re: The Workplace Bragger- "One Upper Edition"

I have a coworker that is about 5' 2" and weighs 260 lbs and he tells everybody that he ran a 4.40 40 yard dash in high school a few years ago.

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have a coworker that is about 5' 2" and weighs 260 lbs and he tells everybody that he ran a 4.40 40 yard dash in high school a few years ago.

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Did they roll him downhill?

We have a similar guy in our office, instead of him one upping you, it's his son or brother in law.

How'd yall do fishing this weekend Chedball?

Oh we had a nice box. 12 sac aux lait, 7 nice lake runners and 4 bass.

Him, yeah my son did good too, he caught his limit of trout and was back home for 8.

You and I are apparently a lot alike. Except that I made 36 on the ACT and dated and married supermodels.

We need a thread to offer absolutely true facts about ourselves that no one would believe. I gave a Porsche to a girlfriend for her 18th birthday so she would have a car for college.

BAck when I was a teenager I worked construction and there was a guy who had major whopers.

1. Claimed he was driving his grandfather's combine by himself when he was only 4 yrs old.

2. Claimed to beat the arse of a 6'4" 220lb "cowboy" at taco bell late one night because the cowboy was being physical with his wife. Keep in mind this guy telling the lie was 5'5" 130lbs with a birdd chest.

Maybe he had fast hands.


You check his knuckles?

He switched positions but the last guy I ran across was the epitome of a 1 upper


Finds out I like craft beer. Asks me the most I've drank in a day. Proceeds to tell me he can drink 12 beers and be perfectly fine. 18 he feels it. After a case he usually switches to liquor. Mind you this is a guy who doesn't really drink much, per him.

Sees me eating Mexican food with hot salsa Verde cup on the side that I'm dipping chips and tacos in and sweating from eating it. Proceeds to tell me he puts an amount of salsa Verde equal to my food bite on each of his food bites, which is an impossible amount of food to consume in a bite.

Finds out I'm eating crawfish next weekend. Well he never buys crawfish. He can easily go get 12 to 15 sacks by catching them old fashioned in canals by his house.

Finds out I worked at a zoo. Well he is getting a kangaroo as a pet next year, go figure. As I tell him you can't take care of an adult kangaroo for safety reasons, he tells me he will cut off his claws and get rid of him when he gets big.

It's a 24/7 one up thing with this guy. I found it hilarious

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We need a thread to offer absolutely true facts about ourselves that no one would believe.

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I know a kid that got a 35 ACT score, then a Marshall scholarship. His sister got a 36.

I was in China for about 4 minutes.

I made it from Sherwood and I-12 to I-55 at Hammond in 16 minutes one night in 1982.

About 10 years ago I worked with a guy that no matter what you said he had a story for you. One example would be that one Monday he asked me what I did this weekend. I told him I was hungover all day Sunday and just sat around and watched a Rocky marathon. He goes on to tell me that in 1980 he went to the Superdome to watch the Sugar Ray Leonard and Roberto Duran fight. Sylvester Stallone was in his seat and would not get up. The dude tells me that he picked Sly up by the throat and threw him five rows and took his seat. That is just one example of many crazy stories from this guy either kicking somebody's arse or plowing chicks.

I don't need to make up stuff to one-up people. That's the difference. Plus, I don't really have time to sit around and share stories at my new job. Conversation about the murderer/jumper last week lasted all of three minutes at the end of break. Was working the rest of the day