corner to our starting corner
Ex-NFL corner to our starting corner
Posted on 1/27/18 at 8:36 am to FlatTownDawgTiger
Don't tell anyone.
Posted on 1/27/18 at 8:44 am to FlatTownDawgTiger
Our Defensive Co-ordinator used to always say "Even if you frick up.....at least hit somebody while you do it."
From our old school head coaches rules: "You do not lay down and call for the trainer for a cramp...you better hop, crawl, roll or sprout wings to get off my field...and we will talk after the game why you are out of shape or de-hydrated."
His concussion protocol....."When he can remember his momma's first name he can go back in"
My favorite was the beginning of the fourth quarter calling a HB Dive play and telling us...."We play Southern Style Smash Mouth Football here...we gonna run it straight up the middle and it ain't a damn thing they can do about it...run the play until they stop it."
From our old school head coaches rules: "You do not lay down and call for the trainer for a cramp...you better hop, crawl, roll or sprout wings to get off my field...and we will talk after the game why you are out of shape or de-hydrated."
His concussion protocol....."When he can remember his momma's first name he can go back in"
My favorite was the beginning of the fourth quarter calling a HB Dive play and telling us...."We play Southern Style Smash Mouth Football here...we gonna run it straight up the middle and it ain't a damn thing they can do about it...run the play until they stop it."
This post was edited on 1/27/18 at 8:47 am
Posted on 1/27/18 at 8:45 am to FlatTownDawgTiger
High School coach to a WR who kept dropping passes...Son, you couldn’t catch the clap in a whorehouse!
Posted on 1/27/18 at 8:47 am to FLBooGoTigs1
I thought you were a female
This post was edited on 1/27/18 at 8:50 am
Posted on 1/27/18 at 8:48 am to FlatTownDawgTiger
“Give your hearts to god cause your asses are mine!” (After a bad loss)
Posted on 1/27/18 at 8:49 am to truthbetold
quote:
Do coaches still talk like this in today's PC culture? Please tell me yes
When my son started middle school football a couple years ago, after a few practices he tells me, Dad! The coaches curse at us!!
I said, What you think about that?
He said, It’s frikin awesome!
Posted on 1/27/18 at 8:49 am to AlxTgr
quote:
That's like getting beat by Buckeye, studs!"
Lol
Posted on 1/27/18 at 8:52 am to FlatTownDawgTiger
While running the 40 for times, the coach told me "Son, you are so slow we could clock you with a sundial!"
Posted on 1/27/18 at 8:58 am to Bayouboogaloocrew
My senior year we had a sophmore DB on the scout team that would jump routes or cheat to where the run play was going because he knew the play instead of playing it honest.
Head Coach: "Everybody is a superstar on Mondays, its what you can do on Friday Nights that gets you on the Starter Bus."
Head Coach: "Everybody is a superstar on Mondays, its what you can do on Friday Nights that gets you on the Starter Bus."
This post was edited on 1/27/18 at 9:00 am
Posted on 1/27/18 at 9:00 am to FlatTownDawgTiger
"That's weaker than puppy piss"
Posted on 1/27/18 at 9:01 am to FlatTownDawgTiger
When d-linemen or LBs messed up their gap assignments: "y'all look like a goddam porno! Two guys in the same hole!"
And I don't know why this one was so funny to me, but I was in tears when it happened. I guess it was one of those you-had-to-be-there moments. A WR ran the wrong route on a passing play. After the play ended, our HC yelled "hey dumbass!" When the WR eventually turned to see who he was talking to, he went "yeah, you! Dumbass!"
And I don't know why this one was so funny to me, but I was in tears when it happened. I guess it was one of those you-had-to-be-there moments. A WR ran the wrong route on a passing play. After the play ended, our HC yelled "hey dumbass!" When the WR eventually turned to see who he was talking to, he went "yeah, you! Dumbass!"
This post was edited on 1/27/18 at 9:09 am
Posted on 1/27/18 at 9:02 am to FlatTownDawgTiger
Son, if you’re an athlete, I’m an astronaut
They’re gonna knock your jock into your watch pocket
On a rainy night, To one of our linemen who kept missing downfield blocks but was doing these glorious belly slides in the process “You’re not here to play football... you’re here to shine your arse!”
One of our mediocre players decided to bring a baseball cap and put it on between series on the sidelines. “Red, you look like a god damn all-American”
You’d have to hear all this in coach’s Y’at Accent with accompanying lisp for the full effect
They’re gonna knock your jock into your watch pocket
On a rainy night, To one of our linemen who kept missing downfield blocks but was doing these glorious belly slides in the process “You’re not here to play football... you’re here to shine your arse!”
One of our mediocre players decided to bring a baseball cap and put it on between series on the sidelines. “Red, you look like a god damn all-American”
You’d have to hear all this in coach’s Y’at Accent with accompanying lisp for the full effect
Posted on 1/27/18 at 9:03 am to theenemy
quote:
My senior year we had a sophmore DB on the scout team that would jump routes or cheat to where the run play was going because he knew the play instead of playing it honest. Head Coach: "Everybody is a superstar on Mondays, its what you can do on Friday Nights that gets you on the Starter Bus."
My coaches would call those guys "all-Americans in underpants"
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