re: Spin-off thread about inheritance.

quote:

---

Apparently many on this site think you’re a piece of shite if you think a family member’s money or property should go to their children or grandchildren instead of it going to their new young wife.

---

There's pitfall in giving it to the new wife as well. When my wife's grandfather died, he split his estate by giving 50% to his second wife and the other 50% split equally between his two children. Doesn't sound unreasonable until the wife gets dementia, gives away nearly $3 million to politicians and scammers and dies, leaving her estate to a stepson no one really knew and has his own mental issues. The upshot of all of this is now the time has come to sell the family property (about 130 acres in south Fulton County, GA, south of the airport) and the stepson doesn't have the mental wherewithal to participate in the discussion about selling. Furthermore, he has no family that anyone knows of and no will that anyone knows of and he has physical health issues along with the aforementioned mental ones. No one in the family has any idea who will inherit his half of the common property. It's just a huge mess. I'm nearly 100% certain the family will lose the property on the courthouse steps in a tax auction, which I'd like to think will cause Newt to roll over in his grave.

Here is a take - what if the "inheritence" isn't really worth much?

For example - A home, in the middle of nowhere, that has been in the father's family for a century+? The father inherited the farm from his parents, grandparents, etc., and intended to leave the legacy to his future generations. He is now very old, and his wife of 60+ years wants to leave it to some church.

I do believe the children have the right to be upset in losing a piece of thier history. There are certain things that carry more familial significance. Money isn't it.

Funny enough, I actually can't remarry unless I want to stop receiving his pension, so it's one and done for me regardless of what I want.

I don’t expect an inheritance and hope my parents spend their money and enjoy their life. Just don’t underestimate the cost of skilled care.

But would I be mad if some outsider snuck into the mix and started wedging themselves in between a surviving parent and my family? Yeah.

quote:

---

Funny enough, I actually can't remarry unless I want to stop receiving his pension, so it's one and done for me regardless of what I want

---

That would be reason enough for me to not remarry.

quote:

---

Should everything that I’ve accumulated, including wealth, automatically go to my children?

---

Nah, I don’t believe in forced inheritance.

quote:

---

Maybe it's because im the one who is well off and have people in my family that think i owe them something.

---

I think you and Bhtiger are talking about two different things. He has moved his conversation in the emotional, rather than materialistic direction - he is disappointed if his parent didn’t leave him anything because it implies some lack of regard. You are angling at this from your pride in being able to take care of yourself.

I think you and he probably would understand each other if you tried.

quote:

---

There's pitfall in giving it to the new wife as well. When my wife's grandfather died, he split his estate by giving 50% to his second wife and the other 50% split equally between his two children. Doesn't sound unreasonable until the wife gets dementia, gives away nearly $3 million to politicians and scammers and dies, leaving her estate to a stepson no one really knew and has his own mental issues.

---

That father should have made a will that gave that money to his kids in a trust, rather than to his wife. Then he could have given his wife the use of that trust for as long as she lived. That would send the money to his kids when she died.

I have lived my life expecting nothing from anyone. If I end up getting any inheritance then I will be thankful for it and hopefully use it in away to make whoever left it to me proud.

I had a very poor relationship with my mother. When she passed away she left my brother all she had which was a small house, paid for, and $150,000. My brother asked me if I was upset and I told him absolutely not. Why should she have left me anything. We didn’t even speak the last 10 years of her life while the two of them had always remained close. He just couldn’t understand why I want in the least bit suprised or angry.

My MIL had a decent amount of money but the nursing will end up taking it all. When she still lived alone we kept telling her she needed to speak with someone about setting things up properly to shelter her money for this type of scenario but she always accused us of just trying to get her money. Now all she talks about is how sad she is she won’t have anything to leave her children and how all the money her husband worked so hard for will just be gone.

My father has even more money. He remarried about 15 years ago. If he goes first, all goes to his current wife for her to continue to live on..as it should. But once she goes, I’m almost certain she will leave it all to her daughter from her first marriage despite what my father has said his wishes are. He wants it split three ways evenly between myself, my brother , and his step daughter.

Bottom line is I could have ended up quite a bit and will likely get nothing. But I never expected to so I have set my financial situation up to where I am ok without it.

I have told my children the same thing. Don’t plan on getting a dime. Once I am retired, wife and I plan on enjoying life. If there is anything left when we are gone, then we will absolutely leave it to them and happily Hope they enjoy it. But if my last penny pays for the funeral..oh well.