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Started By
Message
Visual stimulation: is this an equal pull for men and women?
Posted on 11/13/21 at 10:14 am
Posted on 11/13/21 at 10:14 am
This is an ongoing discussion between my wife and I ….she says women struggle with porn just as much as men do but women know how to better control it
She says that years of teaching in conservative churches have led men to believe that they are powerless to control their thoughts/ instincts over porn (or how women dress etc) and this is why 72% of people addicted to porn are men.
She says to believe that only men are visually stimulated would mean that God created men/ women differently…
Obvs i counter with…we are all created differently- diff sex drives etc- it doesn’t speak to how God is unequal in his creation.
I am now reading a study on visual stimulation between sexes (published through NIH) to prove her wrong by science
I mean, i have a friend (woman) at work and we have talked about what porn we normally watch so i know women watch porn but i can’t accept that the only reason i believe that men look at porn is bc i was raised in a church that taught me that men are powerless ../.i wholeheartedly accept that men are just wired differently
Also/ no photos of my wife or my friend at work
Anyone have any thoughts/ opinions?
She says that years of teaching in conservative churches have led men to believe that they are powerless to control their thoughts/ instincts over porn (or how women dress etc) and this is why 72% of people addicted to porn are men.
She says to believe that only men are visually stimulated would mean that God created men/ women differently…
Obvs i counter with…we are all created differently- diff sex drives etc- it doesn’t speak to how God is unequal in his creation.
I am now reading a study on visual stimulation between sexes (published through NIH) to prove her wrong by science
I mean, i have a friend (woman) at work and we have talked about what porn we normally watch so i know women watch porn but i can’t accept that the only reason i believe that men look at porn is bc i was raised in a church that taught me that men are powerless ../.i wholeheartedly accept that men are just wired differently
Also/ no photos of my wife or my friend at work
Anyone have any thoughts/ opinions?
30
Posted on 11/13/21 at 10:15 am to 850SaintsGator
Nope.
Posted on 11/13/21 at 10:16 am to 850SaintsGator
Sounds like your wife watches a lot of porno Bc you can’t satisfy her
Posted on 11/13/21 at 10:16 am to 850SaintsGator
quote:
mean, i have a friend (woman) at work and we have talked about what porn we normally watch
That sounds like a wild lunchtime discussion
Posted on 11/13/21 at 10:18 am to 850SaintsGator
Porn is to men as Hallmark movies are to women.
Posted on 11/13/21 at 10:20 am to 850SaintsGator
Imagine being married and watching porn lolololololol
Posted on 11/13/21 at 10:23 am to 850SaintsGator
While I think men and women are generally wired a bit differently in that they enjoy different kinds of porn, I think the larger difference is cultural, though I don't think your wife is correct. I think it's less that culture teaches that men can't control themselves and more that culture shames women for their sex drive, at least historically. When you spend your formative years being told that having a strong sex drive makes you a slut/whore/etc, that's going to take a toll, even once those pressures have been removed.
Feel free to google it, but poll after poll have shown that women are vastly more likely than men to have feelings of shame/sadness/etc after sex/orgasm. Sure, some of them might have been disappointed by your performance, but I can't imagine you've had sex with all of them. Regardless, those same feelings are going to manifest in watching porn for most women.
Feel free to google it, but poll after poll have shown that women are vastly more likely than men to have feelings of shame/sadness/etc after sex/orgasm. Sure, some of them might have been disappointed by your performance, but I can't imagine you've had sex with all of them. Regardless, those same feelings are going to manifest in watching porn for most women.
This post was edited on 11/13/21 at 10:24 am
Posted on 11/13/21 at 10:23 am to kung fu kenny
Posted on 11/13/21 at 10:24 am to kung fu kenny
I don’t have to imagine
Posted on 11/13/21 at 10:24 am to 850SaintsGator
quote:
Anyone have any thoughts/ opinions?
She's wrong.
quote:
She says to believe that only men are visually stimulated would mean that God created men/ women differently…
No...it's that males evolved differently and have different things which attract them. Men tend to be attracted to physical traits more, where as women tend to be attracted the traits which make men be protectors and providers. Some of those MAY be physical attractiveness, but many are not. There's a reason men buy nice cars, get good jobs which earn lots of money, etc.
Men look for young, pretty, physically fit, because they ultimately would make a good mate.
