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re: Terrible twos - when will it end?
Posted on 9/4/17 at 5:49 pm to saintforlife1
Posted on 9/4/17 at 5:49 pm to saintforlife1
Give him a reason to cry.
0
Posted on 9/4/17 at 7:00 pm to saintforlife1
United front. If not, the child will play one against the other. Then the marriage strife really begins.
Posted on 9/4/17 at 7:10 pm to saintforlife1
Before you know it.
Enjoy it, one day real soon they'll be in HS
Enjoy it, one day real soon they'll be in HS
Posted on 9/4/17 at 7:25 pm to saintforlife1
Brother I am here for you. Everyone said it was going to be impossible. Said he was going to turn into a nightmare. Said wife and me would be divorced over it. Blah blah blah.
As soon as this shite started, and it started right about the same age you're talking about, I did two things.
1. I told the wife. "Babe, I got this"
2. I took the kid and sat him down and had a man to child conversation about how he is supposed to act. I was stern, yet loving. I explained why as if he was an adult. They are smarter than you think. He took it in stride and was very pleasant. Then I got in my truck and went to get a pack of cigs. Haven't seen either of them in 15 years.
As soon as this shite started, and it started right about the same age you're talking about, I did two things.
1. I told the wife. "Babe, I got this"
2. I took the kid and sat him down and had a man to child conversation about how he is supposed to act. I was stern, yet loving. I explained why as if he was an adult. They are smarter than you think. He took it in stride and was very pleasant. Then I got in my truck and went to get a pack of cigs. Haven't seen either of them in 15 years.
Posted on 9/4/17 at 8:19 pm to saintforlife1
My sister and her husband did the ignore method recently, and it worked well
Posted on 9/5/17 at 12:43 am to Isabelle81
quote:
What causes the temper tantrums?
Primarily because he is hungry but refuses to eat and it just goes downhill from there. Another reason for the tantrums are if he doesn't take a good nap in the afternoon is tired come evenings and one little thing or one 'no' can trigger a meltdown of epic proportions.
quote:
What is the difference in how either of you want to handle it?
It was in my second post on the first page. Wife wants to be strict all the time and I don't.
quote:
Why the arguments, hopefully not in front of the child.
No. The fights are usually after he goes to bed. Never in front of him, obviously.
Posted on 9/5/17 at 6:14 am to saintforlife1
When they move out.
I have a 10 year old - We are moving so yesterday I got up at 5 am and spent four hours packing, then drove five hours (with my wife yapping in my ear), then spent three hours putting shite up and unpacking.
The whole time my son is complaining because he's booooored and has nothing to do.
I have a 10 year old - We are moving so yesterday I got up at 5 am and spent four hours packing, then drove five hours (with my wife yapping in my ear), then spent three hours putting shite up and unpacking.
The whole time my son is complaining because he's booooored and has nothing to do.
Posted on 9/5/17 at 6:19 am to saintforlife1
If my kid throws a tantrum and it's because she hasn't eaten or napped, I take full responsibility and do my best to not put us in that position again.
It's not a toddlers responsibility to take care of itself. It's the parents.
It's not a toddlers responsibility to take care of itself. It's the parents.
Posted on 9/5/17 at 6:25 am to saintforlife1
quote:
Terrible twos - when will it end?
Never. It just changes stages.
Posted on 9/5/17 at 8:24 am to saintforlife1
Haha only parents that believe in terrible twos are the ones who have yet to have three year olds. Just wait.
Posted on 9/5/17 at 8:46 am to saintforlife1
My son just turned three.
Prayers sent
Prayers sent
Posted on 9/5/17 at 10:53 am to saintforlife1
Keep in mind that his idea of normality will depend on your behaviors as well. I talk to my 3 yr old like an adult and rarely lose my temper. When he does something good he gets a high five and a fist bump, bad and he gets a serious but controlled face to face talk. No temper problems, no anger, he smiles 24/7 and is very well behaved. If you scream and spank for everything he does, chances are he doesn't even know what he is doing wrong half of the time, which can cause him to act out more. I suggest some actual child psychology research instead of asking this place for advice.
Posted on 9/5/17 at 10:56 am to DirtyMikeandtheBoys
quote:
2. I took the kid and sat him down and had a man to child conversation about how he is supposed to act. I was stern, yet loving. I explained why as if he was an adult. They are smarter than you think. He took it in stride and was very pleasant. Then I got in my truck and went to get a pack of cigs. Haven't seen either of them in 15 years.
I laughed. Laughing was the right move, right?
Posted on 9/5/17 at 11:13 am to saintforlife1
quote:
Primarily because he is hungry but refuses to eat and it just goes downhill from there. Another reason for the tantrums are if he doesn't take a good nap in the afternoon is tired come evenings and one little thing or one 'no' can trigger a meltdown of epic proportions.
This is good info. I know you guys are working your asses off (I have nine month old twin girls, so I understand the workload and stress), but this is something that you are directly responsible for. Try to work toward improving the nap situation, and feeding in a more timely manner.
We aren't talking about a situation where the kid is losing his shite because he is spoiled. As I mentioned before, no one is saying with any seriousness that you are being shitty parents, but this is something you can directly control.
The other points that people have brought up are good as well. Communicate better with your wife. My wife and I are really struggling right now because of the stress of taking care of these two girls. I know it's not easy, man.
I also think that your wife is probably in the right with her preference for managing the situations. Take her lead on this. You will know if and when she crosses the line with being harsh. Talk to her about it when it happens, but she's right that the kid needs firm, strict routines and discipline.
Hang in there man, and wish me luck in a year or so.
Posted on 9/5/17 at 11:16 am to Jebeco
quote:Of my three, my oldest was the worst at three, my middle was terrible at 1, and my youngest has been pretty easy his entire upbringing.
a only parents that believe in terrible twos are the ones who have yet to have three year olds. Just wait
My middle boys first year was like being in hell.
Posted on 9/5/17 at 11:20 am to saintforlife1
quote:My wife and I never fought about discipline or how to discipline. We fought because we were both being selfish with our time. We wanted to go to bed..but the kids wouldnt settle down...we wanted to watch the LSU game but it started at 8:30 for the love of God....then we got/get pissy with each other.
No. The fights are usually after he goes to bed. Never in front of him, obviously.
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