re: Sister cried when I didn't want to hold her baby

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my sister believes in emotional manipulation in order to trample people's personal boundaries regarding their bodily autonomy.

i should have asked her how she would feel if 15 years from now, her kid gets cornered by a classmate who starts touching him, and when her son says he doesn't want that, the classmate starts weeping and accusing her son of being rude for not letting his bodily autonomy be engrossed upon.

Because that's essentially what she did to me. Her kid can't even understand the world yet, and he is already being shown that personal boundaries and comfort zones don't matter if they make someone else upset.

This is how kids get molested by relatives. This is why teens end up in exploitative relationships with long-lasting trauma. That's how you end up with people in abusive relationships long into their 20s or 30s because they didn't know they could say no and protect their comfort zone and wellbeing. Because they're show time and time again that people's bodies are only theirs until someone turns on the waterworks, and then they're supposed to shut up, give up all their boundaries, and placate that person.

Is that what my sister wants to teach her kids? Really? That's what she's setting him up for? i'm not the a-hole. She is.

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