re: What do I say to someone suicidal?

FWIW, i've dealt with anxiety and mild depression through my life, but I have been able to manage those much better in recent years.

For the past 10 years, I have had an anger problem due to some past circumstances, and I came to realize I processed hurt through anger (just shouting / hurtful words, nothing physical). My anger issue has ultimately led to the demise of a couple relationships. After my most recent one, I decided maybe I did need help and didn't want to be angry anymore.

I'm about 7 therapy sessions in, and its been amazing. Friends and co-workers said they can sense how much lighter and happier I seem. I get triggered much less, i'm more relaxed and more patient. In truth, it has been life changing and will save my personal life and likely help me in my professional life.

I brushed off the thought of therapy for years, but it's the best thing I ever did. I would highly recommend it to your friend. For him that sounds like whats needed more so than being medicated by a psychiatrist -- for someone that doesn't have serious issues, medicines will only numb the pain, but won't help heal the wound.

I would probably talk to him about how he should be open / talk with his wife rather than just up and telling her.

You definitely dont want him to close off from everyone, which could happen if he feels like you broke his trust in some way

Wtf?

The professional help comment is spot on.
Suicide is one of the top ten causes of death in America. For young people, it is number 2.

Let him know he is not alone.
Does he have a plan? If so, go to ER or call 911.
Does he own or have access to a gun?
Suicide completions are almost 100% with firearms.
Lock them up or remove them from him.
Get a locked medicine box.

Feelings are always temporary. IF you give it time, feelings will change. Help him understand how he is part of the puzzle for everybody who loves and cares about him. Help him find reasons to live to the next hour, day, week, year.

The feelings are real. He may be suffering from depression and need medication.

Thanks everyone for the awesome advice. He and I have talked a couple times since yesterday and he is calling some therapists this morning. He has some of those same anger issues and I think the therapy stuff might help. shite, it sounds like it might help me.

Thanks again everyone.

try to get him some help...

but remind him (and yourself) that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem!!!

quote:

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Yes, he said he didn’t know what to do. And I told him I don’t either but the first step would be to talk to a professional. 

Alcohol isn’t the problem.

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First, I think you did all you could for him. Supporting him and trying to get him help is being a good friend.

No disrespect, but you're probably not a therapist. Routing him to someone who is instead of trying to do it yourself is responsible.

On alcohol, it may not be the cause, but I'd be worried that people do things drunk they don't do sober. It lowers inhibitions, and if he's already considering suicide, you don't want that inhibition lowered.

Best of luck to your buddy, it's great you're trying to help him.

Try to relate.

He needs a therapist. Just say tons of people go.

Stop drinking with him. Alcohol makes depression worse.

It's not your place to tell him what to do. Only he can stop drinking.

Try to find a sober activity and get to know on that level.

Hope that helps.