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re: What are the best dating websites nowadays?
Posted on 8/3/26 at 3:20 pm to RLDSC FAN
Posted on 8/3/26 at 3:20 pm to RLDSC FAN
quote:
I've never had Facebook
It takes about 30 days after you open a FB account to even be able to see FB Dating.
Also, be prepared (on any apps) to women that filter the shite out of themselves in their profile pictures. Usually, there are filters on just the main pic, but there are non filtered photos somewhere.
Posted on 8/3/26 at 3:21 pm to danilo
quote:
Like cars: buy foreign. The American ones are garbage.
Be careful with this advice not all foreign cars are great.
Posted on 8/3/26 at 3:38 pm to LemmyLives
quote:
Also, be prepared (on any apps) to women that filter the shite out of themselves in their profile pictures.
I know. I've had friends tell me about the girls they've met up with that look nothing like their profile pictures
Posted on 8/3/26 at 4:05 pm to RLDSC FAN
With most dating sites expect to see:
1. Fat blue haired cat ladies with no social skills.
2. The 48 year old good looking lady who still wants a guy her age that is rich.
3. Angry liberal ladies who’s profile is self defeating.
4. Ladies who are just bored and will just talk to you to cure their boredom.
5. The lady who you hit it off with but that is 200 miles away.
6. Bots, scammers.
7. The plans changer.
8. Your next GF.
Patience and luck will eventually come together. 10-15 years ago was a golden time. Now it’s a weird scene. I thought it was just here in the Chicago area but sounds like it is nationwide. Have fun and happy hunting!
1. Fat blue haired cat ladies with no social skills.
2. The 48 year old good looking lady who still wants a guy her age that is rich.
3. Angry liberal ladies who’s profile is self defeating.
4. Ladies who are just bored and will just talk to you to cure their boredom.
5. The lady who you hit it off with but that is 200 miles away.
6. Bots, scammers.
7. The plans changer.
8. Your next GF.
Patience and luck will eventually come together. 10-15 years ago was a golden time. Now it’s a weird scene. I thought it was just here in the Chicago area but sounds like it is nationwide. Have fun and happy hunting!
This post was edited on 8/3/26 at 4:06 pm
Posted on 8/3/26 at 4:08 pm to RLDSC FAN
quote:
I've had friends tell me about the girls they've met up with that look nothing like their profile picture
You're going to be able to tell if a picture is filtered, it's pretty obvious to me at least. I don't mind you getting rid of a mole or a scar (not that I'd care), but it's the airbrushing and "softening" of complexion that bothers me the most. I don't live in SoCal, where I assume everything social media is worse than it is in Texas. It seemed to be mostly confined to girls 15+ years younger than me that went at it heavier. The rest is just good angles and stuff.
Oh, and when you're posting pics, make sure there is a group shot of you with friends or your kids (their faces blurred out) having fun. It helps reassure women you aren't Dexter, and can have fun.
Posted on 8/3/26 at 4:10 pm to LemmyLives
quote:
Oh, and when you're posting pics, make sure there is a group shot of you with friends or your kids (their faces blurred out) having fun. It helps reassure women you aren't Dexter, and can have fun.
Posted on 8/3/26 at 4:33 pm to RLDSC FAN
quote:
woman will want to find as much possible about you
I'd advise against the IG, I've never had an account, and it didn't hold me back. If you don't have one, you don't want one. There's no need to start posting pictures of shite you did ten years ago on IG to prove that you can ski, etc. Just put it into your profile.
The women are more worried about who you follow, and whose DMs you might slide into I'm guessing. They don't need IG for that, that's what conversations are for.
Women that you date and move on from, will totally stalk you and return to send messages to a woman that you post a picture with, etc. I had one ex (dated for 3-4 months) that went into my current GF's profile on FB to investigate, which causes the ex to show up as "people you may know" to my GF. I think I've blocked four women in three years, and she was one of them. Also, learn how to share your FB profile, do NOT become friends with any woman you date until you've gone exclusive at least. "Hey, FB told me you were interested in xxx event, do you want to go?" is not something you want to hear.
Posted on 8/3/26 at 4:50 pm to LemmyLives
You need to write a book, Lemmy! Good stuff that is informative and funny. What is your take on why online dating sucks now? Before Covid if you weren’t high fiving the third base coach after the 3rd date, something just wasn’t there. But now it feels like first dates are more like job interviews and indecisiveness that just spill over into the second and third dates. I also get a sense that ladies don’t like travel pics and have a semi-fear of successful independent men which before Covid was your golden ticket. I’m curious on your take and opinion. Thanks!
This post was edited on 8/3/26 at 4:51 pm
Posted on 8/3/26 at 4:53 pm to RLDSC FAN
I met my wife on Match in 2014. 90% of it is bullshite and wack jobs you just have to be patient and able to spot the scammers and crazies.
