re: Sober baws of the OT Update

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I hate asking for help

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You shouldn’t. Lots of people need help. Lots of people are willing and happy to help. Nobody likes asking for help. It’s perceived as a weakness, but that perception is wrong.

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but here I am.

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Awesome.

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r. I have a hard time for some reason around the 100 day mark give or take 10 days

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Very common.

I agree with the CBT, you have to realize why you started drinking, at one point it’s served you well. You have to find out the emotion that you cannot tolerate that makes you turn to alcohol, otherwise you will use other coping mechanisms to suppress these emotions, like the suggested smoking cigars, or even something that appears healthy like exercise. You must realize that the feeling to drink will be there, and that’s to be expected, become friends with it.

AA seems the most successful route, but I have some books I can recommend. Annie Graces “The Naked Mind”, A modern day version of Alan Carrs “how to quit drinking the easy way”. Gabor mates entire work, and his self actualizing book disguised as a parenting book that he co-authored, “Hold On To Your Kids”. Susan David’s book “Emotional Agility”, it has some great tools that you can implement to changing your habits. Russell Brands podcast is incredibly insightful, and is said to have a great book on addiction based off his experiences with AA.

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Start early to get rid of the hangiety and go from there. What’s funny is when I was sober I specifically remember driving past stores before lunch to buy beer and remember how ridiculous that was

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I used to make jokes about how vodka and eggs tasted great together. (Vodka in the morning). Jokingly.

Then. I found myself sneaking pulls of vodka while cooking eggs for me and my girlfriend on weekend mornings to hide the shakes.

It’s a progressive problem and once it starts progressing rapidly, it’s a hell of a roller coaster and mostly going down.

For me, they’re were the things I had lost and things I hadn’t lost yet. Eventually there was only one list.

I never lost the love and support of my immediate family and a few friends and for that I am eternally thankful. I couldn’t have sobered you without knowing they’d be there when I finally did.

Let’s grab a coffee sometime Dave

OP, lots of good info, you asked for help which is huge. Hit my email and will help you anyway I can

Its a battle every day I bet
I don't have an issue but I've heard enough from people that its something they think about everyday.

I wish you the best and strength in your recovery!

I fell off the proverbial wagon around 3 years for a couple days. Have 6+ currently.

There is no real stigma with having a few "false starts" in early recovery. I did and most people I know also. The clean time still counts in the big picture and the knowledge you gained didn't disappear. Disappointed in yourself? Sure, that is normal but it's also a great motivator.

For a different perspective, you have been sober for 100 out of 110 days (kind of a guess) which is way better than before I presume. Shake back and keep trying until you get it right.

Relapse is an opportunity for growth in many ways and I would argue some people need it to keep their ego in check. God knows I did around year 3 and I'm thankful in many ways.

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Let’s grab a coffee sometime Dave

OP, lots of good info, you asked for help which is huge. Hit my email and will help you anyway I can

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I’m down! I come to BR about once a month. Make meetings while I’m there. Definitely, let’s grab a coffee!

You can do this. Use the relapse as a reason to make an even stronger comeback. Definitely hook up with AA and find people to help you on this journey. No one understands an alcoholic better than another alcoholic and they can call you out on your bullshite when you frick up.

Find a new passion or hobby in life. We have hosted people in recovery by allowing them to come to our camp and fish and spend time on the bayou. We have all the fishing gear and boats for them to use. My wife said a person in recovery needs a new passion and nature and fishing/hunting, whatever is a great thing to do, to just commune with nature. I loved the idea and so we have our special guests

Our camp is a sober camp. We just don't like drinking anymore, having watched it destroy people that we love.Sure, some people can handle alcohol but some can't and we have a soft spot for them in recovery.

Best of luck to you. Find a new passion in life and immerse yourself in it.

No downvote or personal experience. Thankfully, I've been able to stop when I wanted.

But don't be ashamed of asking for help; it means you want to do better.

I hope you get back on the wagon and beat your previous streak. I've known a few friends who've had some problems and some managed to control their problems while some kept having problems.

I really hope you do well.