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Started By
Message
re: The "tell everyone something interesting about yourself" bit
Posted on 8/17/15 at 12:32 pm to KG6
Posted on 8/17/15 at 12:32 pm to KG6
KG6
It must suck to be a completely boring, uninteresting, socially inept individual. I feel sorry for you.
quote:
I'm at a work event (~150 people) and it's the second time I've been here recently. I know they are going to get everyone up to introduce themselves. Last time they requested we all day what we do, year experience, and an "interesting fact" about ourselves. Most people would say, I like to hunt, or I build cars on the weekend. I hate these things (the awkward intros) with a passion. So this time I'd like to go in with something to throw everyone off. Just a complete lie that is somewhat believable. Like "my grandfather invented floss". Something that will turn heads and people will be pretty sure I'm lying, but couldnt prove it. What's the OT got?
It must suck to be a completely boring, uninteresting, socially inept individual. I feel sorry for you.
1
Posted on 8/17/15 at 12:32 pm to jmcs68
Drinks help break the ice, they help everybody relax, etc...
(It was a joke for a guy to call out a babe during his intro
)
(It was a joke for a guy to call out a babe during his intro
)Posted on 8/17/15 at 12:33 pm to KG6
I just returned from Africa and brought Ebola with me...now you are all screwed.
Posted on 8/17/15 at 12:37 pm to mizzoukills
Or I'm tired of the same old shite and was looking for some entertainment value. I present about 5 times at the event. I have no problems talking in front of people. This crap is just useless. I have quite a few hobies, but I'm well aware that no one gives a shite that I fish or enjoy riding my bike. I'd much rather have a laugh thinking of the stupid shite I can try to get by on people. We joke about it at our table, so I thought I'd extend the table to the OT.
Posted on 8/17/15 at 12:40 pm to KG6
Agree, those intros are a PITA.
It's always cool to say something funny, and of course, be brief.
Keep it innocuous, in today's PC world.
Unless the babe in the third row is really hot...
It's always cool to say something funny, and of course, be brief.
Keep it innocuous, in today's PC world.
Unless the babe in the third row is really hot...
Posted on 8/17/15 at 12:46 pm to Darth_Vader
quote:
Do you enjoy licking random dudes' spunk off her tits as well?
Nah, only spunk that's below the waist.
Posted on 8/17/15 at 12:56 pm to KG6
This is what you say:
"My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery.
My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.
My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. A sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. If I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really.
At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fifteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it."
You're welcome
"My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery.
My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.
My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. A sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. If I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really.
At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fifteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it."
You're welcome
This post was edited on 8/17/15 at 1:01 pm
Posted on 8/17/15 at 1:03 pm to KG6
"I was the largest baby ever born in Louisiana"
Posted on 8/17/15 at 1:15 pm to KG6
Really all you have to say is "My name is ____ also known as lsu480 (or any fictional poster) on tigerdropping.com where I pose as a 6'7 multimillionaire drug addict, who whooped Jared Allen's arse, ran a 4.3 40 in high school, graduated Havaad with a 4.5 gpa, and have more bitches than I know what to do with". You're sure to get the attention you're looking for.
Posted on 8/17/15 at 1:35 pm to 13SaintTiger
I was elated at age 12 when they said my IQ was 180, but became disappointed when I learned they misplaced the decimal.
Posted on 8/17/15 at 1:40 pm to KG6
Actually, if you said the following...
...I would love to be a fly on the wall to gauge crowd reactions.
quote:
"My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery.
My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.
My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. A sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. If I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really.
At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fifteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it."
...I would love to be a fly on the wall to gauge crowd reactions.
Posted on 8/17/15 at 1:47 pm to KG6
quote:Take a couple of Adderall and let the chips fall where they may. Trust me, you'll have something to say.
KG6
Posted on 8/17/15 at 2:27 pm to Rougarou4lsu
"My piss never foams...because I'm such a hard worker"
Posted on 8/17/15 at 2:30 pm to RockAndRollDetective
quote:
RockAndRollDetective
I think I can say that's the first time I've ever seen that quote referenced before. Bravo.
Posted on 8/17/15 at 2:32 pm to htownjeep
quote:
Take a couple of Adderall and let the chips fall where they may.
"....so! I guess that's enough about me, let's dive into the material shall we? Oh, actually looks like we're out of time here"
Posted on 8/17/15 at 2:50 pm to Salmon
I invented post-it notes.
My uncle actually did this at 3-M. They were trying to make a permanent glue or something.
My uncle actually did this at 3-M.
They were trying to make a permanent glue or something. 
Posted on 8/17/15 at 2:51 pm to KG6
I rarely wear underwear, but when I do, it's usually something unusual.
This post was edited on 8/17/15 at 2:52 pm
Posted on 8/18/15 at 1:57 pm to Darth_Vader
quote:
Do you enjoy licking random dudes' spunk off her tits as well?
Leave it to the Auburn fan to find common ground.
Posted on 8/18/15 at 2:01 pm to KG6
quote:
Something that will turn heads and people will be pretty sure I'm lying, but couldnt prove it. What's the OT got?
Sounds like a perfect time to come out of the closet, or at least practice for the day you tell your family.
Posted on 8/18/15 at 2:08 pm to udtiger
quote:
I rarely wear underwear, but when I do, it's usually something unusual.
I want to party with you, cowboy.
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