Posted on 8/3/26 at 5:30 pm to UnclePat76
quote:
You need to write a book, Lemmy! Good stuff that is informative and funny
Gracias, sir.
quote:
What is your take on why online dating sucks now?
I don't think it does, actually. I was on dating sites like Match in the mid 2000s, and it seems much the same. Even back then, women were spoiled for choice. Most men don't know how to handle that, then or now. Basically, the answer is to stop trying to meet their requirements (I'm guessing you are of a similar age as I, near 50) and just be you. Nobody cares about you liking long walks on the beach, spending time in Cancun twice a year, or how dedicated you are to your mom. That doesn't stand out. Be funny or dorky. The woman I'm going to get married to mentioned how dorky my profile was six months after we started dating. Well, it worked.
I mentioned I've been chased by monkeys in two different countries. If a woman was just looking at my pictures and headline, they wouldn't have caught it. I like women who read, and it's a unique bit that I hoped caused a woman to chuckle. Who else has that in their profile? It says nothing about me, but it's at least different.
quote:
I also get a sense that ladies don’t like travel pics and have a semi-fear of successful independent men
You already know who fits this profile when you start messaging, so avoid them. One of my (when the time is right, but early) tests is how women feel about location tracking on you. Up front, no, not going to happen, ever. I tell a story around how it just reduces communication and judge the reaction (I didn't get a lot of this, to be honest, but you need a filter for wheat/chaff.)
What are you doing now that is different from what you did before COVID? I didn't get divorced until the end of 2022. And do you live in the city, in a suburb, rural? In Houston, I matched and went out on ONE date with a woman that lived inside 610, and ONE woman that lived just outside it. Everyone else was in the burbs, from Spring to Katy. Different wants; the in the loop crowd wants different things for the most part. Even dating in ATL in 2008, people would post in their profiles, "No OTPers" (nobody outside of 285, because apparently they weren't cool enough or too conservative, etc.)
I've always laughed at this video of a grunt at the range just trying to get laid:
This post was edited on 8/3/26 at 5:59 pm
Posted on 8/3/26 at 5:47 pm to RLDSC FAN
Tinder circa 12ish years ago was the goat
Posted on 8/3/26 at 5:59 pm to LemmyLives
There's some seriously good advice in this chat. I'd like to add some of my lessons as well:
1. Let someone, usually single women, look at your profile and get their honest input. No point in wasting time fishing with shitty bait. You'll eventually learn the pros/cons of making a decent profile. I can't tell you how many dudes that bitch about not getting any good matches have the worst profiles that may not show their face or hair (if they have any) or only have selfies inside their car. Decent pics of different styles - for example, one after a 5k; one in a suit before a wedding; one on a boat (don't include the fish in the pic... it's a turnoff to girls for some reason); and one out with a group of friends -- work best.
2. FB dating is free and trying undercut the others. It's okay. Hinge is the best across the board in Louisiana probably. I haven't used Bumble in a while. Tinder can be more fun in bigger cities/tourist towns. As other posters have said, mix them up from time to time -- paying for the apps let's you see who liked you but there's no use paying for all of them at the same time.
3. Also, as other posters have said, I avoid full dinners for the first date -- drinks with appetizers usually works great and cuts the cost down (even that isn't cheap.) That said - if the chick is hot enough or I'm in the mood for a decent dinner, I'll break that rule.
4. Every date's first question will be: "So how long have you been single?" or "When did you get divorced?" .. and as you heal you'll likely start asking them that. It's the easiest indicator someone is going to have a lot of baggage or maybe drama with the ex or need help with the emotions of the process. It's not a big deal but have an answer ready. After a few drinks, they'll ask why you are getting divorced.
5. Try to enjoy the process. Enjoy a new first date experience. Some will go great. Some you'll kick yourself for screwing up by talking about your ex too much etc. Don't focus too much on the bad ones.
6. You can be honest about what you want. I know many women that have hooked up with dudes that just said I'm too fresh to be dating serious and want something more fun right now.
7. Don't sit at home and message on them all the time. It will feel like a 2nd full time job. The best approach is a combo approach where you join clubs/volunteering and add some online dates. You'll get back into it with the dates so you're ready when/if you meet someone in person.
1. Let someone, usually single women, look at your profile and get their honest input. No point in wasting time fishing with shitty bait. You'll eventually learn the pros/cons of making a decent profile. I can't tell you how many dudes that bitch about not getting any good matches have the worst profiles that may not show their face or hair (if they have any) or only have selfies inside their car. Decent pics of different styles - for example, one after a 5k; one in a suit before a wedding; one on a boat (don't include the fish in the pic... it's a turnoff to girls for some reason); and one out with a group of friends -- work best.
2. FB dating is free and trying undercut the others. It's okay. Hinge is the best across the board in Louisiana probably. I haven't used Bumble in a while. Tinder can be more fun in bigger cities/tourist towns. As other posters have said, mix them up from time to time -- paying for the apps let's you see who liked you but there's no use paying for all of them at the same time.
