re: These Shark Attacks

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Why haven’t more people been attacked in Grand Isle then, where literally everyone is there to fish? It’s like a prime spot for sharks because of all the fish and action there, yet I’ve never heard of a shark attack down there. I’ve seen them swimming just several feet away from me before. Like why doesn’t it happen there like it does in the touristy beach spots?

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Different water and I've never seen the constant massive crowds of swimmers in Grand Isle as I see on 30A/Destin/PCB.

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But but but - let’s blame the shark attacks on climate change, vaccinated people, etc!!!

No need to blame the shark attacks on actual normal Mother Nature!!

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If we can blame climate change for all other normal aspects of Mother Nature, why would this be excluded?

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but I’ve wade fished Grand Isle, Elmers, my entire life, and the amount of sharks swimming around me while I’m out there is insane

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A lot of it is the splashing and activity. They are drawn to the vibrations (or blood in the water of course if there is any) and if you happen to be swimming away from them and they see splashing it will initiate kind of a predator/prey instinct.

It's why there are tons of videos of divers who dive with sharks saying if they come towards you don't swim away. You're supposed to stand your ground and push them away face to face over their nose. I'm sure any one of us would be pooping our pants if a 16' shark was coming our way and we were just supposed to chill out and push it away

In your years of fishing, how many of your fish on the line when struggling have been eaten by sharks? I've been fishing a ton and had multiple tarpon attacked by big Bull/Hammerheads looking for a meal

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Why haven’t more people been attacked in Grand Isle then

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Because there are simply less people.

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Like why doesn’t it happen there like it does in the touristy beach spots?

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It's not the shark or the location it's the presence of people.

You increase the amount of sharks and the amount of people and the risk of a shark attack increases. What presents a greater chance of a shark attack....one person jumping into a shark tank or 30 people in the same tank?

Florida Department of Wildlife and Fisheries Emergency Alert: Shark Safety Edition

Attention Beachgoers and Ocean Enthusiasts:

In the unlikely event that you encounter one of our toothy friends, the endangered bull shark, here’s a handy (and humorous) guide to ensure you keep all your limbs intact. Yes, we said all your limbs.

Legal Combat Guidelines:

How Much is Too Much?

If a bull shark has gnawed off more than a snack-sized portion of your arm or leg, it's officially time to fight back. Think “nibble” not “buffet.”
Defensive Tactics:

Funny Faces: Sharks hate ridiculous expressions. The more absurd, the better. Think of your best duck face or fish lips.
Disturbing Names: Call the shark names like “Fish Breath” or “Toothy McChomp” to confuse and annoy it.
Screaming Loudly: Sharks are sensitive to noise. Yell your favorite karaoke song or recite Shakespeare—it’s all fair game.
Eye Poking: If all else fails, go for the eyes. Even sharks have their limits, and a well-placed poke might just do the trick.
Ultimate Measures:

Bazooka Time: As a last resort (and we really mean LAST), you may consider using a bazooka to blow the shark out of the water. Just remember, you’re probably going to need a bigger permit for that one.
Preventative Measures:

Sock Full of Pennies: Attach this unique accessory to your bathing suit. The jangling sound is like nails on a chalkboard to our aquatic pals.

Brass or Copper Bikini: Not only stylish but also practical! The metallic glint and taste will have bull sharks saying, “No, thank you,” and swimming off in search of less metallic meals.

Remember, our goal is to protect both you and our beloved bull sharks. So, stay safe, stay humorous, and keep those limbs where they belong!

Florida Department of Wildlife and Fisheries

Lazy journalism.

Emergency Alert
Florida Department of Wildlife and Fisheries

Urgent: Increased Shark Activity Alert

Date: [Current Date]

Attention Beachgoers:

The Florida Department of Wildlife and Fisheries has observed a significant increase in shark activity in coastal areas. Recent studies have identified a surprising attractant for sharks: bikini tops, particularly those with string ties and bulbous designs.

Key Findings:

String Bikini Tops: The dangling strings of string bikini tops resemble natural prey movements, drawing sharks closer to the wearer.
Bulbous Tops: Tops with a more pronounced, bulbous shape further increase attraction by mimicking the silhouette of marine life.
Recommendations for Safety:

To minimize the risk of shark encounters while enjoying the beach, we advise the following:

Remove Bikini Tops in Water: If you are wearing a string or bulbous bikini top, remove it before entering the water.
Secure the Top: Tie the bikini top securely around your bottoms or waist to prevent the strings from dangling and creating an attractant.
Your safety is our priority. Please take these precautions seriously and share this information with fellow beachgoers. If you observe any shark activity, exit the water immediately and alert local authorities.

Stay safe and enjoy the beach responsibly.

Florida Department of Wildlife and Fisheries

Look, people pay a lot of money on their beach vacations these days. They just need to get away from it all.

Going to the beach and having sharks ruin it is just unacceptable. If you cant get the shark situation under control, we will just go somewhere else.

Do they jog?

swimming in gulf is like swimming in a fish bowl with fish excrement everywhere