The conversation I had with my kids on the way to church

"Kids, what do you wanna eat after church?"

My three year old said, "Daddy, I wanna poop steak and peepee cola," and then she giggled.

Confused and surprised, I crinkled my eyes, looked at my wife, and silently said what the frick?

"Did you say you want a poop steak?"

"Yes. I wanna poop steak," my 3 year old stated while laughing.

"How would you like your poop steak prepared: Medium, medium-well, or well?" I started to laugh. My wife looked at me with an are you serious expression.

"Daddy...I want puke soup too!!"

"You want puke soup as well? That's a lot of food! I suggest you order a cup of puke soup rather than a bowl," I said playing along.

My wife replied, "Can we please not discuss poop steak and puke soup anymore? Thank you."

"Do you want a Mommy or Daddy poop steak," I said continuing the incredibly inappropriate Sunday morning conversation.

"I want Mommy poop." Again, more giggles from the backseat.

"Are you sure? Have you smelled Mommy's poop steak lately? I highly suggest you order a Daddy poop steak."

I started laughing at the absurdity of my comment just as my wife hit me in the shoulder.

Everyone laughed. Good times.