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Serial hipster ninja masturbator throwing rope in Seattle

Posted on 3/15/16 at 10:16 am
Posted by arseinclarse
Member since Apr 2007
35469 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 10:16 am
LINK





quote:

A surveillance camera installed at the home caught a masturbator at the same home Feb. 7, showing a man covered head to toe in black, save for the two body parts he used to perform his mission, Seattle police reports say.

His clothing included a hood, a wrap around his face and toe shoes. The night vision surveillance footage makes his attire appear white.


Posted by BRgetthenet
Member since Oct 2011
118270 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 10:17 am to
On the wall?

Damn. Nice spread.
Posted by Gradual_Stroke
Bee Cave, TX
Member since Oct 2012
20917 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 10:17 am to
quote:

head to toe in black,




Wait...
Posted by arseinclarse
Member since Apr 2007
35469 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 10:19 am to


The preferred shoe of serial masturbators
Posted by Rockbrc
Attic
Member since Nov 2015
9931 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 10:20 am to
Darwin, we need you.
Posted by BRgetthenet
Member since Oct 2011
118270 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 10:20 am to
What makes him hipster?
Posted by arseinclarse
Member since Apr 2007
35469 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 10:20 am to
The article says he is. It is Seattle.
Posted by Gradual_Stroke
Bee Cave, TX
Member since Oct 2012
20917 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 10:21 am to
He's clearly dressed head to toe in white
Posted by Green Chili Tiger
Lurking the Tin Foil Hat Board
Member since Jul 2009
50939 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 10:21 am to
At first I thought it was Storm Shadow:



but then I read this:
quote:

The night vision surveillance footage makes his attire appear white.


and now I know it's Snake Eyes:



Posted by dagrippa
Saigon
Member since Nov 2004
12171 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 10:22 am to
well unless he's gonna get the wall or house pregnant Darwin's already here
Posted by Btrtigerfan
Disgruntled employee
Member since Dec 2007
24176 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 10:22 am to
Dude needs to get back to the Circle K before his husband realizes he's gone.
Posted by CAD703X
Liberty Island
Member since Jul 2008
94691 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 10:23 am to
quote:

head to toe in black,





Wait...




reading comprehension guys

quote:

The night vision surveillance footage makes his attire appear white.
Posted by Gradual_Stroke
Bee Cave, TX
Member since Oct 2012
20917 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 10:23 am to
You can't expect me to actually read the article before I comment. This is the internet
Posted by CAD703X
Liberty Island
Member since Jul 2008
94691 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 10:27 am to
quote:

You can't expect me to actually read the article before I comment. This is the internet


its like the second sentence in the OP
Posted by Anonymous95
Member since Sep 2014
2101 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 10:58 am to
quote:

a masturbator

This description cracked me up.
Posted by RB10
Member since Nov 2010
52640 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 11:00 am to
Someone is winning at life
Posted by Clyde Tipton
Planet Earth
Member since Dec 2007
40907 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 11:03 am to
Is the plan to get it on the door handle in hopes someone comes home and touches it?

Whoever lives there was targeted... and that's dangerous, this guy has good aim apparently.
Posted by kilo1234
Member since May 2014
1431 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 11:11 am to
quote:

this guy has good aim apparently


Dude doesn't jack off, he jacks ON.
Posted by Spaulding Smails
Milano’s Bar
Member since Jun 2012
18805 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 11:13 am to
Pretty impressive that the guy just used his imagination to climax.
Posted by Slingin Pickle
Fancy side of the North Shore
Member since Jun 2008
3045 posts
Posted on 3/15/16 at 11:23 am to
I can't imagine the level of shame one would feel after finishing and walking away.....
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