Posted on 11/13/21 at 10:26 am to Lawyered
quote:
That sounds like a wild lunchtime discussion
I forget how it started but i remember telling her the old Ron White (re: his guy friend who only watched porn when the male actor had a large D..lol) and it wasn’t a face/face convo- it was texting- we work in the same process but are rarely in the same building - 9mos out of the year, we live in our own cities- but for about 3mos we all live in one city snd work in one building
Posted on 11/13/21 at 10:27 am to Joshjrn
quote:
While I think men and women are generally wired a bit differently in that they enjoy different kinds of porn, I think the larger difference is cultural, though I don't think your wife is correct. I think it's less that culture teaches that men can't control themselves and more that culture shames women for their sex drive, at least historically. When you spend your formative years being told that having a strong sex drive makes you a slut/whore/etc, that's going to take a toll, even once those pressures have been removed.
Feel free to google it, but poll after poll have shown that women are vastly more likely than men to have feelings of shame/sadness/etc after sex/orgasm. Sure, some of them might have been disappointed by your performance, but I can't imagine you've had sex with all of them. Regardless, those same feelings are going to manifest in watching porn for most women.
This is actually mind blowing and makes wayyyy more sense
Posted on 11/13/21 at 10:30 am to 850SaintsGator
Your wife is wrong, very wrong and study after study shows this. Women are more emotionally oriented when it comes to sex and men are more visual/physical oriented. This is why men have absolutely no issue sleeping with a wide range of women and women are more selective.
Yes, there are women who toss their bodies about with many different men, but those women are going far away from their natural instincts and they're usually emotionally wrecked.
I guess if you take the "humans are just unthinking animalistic beasts" view of gender differences you could say she's not totally wrong.
I just think real life shows us women are far more fickle about their sexual tastes.
Yes, there are women who toss their bodies about with many different men, but those women are going far away from their natural instincts and they're usually emotionally wrecked.
I guess if you take the "humans are just unthinking animalistic beasts" view of gender differences you could say she's not totally wrong.
I just think real life shows us women are far more fickle about their sexual tastes.
This post was edited on 11/13/21 at 10:39 am
Posted on 11/13/21 at 10:35 am to 850SaintsGator
You actually texted a work colleague about your mutual porn watching habits? You sound like case study in a bad HR training video. You know the ones where everyone forced to sit through it says to themselves "This is ridiculous. No one would be that dumb."
Posted on 11/13/21 at 10:38 am to 850SaintsGator
quote:
She says to believe that only men are visually stimulated would mean that God created men/ women differently…
your wife thinks penises and vaginas arent different enough evidence to satisfy this view that men and women are made different?
have yall never been around a 5 year old boy and girl? behaviors are very different.
but to be fair women are def visually stimulated too. I think its more a difference in affinity for pleasure seeking behavior
Posted on 11/13/21 at 10:40 am to TorchtheFlyingTiger
quote:
You actually texted a work colleague about your mutual porn watching habits? You sound like case study in a bad HR training video. You know the ones where everyone forced to sit through it says to themselves "This is ridiculous. No one would be that dumb."
Yeah - makes sense why this is confusing - we work in the Legislature , HR isn’t really a thing - i mean, yeah we have one but it’s more for pushing paperwork snd occasionally firing people but most firing are done by our bosses etc ….also, I’d be a very small scandal - my friend has had bigger situations that HR would have been more concerned with…basically, the other person got removed from their position
Posted on 11/13/21 at 11:21 am to 850SaintsGator
Women are more stimulated by sound. As soon as they hear you have lots of money they are stimulated.
Posted on 11/13/21 at 11:23 am to 850SaintsGator
quote:
she says women struggle with porn just as much as men do
A few, maybe. Hypersexuals. You don't marry those.
Posted on 11/13/21 at 11:24 am to 850SaintsGator
quote:
I mean, i have a friend (woman) at work and we have talked about what porn we normally watch so i know women watch porn but i can’t accept that the only reason i believe that men look at porn is bc i was raised in a church that taught me that men are powerless ../.i wholeheartedly accept that men are just wired differently
Now this is a thread.
You need to delete this if your wife reads the board
Posted on 11/13/21 at 11:26 am to agdoctor
quote:
Women are more stimulated by sound. As soon as they hear you have lots of money they are stimulated.
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