- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
Spinoff Thread: OT Parents, do you go through your kids stuff?
Posted on 12/24/16 at 12:15 pm
Posted on 12/24/16 at 12:15 pm
So the nutria rat thread got me thinking about how much to respect a teenager's privacy. My oldest is 11 so I haven't crossed that bridge yet but it is coming up fast. I am pro authoritarian within my household. What I mean is....it's my house, I pay for everything, I am responsible for what happens so I should have access to everything that I need to see
What is the OT's opinion of going through your kids (especially teenagers) things?
What is the OT's opinion of going through your kids (especially teenagers) things?
20
Posted on 12/24/16 at 12:17 pm to Bourre
If I have a reason, of course.
Posted on 12/24/16 at 12:17 pm to Bourre
Of course.
It's your job as a parent.
It's your job as a parent.
Posted on 12/24/16 at 12:19 pm to Bourre
I was at a party the other night and apparently it's pretty common to be able to pinpoint exactly where every cell phone on your plan is.
Seems like a double edged sword.
ETA: I mean, how awkward must it be to have to have a discussion about not sending nudes to a teenager? On one hand, as a guy, you KNOW that teenage boys have seized on this technology. And girls know it's one sure way to get attention and essentially a form of currency.
Having to explain that no matter what these little shitbags promise and swear, the second those pics go out, other people are seeing them.
It's terrifying...and I know the kind of stuff that went on when I was a teenager and we didn't even have access to this sort of video and camera tech. I can imagine how easy it is now.
Seems like a double edged sword.
ETA: I mean, how awkward must it be to have to have a discussion about not sending nudes to a teenager? On one hand, as a guy, you KNOW that teenage boys have seized on this technology. And girls know it's one sure way to get attention and essentially a form of currency.
Having to explain that no matter what these little shitbags promise and swear, the second those pics go out, other people are seeing them.
It's terrifying...and I know the kind of stuff that went on when I was a teenager and we didn't even have access to this sort of video and camera tech. I can imagine how easy it is now.
This post was edited on 12/24/16 at 12:26 pm
Posted on 12/24/16 at 12:19 pm to Bourre
Oldest is 13. Yes, we do.
Posted on 12/24/16 at 12:21 pm to Bourre
Sometimes my wife checks phones for accidental dick pics from some dude in Ohio.
Posted on 12/24/16 at 12:21 pm to Bourre
Teenagers have a right to privacy. I wouldnt go through their stuff unless I felt there was something harmful they were keeping from me.
Posted on 12/24/16 at 12:24 pm to StringedInstruments
quote:
Teenagers have a right to privacy
Posted on 12/24/16 at 12:24 pm to Bourre
As I've explained to kids I've worked with, it's "their house, their rules" when it comes to their parents going through their shite.
I will say there's a fine line between staying on top of making sure they're not doing some shady shite and giving them enough freedom that they don't feel completely smothered. They'll never be trustworthy if you don't give them an opportunity to gain that trust. You have to find that happy medium though. I've seen how some of my cousins have turned out by either not having enough supervision or far too much and neither outcome is pretty.
I will say there's a fine line between staying on top of making sure they're not doing some shady shite and giving them enough freedom that they don't feel completely smothered. They'll never be trustworthy if you don't give them an opportunity to gain that trust. You have to find that happy medium though. I've seen how some of my cousins have turned out by either not having enough supervision or far too much and neither outcome is pretty.
This post was edited on 12/24/16 at 12:40 pm
Posted on 12/24/16 at 12:33 pm to Bourre
Yes
Posted on 12/24/16 at 12:37 pm to Upslope
Yeah, that is why your wife looks for dick pics.
On topic...a parent should
On topic...a parent should
This post was edited on 12/25/16 at 5:19 pm
Posted on 12/24/16 at 1:05 pm to StringedInstruments
quote:
Teenagers have a right to privacy.
Not if they live in my house.
quote:
I wouldnt go through their stuff unless I felt there was something harmful they were keeping from me.
Wait, so you agree with me, because this
quote:translates to I would go through their stuff. The best way to know
I wouldnt go through their stuff unless
quote:is to periodically go through their stuff.
there was something harmful they were keeping from me.
Posted on 12/24/16 at 1:09 pm to Bourre
Hell yes.
Posted on 12/24/16 at 1:11 pm to BluegrassBelle
quote:
I will say there's a fine line between staying on top of making sure they're not doing some shady shite and giving them enough freedom that they don't feel completely smothered.
Wise words their. Parenting as a team makes this easier and the kid will generally give one or the other parent all the cues they need to have a clue, and periodically checking out their stuff, helps.
quote:
They'll never be trustworthy if you don't give them an opportunity to gain that trust.
True statement generally speaking. Allow them to earn your trust. The going through their stuff should decrease as they approach adulthood. A 17 year old should have nearly the independence an adult child living or visiting your house should have.
Posted on 12/24/16 at 1:50 pm to mdomingue
Absolutely do not agree. How little do you trust the kids you raised that you periodically feel the need to search their stuff? If I suspected something harmful - say I smelled pot on them or they came out of their room drunk or some other hypothetical example like a suicide note or hint they had a weapon they intended to use - and they refused to communicate with me about it, I'd search their stuff. But I'd never do it to flex muscle and show them that it's really "my house" and that it's all actually "my stuff."
Posted on 12/24/16 at 1:53 pm to Bourre
Only my daughter's panty draw.
I kid. I don't have daughters.
I kid. I don't have daughters.
Posted on 12/24/16 at 1:54 pm to Bourre
quote:
it's my house, I pay for everything, I am responsible for what happens
Couldn't agree more.
And yes, when my kids enter their teens they will hate me at first but like a majority of us, they will understand why parents do what they do many years after.
Posted on 12/24/16 at 1:57 pm to Bourre
I will not be taking the authoritarian route when I have kids. I think it's actually counterproductive. My parents took a more "let them make their own mistakes and then teach them lessons when needed". My sisters and I turned out great and none of us have every been in any kind of trouble or made any big mistakes.
My mother in law, on the other hand, is like big brother to my younger sister in law. Always tracking her phone, going through her shite and reading her messages. My SIL as a result is wild and crazy and loves to do the opposite of what MIL says.
My mother in law, on the other hand, is like big brother to my younger sister in law. Always tracking her phone, going through her shite and reading her messages. My SIL as a result is wild and crazy and loves to do the opposite of what MIL says.
This post was edited on 12/24/16 at 2:00 pm
Posted on 12/24/16 at 2:04 pm to Bourre
Yes. I look up the browsing history on their ipads, instagram friends and youtube history. I'll go sit in my son's room and see who he's chatting with on Xbox live.
Posted on 12/24/16 at 2:12 pm to Bourre
Have three children, all in young adulthood...no, not once, never even crossed my mind
Page 1 of 3
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News