3. Also, as other posters have said, I avoid full dinners for the first date -- drinks with appetizers usually works great and cuts the cost down (even that isn't cheap.) That said - if the chick is hot enough or I'm in the mood for a decent dinner, I'll break that rule.
4. Every date's first question will be: "So how long have you been single?" or "When did you get divorced?" .. and as you heal you'll likely start asking them that. It's the easiest indicator someone is going to have a lot of baggage or maybe drama with the ex or need help with the emotions of the process. It's not a big deal but have an answer ready. After a few drinks, they'll ask why you are getting divorced.
5. Try to enjoy the process. Enjoy a new first date experience. Some will go great. Some you'll kick yourself for screwing up by talking about your ex too much etc. Don't focus too much on the bad ones.
6. You can be honest about what you want. I know many women that have hooked up with dudes that just said I'm too fresh to be dating serious and want something more fun right now.
7. Don't sit at home and message on them all the time. It will feel like a 2nd full time job. The best approach is a combo approach where you join clubs/volunteering and add some online dates. You'll get back into it with the dates so you're ready when/if you meet someone in person.
This post was edited on 8/3/26 at 6:05 pm
Posted on 8/3/26 at 6:04 pm to awestruck
quote:
Try a church.
Except Catholic Church. If then, you're screwed.
Posted on 8/3/26 at 6:13 pm to RLDSC FAN
Ohhhh as others have said, these girls are inundated with other possible options so:
1. try to schedule a date sooner rather than later after matching (which is harder than you think if you have kids/house/job/other plans).. Sometimes the timing just doesn't work out. Having opposite custody weekends is probably the worst luck.
2. Don't get too upset/down when someone you were really into ghosts you. You will be ghosted. Just accept it. Everyone gets ghosted. it's just what it is. They probably liked another one of the guys talking to them or got back with their ex or who knows. It happens a lot these days - esp if you haven't met.
1. try to schedule a date sooner rather than later after matching (which is harder than you think if you have kids/house/job/other plans).. Sometimes the timing just doesn't work out. Having opposite custody weekends is probably the worst luck.
2. Don't get too upset/down when someone you were really into ghosts you. You will be ghosted. Just accept it. Everyone gets ghosted. it's just what it is. They probably liked another one of the guys talking to them or got back with their ex or who knows. It happens a lot these days - esp if you haven't met.
Posted on 8/3/26 at 6:15 pm to shutterspeed
quote:
Except Catholic Church. If then, you're screwed.
Yea, catholic church doesn't offer many places to meet someone. It's just go to church and leave. Also, it seems full of families.
I have had people tell me that Catholic singles app is like old school tinder with hookups but I have never tried it.
Posted on 8/3/26 at 6:16 pm to RLDSC FAN
quote:
I'm recently divorced. It's been a very difficult time, but im ready to get out there and start meeting people
If you are recently divorced, the last thing on your mind should be getting out there and meeting people. Work on yourself, figure out what caused your divorce, learn from past mistakes.
If you jump too quickly back into dating, you will most likely repeat your former mistakes.
This post was edited on 8/3/26 at 6:17 pm
Posted on 8/3/26 at 6:19 pm to SECretariat
quote:
4. Every date's first question will be: "So how long have you been single?" or "When did you get divorced?" .. and as you heal you'll likely start asking them that. It's the easiest indicator someone is going to have a lot of baggage or maybe drama with the ex or need help with the emotions of the process. It's not a big deal but have an answer ready.
This is 100% true, and men need to ask the questions about exes far more than I think they do. Most sit there and get interviewed, forgetting to ask about custody schedules, how often they have to talk to their exes, etc. It's a giant window into what you don't know and a trail of breadcrumbs into why she's single.
quote:
Decent pics of different styles - for example, one after a 5k; one in a suit before a wedding; one on a boat (don't include the fish in the pic... it's a turnoff to girls for some reason); and one out with a group of friends -- work best.
This.
quote:
You can be honest about what you want. I know many women that have hooked up with dudes that just said I'm too fresh to be dating serious and want something more fun right now.
Especially within a couple of months of the divorce, this is critical. You are not prepared to be searching for your next wife, be honest about it. It's not a turnoff in my experience, it's honesty that tends to shock them into liking you more.
Posted on 8/3/26 at 6:28 pm to RLDSC FAN
Things change quickly with those dating sites.
However, a few years ago Tinder and Bumble were still ok, especially if you're in a place filled with single women in their late 30s and 40s like NY or California.
No substitute for meeting people in real life but also no reason not to use some sites especially if you're not wanting to always go out to bars.
However, a few years ago Tinder and Bumble were still ok, especially if you're in a place filled with single women in their late 30s and 40s like NY or California.
No substitute for meeting people in real life but also no reason not to use some sites especially if you're not wanting to always go out to bars.
Posted on 8/3/26 at 6:42 pm to wm72
quote:
No substitute for meeting people in real life
The purpose of the apps is to meet people in person to learn more about each other.
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