re: The “never-stopping” lifestyle

I think a big thing is understanding the inefficiencies in your day. I work 60-70 hours a week, but all that's done is help me identify where time is wasted.

For example:

(1) Live close to work. This is massive - not because it's close to my job and I like being close, rather, i minimize car time and maximize free time.

(2) Spend good money on a home office. Work isn't bad at all if you're interested in what you do, but sometimes, being in your office can be a drag. So, I setup a room in our home and had it completely outfitted to the same standards of what I'm working with at the office: 2 large monitors, docking station, ergonomic chair, laserjet printer, big desk, and a nice tv to peek up at whenever I need a break.

When you're in shorts and a t-shirt, got a nice cup of coffee and you've got college gameday on in the background, 4 hours of Saturday morning work is a breeze. You feel more free, and, it's nice being close to your family at home.

Take care of Yourself/Workout It sucks getting up at 5:30 4-5 times a week, but, I've noticed a big difference on my happiness and job performance when I workout, eat right, and take care of my body. This means lotion out of the shower, face cream, toothpaste, vitamins, brushing your teeth, and ordering pre-cooked healthy meals via a meal prep platform.

The meal prep subscription is huge. You (1) don't waste time on cooking, (2) You don't have to think about what you're going to eat, (3) you feel obligated to eat healthy, due to the sunk cost you've already put into the meal, and (4) they're generally pretty damn good.

I'm 30 as well - but these are things I have done to quell the storm. No kids yet - honestly, waiting for the next level up so I can begin having flexibility in my calendar.

If you've got a demanding job, chances are, they're compensating you well enough for you take appropriate measure to enhance your life. With all of the enhancements to modern technology, simple pleasures like having the ballgame on at night in the office, or being able to work from home can really help your work/life integration.

Either your wife needs to " stay at home" or you need a different job. That shite you have going is a recipe for disaster.

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I'm 30 as well - but these are things I have done to quell the storm. No kids yet - honestly, waiting for the next level up so I can begin having flexibility in my calendar.

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I think this is key.. not directed at the OP, but i think most people have kids way before they are prepared, time-wise as well as financially.

Or just do like me and dont have kids.. i still feel overwhelmed at times, so i’m not sure how those with kids manage it all.. it’s not surprising that a lot of stuff falls through the cracks.

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I feel the exact way as you about work and how taking time to relax isn't even relaxing. If I added in a wife and kids, I would probably kill myself. I totally understand now how people become alcoholics and drug addicts.

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or maybe adding a wife and kids would add some perspective to the important things in life

just a thought

yeah, for me. without the wife and family, being said cog would never be worth it and i'd never find the motivation alone.

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Admit it, baw, you just want him to be miserable like the rest of us, don’t you?

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he sounds pretty miserable already

He just said he'd kill himself if he got married and had kids. He's plenty miserable already.

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Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.

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-Tyler Durden


Grow up, realize you chose your reality. You chose to take that job, chose to get married, chose to have a kid. I hope you knew what responsibilities came along with each of those choices.

Now, it's ok to feel pressure and exhaustion and stress. But you can resent them, or you can accept them.

Find the positive in the results of the choices you made. Your job allows you to provide for your family. It is a stepping stone to the next one that will pay more. You are learning new skills and meeting other professionals.

Your wife is your partner in this life, your team mate. Together you are stronger than either of you would be alone. She's the one who will have your back when no one else will.

Your kid is your chance to better this world in a small but meaningful way. Make sure you're raising a person you would admire and seek to be around. Challenge them to be better than you or their mom.

Golf is a great hobby, but maybe find one that the family does together. When I was a kid the whole family went fishing. We spent the whole day out on the boat. We had fun, bonded, and shared.

But don't give up golf entirely. You need time away as well.

It's all about balance.

But above all else, remember, you're not special.

We need that extra time to post on TD, baw!

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shite I bet most people in this thread could simply cut their hours by 10/week and their average job performance wouldn't significantly change.

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I'd say most weeks I do maybe 15 hours of actual meaningful work. There are certainly some weeks where I'm busting arse 40+ hours, but those are the exception and not the rule.