re: Told the boss that we need to have a serious talk, regretting it a bit.

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but I bounce very strange problems off mountains of code and do a damn good job.

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Unfortunately for you and almost every employee in the world, you don't get to decide how good of a job you do. Your boss seems to think that you arena't doing a good job, and that's all that matters. You need to change your attitude / outlook or you will find yourself in the same situation in every job you have.

If you feel your reply was out of line, your serious talk needs to be you acknowledging that and stating your desire and intention to move forward in a positive way.

Then apparently you have no flexibility or fluctuations in your job. Easy way to pass on information such as running late, sick, new plan while on the go. Also provides that tracking that a phone call doesn't

Stop acting like a c@nt and do your job.

What a bitch.

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valuable people get fired all the time. As a boss, let me tell you that your skills ain't shite if you don't do the job I've laid out for you.

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Judge speaks the truth.

Best thing you can do is tell him face to face that that kind of pussy whining won't happen again. Then, keep your mouth shut and your head down, and do your damn job. Proving your worth is the most important thing you need to be worrying about now, if you even still get the chance.

Sounds like you're kind of new to the working world. Don't be fooled into thinking that bosses are hip to the millennial way of thinking. Most are old school hard asses with high expectations of employees.
Good luck