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re: Question for you divorced baws

Posted on 10/11/22 at 11:54 am to
Posted by Rick9Plus
Baton Rouge
Member since Jul 2020
2234 posts
Posted on 10/11/22 at 11:54 am to
Keep in touch and be friendly is one thing, but if you are still hanging around for dinner and holidays, it seems you haven’t moved on. How would you like to be at your new SO or wife’s family Christmas, and her ex is there carving the turkey and having a beer with her dad? No room for someone new if the ex hasn’t vacated their spot. I’m friendly with my ex in-laws, but there are boundaries, especially since my ex and I have been divorced over 10 years and have both moved on.
This post was edited on 10/11/22 at 11:55 am
Posted by Tantal
Member since Sep 2012
17667 posts
Posted on 10/11/22 at 11:58 am to
If I happen to run into my a-hole former in-laws at a kid's function, I'll be cordial, but I don't go out of my way to interact with them. Shockingly, my former in-laws LOVE my current wife. Every time they see us at a function, they make a bee line for us. They'll interact more with her than their own daughter at these events.
Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
68426 posts
Posted on 10/11/22 at 12:01 pm to
I’m still on good terms with my former in-laws and talk with them every now and then. They were like an extra set of parents for me when their daughter and I were together, and I live in the same neighborhood as them.
Posted by jrefferson
Walker
Member since Sep 2004
1163 posts
Posted on 10/11/22 at 12:07 pm to
I wouldn't say that I have a relationship with my ex in-laws but I do see them from time to time to pick up my daughter if she is visiting with them. We are cordial with each other. Now my parents still have a solid relationship with my ex-wife. Doesn't really bother me as it is what's good for my daughter. Kids bring a whole different aspect to the situation that has to be dealt with on an individual basis. No kids....depends on whether you want to continue said relationship or not.
Posted by EZE Tiger Fan
Member since Jul 2004
54499 posts
Posted on 10/11/22 at 12:07 pm to
Don't talk to them at all but I understand why. The Ex lied to them about a lot of things, so they think I did a bunch of shite I didn't do. I saw the text exchanges first hand and almost responded, but decided to just leave it all alone.

I'm better off without their daughter and her drama. I'll just leave it all alone. They aren't family anymore anyway.
Posted by Colonel Angus
Member since Aug 2007
1876 posts
Posted on 10/11/22 at 12:13 pm to
quote:

Its weird because we've been perfectly amicable and pleasant, but her family immediately turned on me and I became a pariah to them (even though I did nothing wrong).


This happens a LOT. Have a good buddy who's wife cheated on him with a married guy in their social circle. There was zero doubt this was all on her and when it first came out, her family was all apologetic to him and wanted to remain amicable (esp due to the fact that they had kids). She and the other guy wanted to get married. About 6 months later during the divorce and custody mess, her family turned on him like a spider monkey. Accused him of verbally and possibly mildly physically abusing their daughter.
Posted by EZE Tiger Fan
Member since Jul 2004
54499 posts
Posted on 10/11/22 at 12:18 pm to
quote:

Accused him of verbally and possibly mildly physically abusing their daughter.


Well, in their defense, their daughter likely fed them a ton of lies in order to justify her shitty behavior. Being that this is their daughter, they eventually started believing it.

Sucks for your friend, but this is how it goes.
Posted by tigertrueAU
Canyon Lake Texas
Member since Oct 2009
1270 posts
Posted on 10/11/22 at 12:21 pm to
separated and divorced for almost 2 years now.
i’m very close with all my in laws. i hunt, fish, bbq and spend holidays with them. they told me early on in the separation that their daughter is divorcing me, not them.
they see their grandkids (my kids) more because of me then because of their daughter/
xwife hates it. she’s basically stopped talking to them because they wouldn’t sever ties with me.
they explained to her that i’m the father of their grandkids, and they didn’t want to cut me out of their life and send a message to the kids that made me look like i had done something wrong.

if you and them are close then i encourage you to continue the relationship.
i love it them like blood. great people.
This post was edited on 10/11/22 at 12:25 pm
Posted by bgtiger
Prairieville
Member since Dec 2004
11740 posts
Posted on 10/11/22 at 12:24 pm to
It depends on how much they really like you, or do they kind of turn on you? I see nothing wrong with it, in theory, but I would need to feel that out first. Especially if you have children you must at least figure that out first.
Posted by madamsquirrel
The big somewhere out there
Member since Jul 2009
53484 posts
Posted on 10/11/22 at 12:41 pm to
quote:

Its weird because we've been perfectly amicable and pleasant, but her family immediately turned on me and I became a pariah to them (even though I did nothing wrong). They've even pushed her to go after me for more money.

I was closer with her family than I was with my own family.
same but only the mil and fil act this way. Ex and I have no issues now and I still talk to other members of his family but the ex inlaws won't speak to me at all. Exhas never remarried and I think they are mad that I left even though it was their son's fault.

Posted by SECdragonmaster
Order of the Dragons
Member since Dec 2013
17181 posts
Posted on 10/11/22 at 12:47 pm to
quote:

I LOVE my in-laws. Cannot fathom not being in their lives...especially my young niece


quote:

Cannot fathom not being in their lives...especially my young niece


quote:

especially my young niece






Posted by Richard Grayson
Bestbank
Member since Sep 2022
2149 posts
Posted on 10/11/22 at 1:04 pm to
quote:

my Mom would take me to visit the parents of her 1st husband from time to time. My Dad didn’t agree with it


Your dad was her second husband? She took you to visit her ex-inlaws?

That's weird.
Posted by Rick9Plus
Baton Rouge
Member since Jul 2020
2234 posts
Posted on 10/11/22 at 1:50 pm to
quote:

Your dad was her second husband? She took you to visit her ex-inlaws?


Yeah, and his dad didn’t like it but she kept doing it. To me, unless first husband died and that’s why they split, it’s weird.
Posted by AUriptide
Member since Aug 2009
7446 posts
Posted on 10/11/22 at 1:58 pm to
quote:

So where do you stand on this? Keep in touch with ex’s family or forget em?


I still care for my exinlaws (They were good to me), but I felt it was best to move on. They have Jody now and I've cleaned the slate and moved on.

The only time I'm in contact with the Ex is when something comes up with say an account we had together or mail. Been a year, so becoming less and less.
Posted by tiger3162
The Blue D
Member since Sep 2003
227 posts
Posted on 10/11/22 at 2:35 pm to
I had a great relationship with my ex’s parents and most of her siblings. I cut them all off when we filed. I am not rude, mean, etc. I say hi when we are at functions together, but in the end I am not their family anymore and I removed myself from that situation. I did not see a situation where long term this would be beneficial to me. It may sound selfish but I rest east every night knowing that no drama comes from this. I sell them a set of my LSU tickets every year opposed to giving them to them.
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