re: The wife and I made a difficult decision this weekend

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Volvagia

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I agree with most of what you say here except for

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It obviously isn’t an obligation, but now a days deciding not to provide at least significant help is a decision to knowingly set them at least a decade behind the curve.

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Everyone has their own course in life. But I’ve heard frequently that people who have to earn their success (degrees, jobs, otherwise) against hardships are much more fulfilled with life as opposed to people who get helped out all along the way.

I was lucky my parents had the financial ability to pay for college for my sister and I. Our "job" after high school was to go to college and get degrees. They paid for tuition, rent, utilities, vehicle, and insurance.

During the summers and winters, I worked my arse of for an offshore oil servicing company. I was either broiling in the sun or freezing in the cold, and I was able to save that money to spend throughout the semester on going out, dates, food, etc.

I appreciated what they did for me, and graduated in 4.5 years (would have been 4 except I had to take off a semester due to an injury). I received a degree in a science based field, and was employed immediately after college. Have been since then, and when I graduated, all bills were immediately turned over to me.

I had friends who were on financial assistance. Hell, most of my friends were on assistance of some kind and they all turned out fine.

While I agree that paying for your kid's college tuition isn't a right, if a parent has the means to do so, then they should help in some way. My parents would put aside "early retirement" for their kids. Speaks volumes for their dedication to us as parents. Coming out of college debt-free was huge for my success as an adult.

By the way, they both have retired from high paying, successful careers; my dad at 55 and mom at 61. So one can do both.

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That being that we will not be paying for our kids college.

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FWIW...the home they stick you in is going to suck.

how old are you and how old are your kids? I feel like this is a lot of cart before the horse.

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The counter to that is that if they gave them a leg up, they could accumulate more wealth to ease that burden.

We're arguing over which point in life we attack the same issue.

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Difference is, you have control over your retirement funds. You can't guarantee your kid is going to take a college degree and "accumulate wealth". Statistics already tell us that the vast majority of people can't come up with $2,000 in an emergency. Got news for you, but a lot of those people also have degrees, often more than one.

Wise choice. College was a waste, and I have a postgraduate degree.

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Wise choice. College was a waste, and I have a postgraduate degree.

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Does your undergrad start with bs or ba?

I figured it was a troll thread after reading the OP. The amount of pages so far seems to say otherwise.

This has been interesting to read this thread.

So many people on here bash millennials for being soft, having no skills, no work ethic, etc. Yet, these same people have no issue not only paying for college for their kids (regardless of whether is'a worthy degree or school). They have no problem paying for their kids, so the kids don't have to work.

It's like politics. Everyone wants to bemoan the crappy politicians. But no one wants to vote out THEIR representative.

I promise you, these same people will bash "millennial" every chance they get... but not their "millennial". Their kid is perfect, and not spoiled at all... it's all the other kids that are spoiled.

My parents did not pay for a dime of my college education. I worked, had scholarships, and loans. They did not pay for my car, my gas, my auto insurance, etc. They told me from day one that if I wanted to live at home and go to college, I was welcome to do so. They told me any time I wanted to come home, for a weekend, holidays, etc, I was welcome to do so. They never charged me any rent or for food or anything whenever I was home.

If there is still a TOPS around when my kids go to college, they can get that, or they can get other scholarships. They can go to UNO and stay at home if they don't want to pay for room and board and expenses at college. Or they can get loans. Or a job. Whatever. If they don't get loans or a scholarship, then they can go to a two year college, and then transfer to a four year college so it is easier for them to pay for.

College is not a right. It is a privilege. There are many, many, MANY jobs out there that pay extremely well without a college degree. If they want a college degree, they will make the investment to do so.

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Any chance this bubble bursts in the next few years and we can change our minds?

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As long as parents continue to float the bill for their kids, there will be no reason for colleges to reduce costs.

We have a friend that son played HS baseball. He was decent at best. Didn't start until senior year, then batted 7th senior year. He REALLY wanted to play college ball but wasn't good enough to get any offers.

So he goes to a D-III school to play college ball. Total cost of said college is $46,000 per year. He got a total of $26,000 a year in grants and academic scholarships and loans. Our friends sold their house, making 45K in the process, and are using that to cover the difference. In addition, they are now renting a much cheaper home, to free up more money a month to help pay for the kid.

This kid could have gone to LSU with TOPS and had very little costs... and could have found a rec league adult league baseball team to play on. But the parents didn't want to tell the kid NO.