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Message
re: Relationship advice
Posted on 3/1/20 at 10:12 am to ruzil
Posted on 3/1/20 at 10:12 am to ruzil
quote:So you're saying marriage today is exactly like Mesopotamians? OK Millenial. Or it's the same as ancient Hebrew, ancient Greek, and Roman marriage? OK Millenial!
The first recorded evidence of marriage ceremonies uniting one woman and one man dates from about 2350 B.C., in Mesopotamia. Over the next several hundred years, marriage evolved into a widespread institution embraced by the ancient Hebrews, Greeks, and Romans.
OK Millennial !
TIL boomers are about 4300 years old.
0
Posted on 3/1/20 at 10:16 am to SidewalkTiger
quote:
I've heard people say they lost a girl they loved because they wanted to party or chase other women and they regretted it later.
I feel like this WAY less common than people who get married anyway with doubts and then divorce.
Your OP sounds like you think this girl is nice enough, but it certainly doesn’t read like you’re crazy about her. And that’s fine, but don’t marry someone who you just think is nice.
Posted on 3/1/20 at 10:17 am to MSUDawg98
I didn’t even realize that. You’re totally right. My SO lived 5 hours away from me for 3 years of our relationship, and he came back home every weekend.
This post was edited on 3/1/20 at 10:18 am
Posted on 3/1/20 at 10:21 am to SidewalkTiger
If you want kids, pull the trigger and do it. Otherwise you’re gonna be attending 8th grade graduation at 50.
Seriously, don’t wait to have kids if you’re financially solid.
Seriously, don’t wait to have kids if you’re financially solid.
Posted on 3/1/20 at 10:45 am to SidewalkTiger
Have a long engagement until you’re ready. You can even wait another year to pop the question initially.
Posted on 3/1/20 at 10:46 am to geauxbrown
quote:50 is the new 40
Otherwise you’re gonna be attending 8th grade graduation at 50.
Posted on 3/1/20 at 11:02 am to Paige
quote:
He’s in his twenties. Totally normal to not be ready to marry in today’s times
They need to spend more time to get to know each other. That doesn’t happen in 2 days a month. Most couples spend at least 4 times that
Someone has to take the risk and move. If she wants to, she should do it
This. I have enough friends that were pressured into marriage (either by each other, relatives, or society at large) and most have not worked out.
Posted on 3/1/20 at 11:04 am to geauxbrown
quote:
If you want kids, pull the trigger and do it. Otherwise you’re gonna be attending 8th grade graduation at 50.
Seriously, don’t wait to have kids if you’re financially solid.
And what's wrong with this? If I don't feel ready for family and kids yet, I'm not going to do it. I'll probably be 34 or 35 if I have kids, and I'd definitely take that over the 25 year olds popping them out and begging the neighborhood to support their travel ball team fees.
Posted on 3/1/20 at 11:37 am to SidewalkTiger
quote:
Any words of wisdom?
If you want to maintain the relationship, then Do what mrtechnicaldifficult tells you
Posted on 3/1/20 at 11:43 am to geauxbrown
(no message)
This post was edited on 6/14/20 at 8:40 pm
Posted on 3/1/20 at 11:46 am to SidewalkTiger
Tell her your feelings. Be honest and upfront, but provide an option to get to know each other better: shack up for a few months. If it doesn’t work out, you know y’all got a fair shot. If it does work out, then you know you’re marrying someone you’re compatible with.
Posted on 3/1/20 at 11:47 am to SidewalkTiger
PIIHB
Posted on 3/1/20 at 11:49 am to SidewalkTiger
Get married when you're ready and not one day sooner. If she can't wait then let her go be someone else's problem.
Posted on 3/1/20 at 12:03 pm to Paige
quote:
He’s socially handicapped
So you only know me from a message board, yet you think I am socially handicapped?
Look, I actually think you are good people. You don't hide who you are. At times the board will give you a hard time because you don't hide anything about you, but the current you don't let it bother you..
But how the frick do you think I am socially handicapped? IRL that is not accurate at all. Yeah, I post stupid shite on here and what I post is usually me being the way I am IRL, but the problem with reading my post is not hearing the tone I would say it with.
If you knew me IRL you would know there are times when I just say shite to say it and you would know it from my tone. So yeah.. Your assessment of me is dead wrong..
Posted on 3/1/20 at 12:07 pm to OweO
that response proves youre socially handicapped
you
piece
of
shite
you
piece
of
shite
Posted on 3/1/20 at 12:15 pm to SidewalkTiger
quote:
but I really don't feel "ready" to get married and I don't know why
Trust that feeling. Don't do it.
quote:
Spending the rest of my life with her doesnt scare me, I just don't want to "right now".
So just tell her that. What's the problem?
quote:
Should I just break up with her so she can find someone else who'd have no problem settling down?
If it's a dealbreaker for her, yes. Otherwise why not just keep things as they are until you feel you're ready for marriage?
This post was edited on 3/1/20 at 12:16 pm
Posted on 3/1/20 at 1:27 pm to OWLFAN86
quote:
that response proves youre socially handicapped
I was just proving her point
Posted on 3/1/20 at 2:10 pm to SidewalkTiger
I am not reading through 7 pages, so this has probably been stated already, but you should probably live in the same town for a while before you move in together and get married.
Posted on 3/2/20 at 10:04 am to SidewalkTiger
Why is this so difficult? The fact is, you don't know if you're ready because you don't really know her.
Tell her that. Tell her you'd like to know her better, but to do that you'll have to spend much more time together. Ask her to move closer. Let it be her decision, not yours. If she doesn't want to make the effort to really get to know you before marriage, then it's all on her. Decision made. Run like hell.
Tell her that. Tell her you'd like to know her better, but to do that you'll have to spend much more time together. Ask her to move closer. Let it be her decision, not yours. If she doesn't want to make the effort to really get to know you before marriage, then it's all on her. Decision made. Run like hell.
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